Search
Search for Clips
Open main menu
Search for Clips
Home
About
Clips
Shows & Movies
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.
Clips from Archer - Archer: 1999 -- Space Pirates (S10E10)
"do you know howto disable a radar system?"
Archer
"- [scoffs] No."
Archer
"- Is this another"fear is hot" thing,"
Archer
"or do you really not know?"
Archer
"Because I sure don't."
Archer
"Ugh, bad captaining! Archer: [laughs]"
Archer
"Mission accomplished."
Archer
"How long should we set the timers for?"
Archer
"- All right, let's see.Uh, Cyril and Cheryl"
Archer
"have to disarm the radar;we all have to get"
Archer
"to the hatch; and I haveto strip this pirate suit off"
Archer
"so the bomb won't blowmy tits off."
Archer
"- And Archer's baby-maker!"
Archer
"- Don't--don't say "baby," Pam,"
Archer
"because you know-- [grunts]"
Archer
"[groans] - Shit!"
Archer
"You set them off! How much time we got?"
Archer
"- Shit, 11 minutes. - Jesus!"
Archer
"Couldn't you have kicked a higher number?"
Archer
"- [coughs] Or, you know, not at all?"
Archer
"- We gotta run. - Yeah, not much of a runner."
Archer
"- Okay, guys, listen up. We have 11 minutes"
Archer
"to get our asses off this ship before it explodes."
Archer
"- Oh, God.If you find terror hot,"
Archer
"I must be gorgeousto you right now."
Archer
"- Yeah. - No, stop!"
Archer
"I shouldn't even be here!I should have been the one"
Archer
"kicking back on the "Seamus" running comms!"
Archer
"- For your information, I've got my hands full."
Archer
"Cyril: Full of what, gin and tonics?"
Archer
"- I don't know what you're talking about."
Archer
"Cyril: We can hear the ice clinking."
Archer
"- No, that's space static."
Archer
"Must be sun spots."
Archer
"- We need you to connect uswith Ray."
Archer
"- He's on a sick day! Cyril: We're going to blow up"
Archer
"in 11 minutes."
Archer
"Archer: Closer to ten. - [sighs]"
Archer
"Hold, please. Ray?"
Archer
"[peaceful music]"
Archer
"Cyril: Ray, thank God. We need your help."
Archer
"- Yeah, kind of in the middle of something."
Archer
"Malory: Ray our surgery pod is not designed"
Archer
"for recreational use."
Archer
"- This is a medical procedure. Malory: Scented candles?"
Archer
"- Is it a crime to want to brighten up my colonoscopy?"
Archer
"I think not. Malory: You said"
Archer
"it wasn't recreational!"
Archer
"- Colorectal cancer's serious business."
Archer
"You should be checked every 10 years after 50."
Archer
"- Ugh, how old are you?"
Archer
"Ray: Or if you have atypical symptoms,"
Archer
"like a change in bowel habits."
Archer
"- Speaking of which,we're in the bowels"
Archer
"of an enemy battle cruiser! - I'll be wearing"
Archer
"my colorectal blue ribbon that says, "I got tested.""
Archer
"Tomorrow, after my sick day. Which you're interrupting."
Archer
"Cheryl: Ugh, we need you to walk us through disabling"
Archer
"a giant spaceship radar system thingy."
Archer
"- But my crisis vest is on Deck 2."
Archer
"Cyril: Ray! - Fine."
Archer
"Let old Ray just interrupt his prescribed"
Archer
"lifesaving medical test to call up"
Archer
"alien battle cruiser schematicson his sick day."
Archer
"Don't suppose you have a ship model number?"
Archer
"Cyril: We're inside the ship, so no."
Archer
"And kind of in a hurry!"
Archer
"- Do you see a blinking green light?"
Archer
"[overlapping beeps]"
Archer
"- We're dead. - [sighs]"
Archer
"Don't you just crave its sweet release?"
Archer
"- Okay, sending you the disarming protocols...now."
Archer
"- Thanks, Ray,you're a lifesaver."
Archer
"You're--God damn it, Ray."
Archer
"Is this a pictureof your colon?"
Archer
"- Aww. - Sorry."
Archer
"This wine might be mixing with my propofol."
Archer
"I do see why this is addictive."
Archer
"Cyril: We only have eight minutes!"
Archer
"- Don't get your panties in a bunch."
Archer
"[keys tapping]"
Archer
"Also, do you see any polyps?"
Archer
"- Lana, how is it possible"
Archer
"you wanna give all this upfor diapers?"
Archer
"- I don't know, maybe because I don't need"
Archer
"to play two-bit space cowboy"
Archer
"just because I'm scared of commitment."
Archer
"- How dare you speakprecisely the truth at me."
Archer
"- Hey, guys!Wait up!"
Archer
"- You used to be fun."
Archer
"Now you wantto do not-fun stuff"
Archer
"like settling down."
Archer
"Well, I got newsfor you, sister."
Archer
"- Don't say that, ever."
Archer
"- Settling is for potato chips.- Oh, God, Archer."
Archer
"Will you stop treating me like some baby-crazy cliché"
Archer
"of maternal desire? [gasps]"
Archer
"[cats mewing]"
Archer
"Aww, look at them!"
Archer
"- Oh, come on, Lana."
Archer
"[gasps] Space ocelots."
Archer
"- Actually, they're called"grimalkians.""
Archer
"- Shut your mouth, Pam."
Archer
"That is a goddamn space ocelot."
Archer
"- Ah, son of a bitch. - [laughs]"
Archer
"You're a real natural. - I've seen these before."
Archer
"A shithead ex of minehad one as a pet."
Archer
"I think they're endangered. - No doubt the Dri'n"
Archer
"stole them to sell their fur to illegal traders."
Archer
"- Yeah, this ex was an illegaltrader, so that all tracks."
Archer
"- Shit, we've only got seven minutes"
Archer
"to get off this death star-- lowercase "D," lowercase "S"--"
Archer
"and back to the "Seamus" beforewe explode in a million pieces."
Archer
"- No, we can't blow up the shipwith them onboard."
Archer
"They'll go extinct. - I'll watch anything"
Archer
"that asshole loved burn."
Archer
"- [baby talk] Just look how adorable they are."
Archer
"Ow! - [laughs]"
Archer
"Guys, look at this!They love me!"
Archer
"It's like I'm their king!"
Archer
Show more clips
« Previous
Next »
Showing
241
to
360
of
542
results
1
2
3
4
5