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Clips from Archer - Archer: 1999 -- Space Pirates (S10E10)

"- Doesn't someone need to be proposing"
Archer
"before you're engaging?"
Archer
"- Not en-- - [laughs]"
Archer
"She totally disarmedyour phrase."
Archer
"So what's our plan when"
Archer
"these shitty voicechangers don't work?"
Archer
"Krieger: I can hear you. - Well, I picked up"
Archer
"some phrases banging a pirate or two."
Archer
"Here's how to say, "Faster, harder.""
Archer
"- Because that'll come in handy."
Archer
"- [ugly guttural sounds]"
Archer
"Now you try it. [all grunting]"
Archer
"- No, it's more like-- you know the sound you make"
Archer
"after letting out a fartyou've been holding in all day?"
Archer
"- Oh, please. You've never held in a fart"
Archer
"in your life. - Tough but fair."
Archer
"Lana: Like now, Pam. Now would have been"
Archer
"a great time to hold it in."
Archer
"Pam: [grunting in Dri'n]"
Archer
"Archer: [laughs] I have--I have no idea"
Archer
"what she said, but it just sounds funny."
Archer
"[metal crashing]"
Archer
"Lana: Jesus, Cyril, watch the landing."
Archer
"You gotta slide it in there gently."
Archer
"Pam: [grunting]"
Archer
"[muffled bang]"
Archer
"- You are a terrible pilot."
Archer
"- You put me on a job that's not my specialty."
Archer
"That's bad captaining. - Co-captaining."
Archer
"- Oh, now you share the credit?- Fine."
Archer
"I should have assigned Cyril to his specialty of, uh--"
Archer
"what is your specialty again? Space accounting?"
Archer
"- You're putting "space" in front of it"
Archer
"to make it extra silly, but it's actually"
Archer
"really an important part of running a ship."
Archer
"[pirates grunting]"
Archer
"- That was quick."
Archer
"- [speaking Dri'n]"
Archer
"- He's asking... [gunfire]"
Archer
"[bodies thud]"
Archer
"[sighs] He was just asking"
Archer
"where we got these human costumes, but..."
Archer
"- Oh, thank Godyou're here, Cyril."
Archer
"You're so quick on the draw."
Archer
"- My blaster got stuck in its holster."
Archer
"- I can help with that. - Stop it!"
Archer
"Unwanted advance in the workplace."
Archer
"- Take it up withthe Dri'n pirate HR."
Archer
"- Get those uniforms onand put in your voice changers."
Archer
"More pirates will be coming."
Archer
"- On my tits. What?"
Archer
"- Do you even have tits?"
Archer
"- They're retractable."
Archer
"- [sighs] Now, where is that mainframe?"
Archer
"This ship has zero Feng Shui."
Archer
"[door hisses]"
Archer
"Whoa."
Archer
"There's gotta be a switch to get a laser bridge"
Archer
"or something."
Archer
"Why people build dangerous ravines"
Archer
"in spaceships is beyond me."
Archer
"[hollering]"
Archer
"[gasping] You gotta warn me next time!"
Archer
"We almost--and that hook is not secure!"
Archer
"How do you even know the mainframe is on this side?"
Archer
"- Oh, I don't."
Archer
"I just find terrorkind of hot, you know?"
Archer
"- I do not know."
Archer
"Not to mention the woman swinging the man across"
Archer
"is totally... [yelling] emasculating!"
Archer
"Shit balls!"
Archer
"- Guys, remember, place them"
Archer
"on the structural beams for maximum impact."
Archer
"- I need more. I'm missing a testicle."
Archer
"- What the hell are you doing? - What's the big deal?"
Archer
"It's thermite; throw it anywhere,"
Archer
"it's gonna blow up the ship."
Archer
"- I'm not letting youwaste thermite."
Archer
"- Give me the thermite."
Archer
"- God damn it, Archer. - [laughing] Uh-oh."
Archer
"It was an accident. Yeah, it was flirty horseplay."
Archer
"- These aren't toys. - Your boobs?"
Archer
"- Because I beg to differ. - It's stuck."
Archer
"Krieger, how do you peel off these thermite charges?"
Archer
"Krieger: Oh, no worries there.- Oh, good."
Archer
"Krieger: It's a super polymer. Can't be removed or disarmed."
Archer
"- I thought they would peel offlike air fresheners."
Archer
"They look like air fresheners.Just take your shirt off, then."
Archer
"- I'm not wearing a shirt or bra under this."
Archer
"- Oh, I noticed. - We all noticed."
Archer
"Is it for the pirates?"
Archer
"Because they do not make good husbands, Lana."
Archer
"- I am not trying to get a pirate husband."
Archer
"This ship has no ACand pirate garb isn't exactly--"
Archer
"oh, shit."
Archer
"[all speaking Dri'n]"
Archer
"- Hey! [both laughing]"
Archer
"- Huh, it actually worked."
Archer
"- Almost like Krieger knows what he was doing."
Archer
"- I'm sorry, Lana. He'll never be a space cowboy."
Archer
"Now, let's blow up this ship-- - Without blowing my tits off."
Archer
"- Give me one more. I need to finish my testicle."
Archer
"- Here. - Seriously?"
Archer
"- Guys, even for methis is getting childish."
Archer
"Malory: Don't mention children."
Archer
"Lana will smear her mascara."
Archer
"- Eavesdropping and lobbing insults is not running comms."
Archer
"I knew I should have done the assigning,"
Archer
"because everyone you picked is spectacularly wrong"
Archer
"for the job."
Archer
"Cyril: See, this is what I'm talking about."
Archer
"Why would they put the mainframe"
Archer
"right next door to the mess?"
Archer
"The heat would be hellon the data core."
Archer
"- What, did you read that in your"
Archer
"spaceship architecture magazine?"
Archer
"- You mean"Starchitectural Digest"?"
Archer
"Yes.Shall we get to work?"
Archer
"[panels beeping]"
Archer
"Um..."
Archer
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