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Clips from Human Resources (2022) - Shitstorm (S01E01)

"Maury, come on."
Human Resources (2022)
"Leave us alone. No, wait. Apologize first and then leave."
Human Resources (2022)
"How about you apologize for making me miss out on that cool adventure squad?"
Human Resources (2022)
"I would've been the hot one."
Human Resources (2022)
"That means something to me, Maury."
Human Resources (2022)
"Does your own child mean something to you?"
Human Resources (2022)
"-No. Again, no. -[water flowing]"
Human Resources (2022)
"Uh-oh. Maury, is the bathroom flooding?"
Human Resources (2022)
"[distressed] Yes. And I'd rather sit in sewage than see your face ever again."
Human Resources (2022)
"Unless the baby looks like you, which I would adore."
Human Resources (2022)
"This is stupid, get out of there."
Human Resources (2022)
"-Oh, fuck you. -[pipes bursting]"
Human Resources (2022)
"No, yeah. Yeah, actually, I'm gonna come out."
Human Resources (2022)
"-[clanks] -[gasps] Oh, goodness! Oh, me, oh, my!"
Human Resources (2022)
"What is it? Big cramp?"
Human Resources (2022)
"No, I broke the door, I'm trapped!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Uh, don't worry. I'll bust you outta there somehow."
Human Resources (2022)
"[gasps] Todd has the keys!"
Human Resources (2022)
"You've gotta get Todd's keys."
Human Resources (2022)
"He has the keys."
Human Resources (2022)
"Ooh, I'll go find 'em on his dead corpse. Just hang on, okay?"
Human Resources (2022)
"-Oh, don't worry, baby, Mommy will-- -Take that fuckin' back."
Human Resources (2022)
"-[sighs] Connie will save us. -All right, then."
Human Resources (2022)
"Mommy's gonna save us. Your mommy's name is Connie."
Human Resources (2022)
"Mommy is Connie, Connie's your Mommy, Connie-Mommy."
Human Resources (2022)
"-[dramatic music playing] -Hey, guys, this is it!"
Human Resources (2022)
"The thingy's in there!"
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"[Gavin] Come on!"
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"[grunting] Fist! Fist, fist!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Pete, is there another entrance we could-- Wait, where's Pete? Where's Dante?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Who cares? All that matters is we get inside, where it's warm and safe!"
Human Resources (2022)
"-Well, we can't get in this way. -[Gavin] Come on!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Gavin tried, and he's the strongest one."
Human Resources (2022)
"I don't know, Walter. No one's stronger than… Hateworm."
Human Resources (2022)
"-You know what I'm saying? -Oh, folks, that's not a good idea."
Human Resources (2022)
"What's that, thunder thighs?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Motherfu--"
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"Okay, I see what you're doing,"
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"but I'm not turning into a Hateworm today."
Human Resources (2022)
"You sure, you Pez-headed fuck?"
Human Resources (2022)
"Mmm! Nope! It's not gonna work."
Human Resources (2022)
"Okay, I got it. I got it."
Human Resources (2022)
"Mariah Carey's high G is a crutch."
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"[menacingly] A crutch?"
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"[growling]"
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"How dare you?"
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"Don't say a word to me about Mariah!"
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"She's the only good thing about QVC or America."
Human Resources (2022)
"-[yelling] -[all cheering]"
Human Resources (2022)
"[Petra] All right, Walter! Come on, let's go!"
Human Resources (2022)
"I'm not going anywhere with you people!"
Human Resources (2022)
"I hope the writers kill you all off!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Next season, new cast! I don't give a fuck."
Human Resources (2022)
"-[Lionel] Oh, look at that. -[crackling]"
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"You're welcome, baby. Here we go!"
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"[straining]"
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"You can do it, mate! Just use those Stonehenge quads of yours."
Human Resources (2022)
"I'm sorry. It's too heavy. And you're losing blood."
Human Resources (2022)
"Oh, shit, I'm a bit woozy. Should I go towards that light?"
Human Resources (2022)
"-Is that a good idea? -Uh…"
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"Dante, it brings me barely any joy to say this,"
Human Resources (2022)
"but, uh, I'm gonna have to amputate your penis."
Human Resources (2022)
"-[laughs nervously] -What? Lose my manhood? I'd rather die."
Human Resources (2022)
"Well, you know, those are the two choices."
Human Resources (2022)
"I'll take my chances."
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"Look, your chances of surviving with no blood in your body are very low."
Human Resources (2022)
"I'm trying to be a good guy, so, please, just let me cut your dick off!"
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"[sucking air between teeth]"
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"-Okay, make it quick! -I'll try."
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"[tense music playing]"
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"Okay, here it comes."
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"Ahh!"
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"I know, I know."
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"-[yelling] The knife's serrated? -I can't imagine this feels good."
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"[sobbing] Why?"
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"It's all I had. Sorry."
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"[sobbing] Ahh! Cut away from this already! There must be other stories!"
Human Resources (2022)
"[Gil gulps and groans]"
Human Resources (2022)
"That's the last of the dairy. I think I gotta tap out, Joe."
Human Resources (2022)
"Let's just leave the salads."
Human Resources (2022)
"Who are you to decide which food gets left behind?"
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"-We have orders! -We do? From who?"
Human Resources (2022)
"From God, Gil. And she hates food waste."
Human Resources (2022)
"You're right! You're always fucking right! Hand me that Niçoise."
Human Resources (2022)
"Just take a handful of fish."
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"I'm going medieval on this dirty tuna."
Human Resources (2022)
"That's not gonna work. You gotta board it up."
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"-Oh, really? No doy! -[baby crying]"
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"Do something! Board up that window before a wind tunnel forms!"
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"-[exclaims] -[baby shrieking]"
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"Oh, no!"
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"-Are you fucking serious? -What do you want from me?"
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"I can't think with your damn kid shrieking like that!"
Human Resources (2022)
"Maybe you can't think because you're a dumbass."
Human Resources (2022)
"Hey, rich-tits, don't call my husband dumb."
Human Resources (2022)
"Your girl better watch it."
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"Oh, your dude better watch it."
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"-[all shriek] -[Rochelle] Jesus fucking Christ!"
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"The wind tunnel! It's gonna kill us all!"
Human Resources (2022)
"This is all Doug's fault."
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"-If that tacky moron… -Tacky?"
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"…knew how to board up a window--"
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"You're tacky! Becca's a girl-bossy stuck-up--"
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"-Ahh! -[Tito] It's happening!"
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"Bitch! I was gonna call her a bitch!"
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"Todd? Todd's bod?"
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"Where are you?"
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"Ugh."
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"Hey, Todd. Got your keys there, cutie?"
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"Just gonna flip you over real quick."
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"-Ahh! -Keys are with the legs."
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"Helpful, thanks! And sorry about Todd!"
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"[dramatic music playing]"
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"Come on."
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"No lightning, no lightning, no lightning."
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"Ah!"
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"Ooh!"
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"[grunting]"
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"God damn, Connie."
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"You are the hot one."
Human Resources (2022)
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