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Clips from Central Park - Dog Spray Afternoon (S01E01)

"But I think it's called a "shoops." How old are you, Gootch?"
Central Park
"-What are you doing over there? -Math homework."
Central Park
"All right, well, let me know what you find out. Good luck with the math."
Central Park
"Oh, am I taking off my shoes? I am taking off my shoes."
Central Park
"Ew, just got something on my stocking. Putting my shoes back on."
Central Park
"-How long have you been there? -Long enough to be uncomfortable."
Central Park
"But look, I taught Shampagne a new trick on our walk."
Central Park
"It's like he's got a little mustache, if mustaches went on top of your nose."
Central Park
"All right, enough whimsical stick tricks. We need to get going."
Central Park
"Are you available, by any chance, tomorrow? Same time?"
Central Park
"What? Are you serious? Yes! Yes, thank you."
Central Park
"Thank you, thank you!"
Central Park
"Sorry. I'm not used to whatever that was."
Central Park
"That was a hug."
Central Park
"I thought you were attacking me really gently."
Central Park
"Well, to be fair, this is also how I would attack you."
Central Park
"Paint thinner. Out of paint thinner. My guys need paint thinner."
Central Park
"I thought I had a emergency stash down here in the basement."
Central Park
"I can give you my nail polish remover."
Central Park
"Will that work? Will that get a shart off a seesaw?"
Central Park
"And a bench? And a guy who fell asleep on a bench?"
Central Park
"Owen, Elwood. Bad news, Chief."
Central Park
"He-- He took it up a notch."
Central Park
"You do not tag trees!"
Central Park
"Look at that vein on the side of your head going crazy."
Central Park
"Oh, yeah. Look at that. That is scary."
Central Park
"Night vision goggles, ghillie suits, flare, super-duper-bright flashlights."
Central Park
"Oh, when did we get these in? Ow. That'll be 413 bucks."
Central Park
"Dang, Dad. You mean business."
Central Park
"Not that much business. I guess the camping stove is overkill."
Central Park
"Not even sure what I was thinking with the speargun."
Central Park
"Can we see the total with and without the face paint?"
Central Park
"Tonight when this tagger strikes, we are going to take them out."
Central Park
"Wait, "take them out," like kill them?"
Central Park
"-No. -Arrest them?"
Central Park
"I don't technically have that authority, so it's not so much "take them out""
Central Park
"and more "catch them in the act on camera"
Central Park
"and give that footage to the proper authorities.""
Central Park
"Great, but, like, how do we know where they'll be?"
Central Park
"Well, maybe if we map out all the places they've tagged,"
Central Park
"we can figure out a pattern or something."
Central Park
"Yeah."
Central Park
"Dad, you have had some dumb ideas in your day, but that is not one of them."
Central Park
"Let's go."
Central Park
"Knock, knock."
Central Park
"Time for doggy's worm medicine and Bitsy's heart pill."
Central Park
"Oh, crap. Which is which? Why'd I put them on the tray like this?"
Central Park
"-Oh, well. Eeny, meeny, miny, moe. -We're busy. Pills later."
Central Park
"Oh, I didn't realize you were here doing more estate planning."
Central Park
"I should bring us all tea, and we can just hunker down and really get into it."
Central Park
"Privacy, please. Shampagne has papers to sign."
Central Park
"-What? I mean, what? What's he signing? -Stuff."
Central Park
"But he's a dog. How would it even be legal?"
Central Park
"Paw prints are legally binding in the state of New York."
Central Park
"How else would they sign documents? Dogs can't hold pens!"
Central Park
"Go! Go on! Get!"
Central Park
"He wasn't looking."
Central Park
"Okay. This is every spot there's been a shart tag."
Central Park
"They're all over the park. Is this just random?"
Central Park
"-But what if it isn't? -I guess that'd be neat."
Central Park
"There's a method to this madness More behind this"
Central Park
"A larger plan, an evil twist we missed"
Central Park
"If we map out every spot Marked by our vandal"
Central Park
"We could conclude This lewd graffiti scandal"
Central Park
"He attacked a tree at 85th"
Central Park
"He tagged the Delacorte"
Central Park
"-He switched to red at Rambles Shed -He sharts like it's a sport"
Central Park
"He hit so many playgrounds All the meadows"
Central Park
"Oh, put dots here and here He also sharted those"
Central Park
"Okay, just shout out what you see The first thing in your head"
Central Park
"Chicken pox, gumdrops A dalmatian in a bed"
Central Park
"Wait, are you just naming things with dots?"
Central Park
"-You said to say what it looks like. -Yes, but once you've connected the dots."
Central Park
"Oh, you're not gonna like my list."
Central Park
"-Anybody else? -I was also doing things with dots."
Central Park
"There's a method to this madness We can solve it"
Central Park
"-A chair, a yacht -A big banana split?"
Central Park
"-Maybe it's the skyline? -These could be towers"
Central Park
"Maybe it's just random We've been at this for two hours"
Central Park
"Two hours? That puts you all on overtime. Clock out. Clock out."
Central Park
"-Thanks a lot, Elwood. -Yeah, thanks a lot, Elwood."
Central Park
"Wait, let me see something."
Central Park
"There's a method to this madness"
Central Park
"Thank you. I've been saying that."
Central Park
"It's not a chair, a yacht Dessert or hat"
Central Park
"He's spelling out a word He's on to the last part"
Central Park
"A secret code He's writing with his art"
Central Park
"If you connect the dots like this"
Central Park
"It's a giant shart"
Central Park
"There's a method to the madness"
Central Park
"There's a method to the madness"
Central Park
"All he has to do is cross the T"
Central Park
"-Looks like we're doing a stakeout. -You mean we all get overtime?"
Central Park
"Looks like I'm doing a stakeout with Molly."
Central Park
""Graffiti plague ravages the park.""
Central Park
"That's what I'm talking about."
Central Park
"I'm the smartest person in the world Yeah, yeah, yeah"
Central Park
"Doggy's good leash is at the cleaners, so I have to use this old one."
Central Park
"Sure, sure. Just make sure you do the full loop."
Central Park
"We had a little extra custard after lunch. I don't want him to get custard belly."
Central Park
"We're gonna have ourselves a great walk."
Central Park
"And by custard belly, I mean explosive diarrhea,"
Central Park
"so bring extra baggies or a sponge or something."
Central Park
"Twelve different sales."
Central Park
"Never to an individual buyer. Always a corporation."
Central Park
"Pretty standard for New York real estate."
Central Park
"Big companies are buying up whole chunks of the city."
Central Park
"Now, if my watch is correct, it's cake o'clock in the break room."
Central Park
"-Another birthday? -Doug's. We got him a chocolate cake."
Central Park
"I mean, his birthday was yesterday, but we're doing it today."
Central Park
"Okay. I'm wondering if maybe all these companies are connected somehow."
Central Park
"-Well, are they? -I don't know."
Central Park
"Then why are you telling me?"
Central Park
"Because you're my boss, and also didn't you ask?"
Central Park
"I said, "Hey, Paige, cake in the break room in five minutes.""
Central Park
"And then you were talking about real estate for so long."
Central Park
"Okay, go! I'll see you in there."
Central Park
"All right, but you're really coming, right?"
Central Park
"I don't want it to be just me and Doug."
Central Park
"-All the tax numbers are the same. -What?"
Central Park
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