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Clips from Master of None - Hot Ticket (S01E01)

"Oh, well, tell the white one to keep waiting."
Master of None
"I'm only supporting the one that looks like me, so..."
Master of None
"- All right, bye. - Bye."
Master of None
"Was this Plan B apple juice girl?"
Master of None
"Mm-hmm."
Master of None
"Yeah, she was pretty cool."
Master of None
"She invited me to this thing at Achilles Heel later."
Master of None
"I might check it out. What's your story?"
Master of None
"I'm grabbing drinks with Michelle,"
Master of None
"AKA Princess Love."
Master of None
"Lil' Funyuns? Seriously?"
Master of None
"Yeah, man. Look, she's cute."
Master of None
"Plus, I fuck with Funyuns."
Master of None
"I mean, I'm more of a Cheetos girl, but whatever."
Master of None
"You can't encourage that kind of behavior, though."
Master of None
"Yeah, but she left me, like, one more voice mail,"
Master of None
"and I was just like, "A'ight.""
Master of None
"Fair enough, all right."
Master of None
"Let me see what Brian's up to."
Master of None
"He's at the Cabin."
Master of None
"He says, "Come. Great party."
Master of None
"Vibe, A-minus. Girls, A-minus. Overall, A-minus.""
Master of None
"Glad he broke it down into three categories."
Master of None
"That place is such a shit show on weekends."
Master of None
"Why do y'all always want to go there?"
Master of None
"'Cause it's a good spot to meet new people."
Master of None
"More chickenheads to put in your phone"
Master of None
"and text nonsense to forever."
Master of None
"Why don't you go kick it with Rachel?"
Master of None
"I mean, she seems cool, but I don't know her that well."
Master of None
"Who knows? Maybe I'll go to this party"
Master of None
"and I'll meet someone magical that'll change my life."
Master of None
"Maybe Rachel's magical."
Master of None
"How are you gonna know if you don't spend time with her?"
Master of None
"Look, people aren't gonna always be magical right away."
Master of None
"Maybe they'll become magical."
Master of None
"Or they'll become garbage."
Master of None
"Speaking of which, I got to go meet up"
Master of None
"with Princess Love, AKA Lil' Funyuns."
Master of None
"All right. I'll grab these."
Master of None
"Head on out, Queen D, AKA Rich Homey Cheetos."
Master of None
"Later, man."
Master of None
"Later."
Master of None
"♪ ♪"
Master of None
"Hey!"
Master of None
"What's up, bing-bong?"
Master of None
"You showed up."
Master of None
"I did."
Master of None
"Um, wow."
Master of None
"So many hip people here."
Master of None
"Yeah, pretty cool."
Master of None
"Uh, so this is kind of more of a work thing"
Master of None
"or you still get to have fun?"
Master of None
"I mean, it's a little bit of both."
Master of None
"But I guess this is fun"
Master of None
"because I'm a really big fan of the band."
Master of None
"Yeah, they were great."
Master of None
"You know, I haven't been to a show in a while."
Master of None
"The last concert I went to, actually, was The Silly Billies."
Master of None
"The kids' bands?"
Master of None
"Yeah."
Master of None
"To be clear, not a solo mission."
Master of None
"I took my little cousin."
Master of None
"Oh, and how was the show?"
Master of None
"It was awesome."
Master of None
"Little kids were going ape shit."
Master of None
"They did all their big hits."
Master of None
"- Hot Potato. - Mm-hmm."
Master of None
"- Wheels on the Bus. - Yep."
Master of None
"And Heads, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes."
Master of None
"Yes."
Master of None
"Well, I'm gonna let you in on a little industry secret."
Master of None
"The Silly Billies are monsters."
Master of None
"What? No, I don't believe that."
Master of None
"Yeah, I have a friend who works with them,"
Master of None
"and she says they're the biggest divas she's ever worked with."
Master of None
"And this is from somebody who repped Mariah Carey."
Master of None
"Ooh, one of VH1's Divas Live!"
Master of None
"They can't even be on the same flight together"
Master of None
"because there was all this drama"
Master of None
"because the Blue Billy fucked the Red Billy's wife"
Master of None
"while the Green Billy watched."
Master of None
"No, no, no, that's not true."
Master of None
"That can't be true."
Master of None
"It's super true."
Master of None
"And one of the Billies is obsessed with feet."
Master of None
"What is up with those dudes that are into feet?"
Master of None
"You know, so many dudes are into feet."
Master of None
"If you Google any female celebrity's name,"
Master of None
"the first thing that comes up is "feet.""
Master of None
"I don't get it."
Master of None
"What are you more into? Are you a boobs guy?"
Master of None
"Butts guy?"
Master of None
"Head, shoulders, knees, and toes guy?"
Master of None
"Yes, that's me."
Master of None
"I usually Google"
Master of None
""Scarlett Johansson,"
Master of None
"head, shoulders, knees, and toes.""
Master of None
"Sometimes I do just the head and shoulders,"
Master of None
"but the shampoo comes up. It's very confusing."
Master of None
"Um, well, this is maybe the most amazing song"
Master of None
"that's ever been created."
Master of None
"Would you be opposed to dancing?"
Master of None
"Oh, yeah, hold on."
Master of None
"All right."
Master of None
"♪ ♪"
Master of None
"Your jacket has a lot of zippers."
Master of None
"Yeah, there's a lot of little compartments."
Master of None
"Do you have any tiny objects that need storage?"
Master of None
"I have cough drops."
Master of None
"Oh, yeah."
Master of None
"Yeah, so you put them in here."
Master of None
"That's what this is for."
Master of None
"It's a little cough drop storage area, you know."
Master of None
"I'm riding my motorcycle, sometimes I get a sore throat."
Master of None
"Boop, pop a couple in, keep on riding."
Master of None
"No, what's that noise?"
Master of None
"That's not a good noise."
Master of None
"So my ex-boyfriend just moved back from Seattle..."
Master of None
"No!"
Master of None
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