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Clips from Archer - Bloodsploosh (S11E11)

"‐ It's a new microburst ear transmitter."
Archer
"‐ I know, dummy."
Archer
"Why don't I have one in my ear?"
Archer
"‐ Uh, because you're not in tactical command?"
Archer
"‐ But a cocktail waitress is?"
Archer
"That makes zero sense."
Archer
"‐ Ugh. Just..."
Archer
"Pam, come in. Pam: All right, all right."
Archer
"Hold your damn horses."
Archer
"Mr. Hogging‐the‐ring wants some water."
Archer
"‐ And she's drunk. Happy now?"
Archer
"‐ That you have space ears and I don't?"
Archer
"You tell me, Lana."
Archer
"‐ Space ears?"
Archer
"‐ In my coma, we were in space,"
Archer
"and we put that word in front of, like, everything."
Archer
"It was pretty space great."
Archer
"‐ Ugh. I told Malory"
Archer
"bringing you was a bad idea."
Archer
"‐ Oh, why is that? Because it conflicted"
Archer
"with your new life plan to avoid me?"
Archer
"‐ No. Wait, what?"
Archer
"I'm not trying to stay away from you."
Archer
"‐ Please. Staying away is all"
Archer
"you've been doing since the coma, Lana."
Archer
"‐ Oh, that's ridiculous."
Archer
"‐ It's okay. I get it."
Archer
"It's obvious you don't trust yourself around me."
Archer
"‐ [laughs] Wait, what?"
Archer
"Why wouldn't I? ‐ Oh, well,"
Archer
"I'll, uh, give you a hint."
Archer
"The answer rhymes with "my throbbing sexuality.""
Archer
"Pam: A ll right. Glass Joe here is good to go."
Archer
"What's up? ‐ Oh, me?"
Archer
"Just reeling from blunt force sexual imagery."
Archer
"‐ Hey, Lana says"
Archer
"keep the fight going until their signal."
Archer
"You got that?"
Archer
"[dramatic music]"
Archer
"‐ Well, in the hands of a lesser fighter..."
Archer
"‐ Which, compared to me, you totally are."
Archer
"Come on, Cyril. Give mama a turn."
Archer
"‐ Pam, you're drunk. ‐ [laughs]"
Archer
"Since when's that a damn problem?"
Archer
"‐ Mission accomplished."
Archer
"‐ Good. ‐ Oh, wait."
Archer
"Non‐accomplished."
Archer
"‐ What? ‐ "Disaccomplished"?"
Archer
"‐ What happened?"
Archer
"‐ I remembered newbetterCheryl"
Archer
"doesn't drug random people anymore."
Archer
"‐ Oh, just shut up."
Archer
"Clearly, I have to do everything around here."
Archer
"[gentle Chinese music]"
Archer
"Cheryl: Ooh. Don't look now,"
Archer
"but I think a certain someone"
Archer
"is into... Lana: Necrophilia?"
Archer
"My husband's older, not dead."
Archer
"‐ It's the same thing, Lana."
Archer
"Unlike the sex, which we both know"
Archer
"was way better with me."
Archer
"‐ You know, it's hard to call it better"
Archer
"when you hate yourself afterwards."
Archer
"‐ And yet, you kept coming back for more,"
Archer
"thereby proving how irresistible I am."
Archer
"[bell dings] Wait, Lana, shut up."
Archer
"Check it out. Thank you."
Archer
"‐ Hey! What the hell are you doing?"
Archer
"‐ Restoring balance to the universe, Lana."
Archer
"What's it look like?"
Archer
"This is Sterling Archer,"
Archer
"tactical commander, not Lana,"
Archer
"who, side note, is basically begging"
Archer
"to have sex with me right‐‐ow!"
Archer
"‐ Will you just come on?"
Archer
"[dramatic music]"
Archer
"‐ [yells]"
Archer
"‐ The hell kind of girls' prison"
Archer
"did you learn to fight in?"
Archer
"Come on, tag me in."
Archer
"‐ What the‐‐ this isn't pro wrestling!"
Archer
"[yelps]"
Archer
"‐ I must say, your fighter has been quite impressive."
Archer
"‐ He better be."
Archer
"‐ That man he's fighting"
Archer
"usually has a killer right hook,"
Archer
"and that's not a euphemism for anything."
Archer
"People die all the time."
Archer
"Oh, wait. There it is."
Archer
"[cell phone rings]"
Archer
"Oh, sorry. Work."
Archer
"Yhellow."
Archer
"[scoffs] Defective, my ass."
Archer
"Hey, Yuri, try standing on one of those land mines,"
Archer
"and you'll see how not defective they are."
Archer
"Mm, sorry. Where were we?"
Archer
"♪ ♪"
Archer
"[elevator door dings]"
Archer
"‐ So let me get this straight."
Archer
"In your sick little world,"
Archer
"every moment I'm with you,"
Archer
"I'm basically a nanosecond away from ripping off my clothes,"
Archer
"jumping your bones, and ruining my life?"
Archer
"‐ [chuckles] Your words. ‐ Not how that phrase works."
Archer
"‐ Though it's apparently how being obsessed with me works."
Archer
"♪ ♪"
Archer
"[silenced gunshots]"
Archer
"‐ Damn it, Archer! ‐ What?"
Archer
"‐ We don't just go around shooting people anymore."
Archer
"‐ Why not?"
Archer
"‐ Because..."
Archer
"[silenced gunshots]"
Archer
"‐ That's literally 95% of the job."
Archer
"‐ W‐w‐we try to use nonlethal force now."
Archer
"[toilet flushes] ‐ [whistles]"
Archer
"[gasps] [silenced gunshot]"
Archer
"‐ It's called a license to kill, Lana,"
Archer
"not a license to gently subdue."
Archer
"[laughs] ‐ Is this funny to you?"
Archer
"‐ Not you, idiot. [laughs] That."
Archer
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