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Clips from 10-Year-Old-Tom - The Principal is Banging My Mom/Elderly Gerbil (S01E01)

"- You know what? I'm calling it off,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"because she's a handful anyway. Thank you for swinging by,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"because you're doing me a favor."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hey, look who it is. - I have to break it off."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, yes, I agree. This is great."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You're not upset at all?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I found out what grade school principals make."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Heh, you make less than an average plumber."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay, I'm not dirt poor, but--"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I mean, you're pretty poor. See ya!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, me and Nelson are gonna play"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"a little one-on-one while you guys watch."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hector gonna do the play-by-play."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That's just the way it's gonna be."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Ah! Percussion! Start right now."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Can I get a low tat-tat-tat-tat?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- We've really come a long way"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"from the pencil request, I've got to say."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- We're two kings right now about to make history."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Here we go! [whistle blows]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What a match up."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Two legends in basketball going head to head,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"where us losers get to watch the best game of their lives?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"What?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Attention, everybody."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I have a quick announcement."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Some fake VIP passes have been floating around,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"so if any idiots come up to you"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and say they should get special treatment,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"please tell them to shut up. Have a nice day."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, let's play!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[students chattering]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Well, fun while it lasted, I guess."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Wait, wait, wait, wait. What happens now?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Just be regular ten-year-old kids, I guess."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Aw, man. We're falling on hard times."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- ♪ Let's get it on now ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ I like it when you move it ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[flute playing softly]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- As we say goodbye to sweet George,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"let's remember the better days when he would sit in his bowl,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and kinda blink. Guy loved to blink, didn't he?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- He loved to blink. Yes, he did."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Nelson, why don't you do the honors"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and shove all of his personal belongings down the toilet?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- It's not going down. - Use your foot."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm not putting my foot in your toilet, Tom."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Nelson, put your foot in the toilet."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"It's a funeral. Show some respect."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- My mom would kill me if I ruin these socks."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, fine. I'll do it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Don't splash, man! You're splashing me!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's going on here?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Mom, we're giving George a funeral."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- George died?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"We got him three days ago, Tom. He cost 12 bucks."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Excuse me. Sorry."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Should I keep playing the flute through this part?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Keep playing. It's beaut-- it's really beautiful."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Dakota, take it away from your mouth."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Dakota, please. - Dakota, no more."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, my God. This is the worst funeral ever."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- The funeral's off 'cause we're going to the pet store"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and we're gonna get our money back."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Nelson, get her out."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Nelson, don't. - Ow!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, my God. Stop. Don't. Give me the fish."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Give it. - What is happening here?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Other than putting your foot in the toilet,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"this was a very tasteful ceremony."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[door closes]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[cat yowls]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[upbeat '80s music plays]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hi, we came here and we were sold a faulty fish."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"And, uh, the fish passed."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"So if you just want to credit that back to the credit card"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"or give us some cash."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Sorry, can't do it. - What's this?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Can I interest you in a new fish?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- New fish? No. - We need a full refund."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yeah, here's the thing."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"The fish was healthy three days ago."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"He was swimming. He was happy. Now he's been whacked."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Whacked? - Hang on!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Are you trying to say my son murdered George?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- As corporate policy, we don't say "murder" but yes,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I believe your son murdered the fish."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I found the body. No one's denying that."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- How dare you say my son, Tom--"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Your son is standing there, ma'am,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"with a blank expression on his face."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"That's what murderers do."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- His face is always blank. He's a thinker."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Is--is there a problem over here?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- This "lady"-- - What? Lady in quotes?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Is trying to return a dead fish?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"And she's giving me loads of"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"'tude because I'm not having it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, calm down. Thanks, Casey. I've got this."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Sorry you're upset"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and I apologize for what just happened."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I'm not gonna try to sell you another fish."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay, thank you."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- But what are your feelings on gerbils?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- No, there's no way I'm spending more money."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Come on, Mom. He's so cute. - [sighs]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yeah, come on, Mom. Come on, Mom."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh. We can't afford it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh. I guess you don't love me?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, no, Tom. Do not make sad Tom face."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You're still a good mom. Some mothers just care"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"about money more than their child's happiness."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[gerbil squeaking] - Fine!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"What's the cheapest gerbil you've got?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That would be a senior gerbil for $75."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- $75? Are you out of your mind?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm not. Casey has issues, but I'm doing fine."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Ugh. You know what? Fine. Wrap him up."
10-Year-Old-Tom
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