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Clips from Master of None - Hot Ticket (S01E01)

"Well, um, got that one as well."
Master of None
"Great."
Master of None
"Why'd you yell, "Miami"?"
Master of None
"Um, it's an inside joke with me and my girls"
Master of None
"from our Miami trip."
Master of None
"Oh."
Master of None
"You guys just went to Miami"
Master of None
"and yelled, "Miami," a bunch?"
Master of None
"Yeah. It was hysterical."
Master of None
"All right, ready?"
Master of None
"Quick game, quick game."
Master of None
"If you could live anywhere in the world,"
Master of None
"where would you live?"
Master of None
"Go!"
Master of None
"And five and six and seven and eight and one and two--"
Master of None
"Uh, Italy?"
Master of None
"Yes! Easy."
Master of None
""Alice, where would you live?""
Master of None
"Mars, no question. You can breathe there now."
Master of None
"What?"
Master of None
"♪ ♪"
Master of None
"How crazy would it be"
Master of None
"if I just started sucking that guy's dick over there?"
Master of None
"Yeah."
Master of None
"That'd be pretty nuts."
Master of None
"Oh! What would you do?"
Master of None
"I don't know."
Master of None
"I would probably be like,"
Master of None
""Hey, Alice, why are you sucking a stranger's dick"
Master of None
"in a public place?""
Master of None
"Yeah, and then-- And then I'd be all like, "Huh?""
Master of None
"Oh, hey."
Master of None
"Hey."
Master of None
"Look at that jacket over there."
Master of None
"You dare me to steal it?"
Master of None
"No."
Master of None
"Don't do that?"
Master of None
"But it's a cool jacket."
Master of None
"And I want it."
Master of None
"And people lose jackets at shows all the time."
Master of None
"Mm, I'm just gonna take it."
Master of None
"Are you really just gonna take that?"
Master of None
"Yeah, it's funny."
Master of None
"It's kind of like you just stole it."
Master of None
"I know!"
Master of None
"Mm! You know what sounds good?"
Master of None
"Let's go do some coke and then play some laser tag."
Master of None
"Oh, no, I'm not up for that."
Master of None
"Come on."
Master of None
"Hey, hey! What the fuck? That's my jacket."
Master of None
"- Uh... - She's trying to steal my jacket."
Master of None
"Hold my drink."
Master of None
"No, I'm not."
Master of None
"He bought it for me. It's from Paris."
Master of None
"It's from fucking Topshop, and it's mine."
Master of None
"- Give it back. - No."
Master of None
"- Give it back. - No!"
Master of None
"- Hey, come on. - Give it back!"
Master of None
"- No! - Oh, shit."
Master of None
"Break it up!"
Master of None
"Ladies!"
Master of None
"All right, take it out of here!"
Master of None
"Rape! No!"
Master of None
"- Dev, help. Help. - Sorry. I don't know."
Master of None
"Tell them she's being crazy!"
Master of None
"- No, I-- I don't know-- - Tell them she's being crazy."
Master of None
"Listen-- Dev, what the fuck?"
Master of None
"Oh, okay, no, that's our song!"
Master of None
"I don't know you."
Master of None
"You got to meet her outside, man."
Master of None
"Um, yeah, I actually might just kick it here."
Master of None
"Probably a good call, player."
Master of None
"Dev?"
Master of None
"Hey!"
Master of None
"- Hey. - Rachel."
Master of None
"How is everything?"
Master of None
"You remembered my name."
Master of None
"Ah, yeah, I remembered your name."
Master of None
"Well, I mean, I hadn't heard from you."
Master of None
"I hadn't heard from you either."
Master of None
"That's a two-way street."
Master of None
"I'm actually really glad that I ran into you."
Master of None
"'Cause it turns out that that Plan B pill was a dud."
Master of None
"And I had your kid-- Kids, actually."
Master of None
"It was twins."
Master of None
"Yeah, one white, one Indian."
Master of None
"You know, I thought it would probably be two beige ones."
Master of None
"That's interesting."
Master of None
"So what did you think of the show?"
Master of None
"Thought it was great."
Master of None
"How did you weasel in here?"
Master of None
"I'm here for work."
Master of None
"I do PR for the label."
Master of None
"But it was a secret show, so it was pretty easy on the PR front."
Master of None
"I guess I fucked up 'cause a lot of people showed up."
Master of None
"What about you? How was your night?"
Master of None
"Um, I was on a date that is now over"
Master of None
"because she got thrown out of the venue."
Master of None
"What? Oh, my God, that sucks."
Master of None
"Uh, oh, no, I'm thrilled."
Master of None
"She was a nightmare."
Master of None
"Really? What happened?"
Master of None
"She began the night with an aggressive Cartman impression"
Master of None
"and then ended it by being kicked out"
Master of None
"for stealing someone's jacket."
Master of None
"Ugh, brutal."
Master of None
"But Cartman's really funny, though."
Master of None
"That's what she kept insisting."
Master of None
"I'm actually headed over to the after party."
Master of None
"It's at Achilles Heel."
Master of None
"If you want to come, I can talk to the person"
Master of None
"in charge of the list."
Master of None
"Eh?"
Master of None
"Yeah, that'd be cool."
Master of None
"Um, I got to meet my friend Denise,"
Master of None
"but I'll maybe stop by later."
Master of None
"All right, cool."
Master of None
"All right."
Master of None
"Well, tell them twins I said, "What's up?""
Master of None
"Yeah, they are expecting child support, so..."
Master of None
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