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Clips from Seinfeld - The Stand-In (S05E05)

"All right, break it up. Come on, you two."
Seinfeld
"Just cut it out now."
Seinfeld
"Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Behave yourselves."
Seinfeld
"- I'm sorry, Kramer. - No, it's all right, it's all right."
Seinfeld
"You're stressed out."
Seinfeld
"Why does this Johnny have it in for you?"
Seinfeld
"He's always been jealous of me."
Seinfeld
"I always got to stand in for the bigger stars."
Seinfeld
"The Cosby kids, Ricky Schroder, Macaulay Culkin."
Seinfeld
"- What's he like? - He's a good kid."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah? - What does he care if you put lifts in?"
Seinfeld
"You don't understand."
Seinfeld
"There's an unwritten code about this."
Seinfeld
"I could be ostracized."
Seinfeld
"I remember when I was a kid, some guy tried to heighten."
Seinfeld
"He lost his job, lost his friends, everything."
Seinfeld
"I knew I was crazy to try this kind of thing..."
Seinfeld
"...but I was so desperate."
Seinfeld
"What is this kid taking, anyway?"
Seinfeld
"Hormones? Steroids?"
Seinfeld
"Would you tell me?"
Seinfeld
"Well, here we are."
Seinfeld
"George, tomorrow's Sunday."
Seinfeld
"We could sleep late and get the paper..."
Seinfeld
"...and have breakfast and spend the morning together..."
Seinfeld
"...go for a long walk, maybe do a little shopping..."
Seinfeld
"- ...have lunch- - You know what? I-"
Seinfeld
"I don't think I'm gonna be able to stay over tonight."
Seinfeld
"- Why not? - Yeah, I really should go home."
Seinfeld
"Actually, I'm planning on spending the day with my father."
Seinfeld
"We're-"
Seinfeld
"We're going to a father-son picnic, just the two of us."
Seinfeld
"I thought we were gonna spend the day together."
Seinfeld
"Well, Dad's been planning this for such a long time."
Seinfeld
"He bought a new blanket."
Seinfeld
"And he got that game with the foam paddles and the Velcro ball."
Seinfeld
"Have you given any more thought to what we talked about?"
Seinfeld
"You know, moving in?"
Seinfeld
"Yes. Oh, yes. Very much."
Seinfeld
"Maybe you don't wanna move in."
Seinfeld
"No, no, I do. You know, it's just-"
Seinfeld
"Maybe Al Nechy was right. Maybe I shouldn't have gotten involved."
Seinfeld
"No, he's not right."
Seinfeld
"Al Nechy is not right."
Seinfeld
"All right, I'm canceling the father-son picnic."
Seinfeld
"I don't know what he's gonna do with all that potato salad."
Seinfeld
"So then Pachyderm picks up the two pieces of pizza."
Seinfeld
"And mind you, now, they're burning hot."
Seinfeld
"He can barely hold them."
Seinfeld
"He's trying to, like, juggle the pizza."
Seinfeld
"You know. I mean-"
Seinfeld
"- And then they go flying- - I'm gonna pee my pants."
Seinfeld
"They go flying out of his hands."
Seinfeld
"And one lands on her face, and the other lands on his face."
Seinfeld
"I mean, the whole place went crazy."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, what a story. - Oh, God. I know. I know."
Seinfeld
"That is one of the funniest stories..."
Seinfeld
"- ...I've ever heard. - I know."
Seinfeld
"Well, this has been one hell of a night."
Seinfeld
"I'm sorry Jerry didn't suggest this sooner."
Seinfeld
"You know..."
Seinfeld
"...you really are beautiful, Elaine."
Seinfeld
"Well..."
Seinfeld
"- Good night. - Good night?"
Seinfeld
"Well..."
Seinfeld
"Come on, Adrian. Give me another chance."
Seinfeld
"I know I can cheer Fulton up."
Seinfeld
"I'll tell you what. I'll do my act."
Seinfeld
"No, new material."
Seinfeld
"He's never heard it."
Seinfeld
"He'll love it. I just did it at the Concorde last week. It killed."
Seinfeld
"Thank you. Thanks- You will not regret this."
Seinfeld
"Okay. Bye. Hey."
Seinfeld
"Hello."
Seinfeld
"So?"
Seinfeld
"- What? - Come on, how was your date?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, the date."
Seinfeld
"The date."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah. How was it? - Interesting."
Seinfeld
"- Really? - Oh, yeah."
Seinfeld
"- Why? What happened? - Let's see."
Seinfeld
"How shall I put this?"
Seinfeld
"Well, just put it."
Seinfeld
"He took it out."
Seinfeld
"He what?"
Seinfeld
"He took..."
Seinfeld
"...it out."
Seinfeld
"He took what out?"
Seinfeld
"It."
Seinfeld
"He took it out?"
Seinfeld
"Yes, sirree, Bob."
Seinfeld
"- He couldn't. - He did."
Seinfeld
"You were involved in some sort of amorous-"
Seinfeld
"No."
Seinfeld
"- You mean, he just-? - Yes."
Seinfeld
"- Are you sure? - Oh, quite."
Seinfeld
"There was no mistaking it?"
Seinfeld
"Jerry."
Seinfeld
"So you were talking, you're having a pleasant conversation..."
Seinfeld
"- ...and then all of a sudden- - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- It. - It."
Seinfeld
"- Out. - Out."
Seinfeld
"Well, I can't believe this. I know Phil."
Seinfeld
"He's a good friend. We play softball together."
Seinfeld
"- How could this be? - Oh, it be."
Seinfeld
"Have you got any other friends you wanna set me up with?"
Seinfeld
"Hey."
Seinfeld
"Hey, how was your date with Phil Tatola?"
Seinfeld
"He took it out."
Seinfeld
"Well, maybe it needed some air."
Seinfeld
"You know, sometimes they need air. They can't breathe in there."
Seinfeld
"It's inhuman."
Seinfeld
"So she's just sitting there, she's having a pleasant conversation..."
Seinfeld
"- ...and all of a sudden- - It."
Seinfeld
"- It. - Out."
Seinfeld
"I spend time trying to get their clothes off..."
Seinfeld
"...I never thought of taking mine off."
Seinfeld
"Hey, get out of here. Daphne's gonna be here."
Seinfeld
"All right, I'm going."
Seinfeld
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