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Clips from Igor

"(PENNIES FROM HEAVEN PLAYING)"
Igor
"And every time it rains It rains pennies from heaven"
Igor
"Don't you know each cloud contains pennies from heaven?"
Igor
"You'll find your fortune falling"
Igor
"All over town"
Igor
"Be sure that your umbrella is up-up-up-up-upside down"
Igor
"And trade them for a package of sunshine and ravioli"
Igor
"Nice weather we're having, huh?"
Igor
"Here in the kingdom of Malaria,"
Igor
"every day's forecast is rainy with a 100% chance of horror."
Igor
"It wasn't always like this, though."
Igor
"Years ago, Malaria was a sunny land of farmers."
Igor
"Until the mysterious storm clouds rolled in and never left."
Igor
"They killed our crops, and our people became poor."
Igor
"And that's when King Malbert..."
Igor
"thought up a new way for us to make money,"
Igor
"Evil Inventions."
Igor
"The kind that crush you, kill you, bring you back to life,"
Igor
"then kill you again, way worse."
Igor
"We invent them, and the world pays us not to unleash them."
Igor
"Oh, It's a great gig, especially if you're an Evil Scientist."
Igor
"Fame, fortune, a rent-free castle in the hills."
Igor
"They get it all. They're the top of the heap."
Igor
"Igor! Pull the switch!"
Igor
"Yes, Master!"
Igor
"And the bottom of the heap? Those are the poor slobs like me,"
Igor
"born with a hunch on our back, Igors."
Igor
"Actually, that Igor's not me."
Igor
"Igor! Pull the switch!"
Igor
"Yes, Master!"
Igor
"No, no, no, that's not me, either."
Igor
"That's me. See? I look nothing like those other guys,"
Igor
"much better-looking."
Igor
"Anyway, all Igors are forced to serve Evil Scientists."
Igor
"Our life is a permanent graveyard shift."
Igor
"But I never wanted to be an Igor."
Igor
"I always wanted to be an Evil Scientist."
Igor
"Unfortunately, the hunch on my back was a one-way ticket"
Igor
"to Igor School."
Igor
"I majored in Talking With a Slur and graduated with a Yes Masters Degree."
Igor
"Then, it was off to find a job."
Igor
"Hi, I'm here about the "Igor Wanted" ad. My name's Igor."
Igor
"Well, of course it is. I've got a hunch on my back."
Igor
"What's my name gonna be? Kevin?"
Igor
"They didn't appreciate my creative style."
Igor
"But eventually, I landed a job for Dr. Glickenstein."
Igor
"Pull the switch!"
Igor
"Not the smartest scientist."
Igor
"His last invention was an Evil Lasagna."
Igor
"It didn't kill anyone. And it actually tasted pretty good."
Igor
"Igor!"
Igor
"Igors aren't allowed to invent,"
Igor
"but I still manage to work on my own inventions in secret."
Igor
"And this new one is gonna be the one that proves"
Igor
"that I'm the biggest Evil Genius of them all, and not just another..."
Igor
"Igor!"
Igor
"Once they see what I can do, I'll have a whole new life,"
Igor
"and I'll never have to answer to another master again."
Igor
"Sorry Master. What did you say?"
Igor
"Oh! I mean..."
Igor
"Sorry, Master. I was in the bathroom."
Igor
"Had a bat stuck in the belfry, if you know what I mean, Master."
Igor
"I don't want to hear your toilet memoirs, you cretin!"
Igor
"I give you five minutes a week to take care of your business."
Igor
"I'm not running a resort here!"
Igor
"Now get over there and..."
Igor
"Pull the switch!"
Igor
"Yes, Master!"
Igor
"Yes! Yes!"
Igor
"Yes!"
Igor
"Who's the failure now, Mother?"
Igor
"Mummy, Mummy, you were right!"
Igor
"I was never meant to be a scientist."
Igor
"I should have been a plumber like you!"
Igor
"That was the first time he was right all day."
Igor
"You! Go find me a 16-gigawatt temporal transducer!"
Igor
"Excuse me, Master, are you sure you don't mean 21-gigawatt?"
Igor
"You're correcting me?"
Igor
"Strike!"
Igor
"I should do more improv."
Igor
"My hunch."
Igor
"Oh, there she goes. Much better."
Igor
"Good evening, friends!"
Igor
"That's Scamper, one of my most successful inventions."
Igor
"I made him immortal."
Igor
"Which is kind of a hassle for him, since he doesn't want to live."
Igor
"Will nothing end this vicious cycle?"
Igor
"I also made him talk."
Igor
"Which is a hassle for me, since he never shuts up."
Igor
"No fair!"
Igor
"You wasted your immortality formula on the wrong guy, Igor."
Igor
"That's Brain, one of my other inventions."
Igor
"Legend has it when the smartest man in the world died,"
Igor
"they put his brain in a jar."
Igor
"This is not that brain."
Igor
"I wanna live forever! I got plans! And dreams!"
Igor
"I got a squeaky wheel! Was that me?"
Igor
"Really, Brain?"
Igor
"You want to be trapped in an endless existential nightmare,"
Igor
"forced to keep living,"
Igor
"even though life is meaningless"
Igor
"and nothing matters?"
Igor
"Possibly."
Igor
"What exactly did you say?"
Igor
"Too bad he wasted his intelligence formula on me, too, Brain."
Igor
"Or should I say "Brian"?"
Igor
"Hey! I was in a hurry!"
Igor
"Stupid permanent marker."
Igor
"Enough."
Igor
"The Evil Science Fair is in a week,"
Igor
"and Glickenstein is gonna lose again."
Igor
"Okay, I get it. You want me to fix his invention."
Igor
"Now I'll just need a screwdriver, some nails and my bag of marbles."
Igor
"Don't touch his invention, Brain."
Igor
"Fine! You don't want the benefit of my brain power?"
Igor
"Then, farewell, Igor."
Igor
"Like a gentle fawn, I shall leave this meadow."
Igor
"On second thought maybe I'll stick around,"
Igor
"so I can watch Mr. Smarty-hunch"
Igor
"fix Glickenstein's invention."
Igor
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