Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from 10-Year-Old-Tom - The Principal is Banging My Mom/Elderly Gerbil (S01E01)

"- ♪ Now as our poor young lungs deflate ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ I'll admit I've gotten older ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Mellowed out, chatting up those I used to hate ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ The feeling that we're lost will always fade ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ I present no explanations ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Can't expect our tired patience ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ To satiate for long ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Therein lies a truth we can sip when we want ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Disciples of the flow, we can float anywhere ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[bell rings]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Kids, I've graded your mid-term exams."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Some of you performed atrociously,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"while others stepped up quite well."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- B-minus?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, don't be mad, Tom, it was a hard test."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Mad? I'm ecstatic."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I've never gotten a B-minus in my life!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, well. Congratulations, then."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, my God, I'm gonna dance. I can't control myself."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- My man! I knew you could do it, baby!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I've never been this happy in my life. I got a B-minus!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[feedback squeaks] - Attention, students."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I'm sorry to interrupt, but this is very urgent."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Tom, I need to see you now."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Kind of puts a damper on the B-minus dance."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Get up right now and go, go, go, go."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Run towards my office!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hey, Principal, I ran down the hall."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"What's going on? - Tom, it's about your mother."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- My mom? What do you mean? Is she okay?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Are you kidding me?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"She's better than okay. She's on fire."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Wait. I'm not following. What?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm attracted to your mom, and I've been watching her"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"for years at PTA meetings, at bake sales."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I sat in my car, I got aroused."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm not sure this was an urgent matter."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Well, it's urgent for me. I need a favor."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay. - When you get home, I want you"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"to try to casually weave my name into the conversation."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Just casually weave it in? - Casually. Something like,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I don't know, "The principal's got a great personality."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Hey, ever notice his tush, Mom?""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That's not gonna sound natural."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"When I get home, I usually just say, "When's dinner?""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tom, you owe me. - Do I?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- How do you think you got a B-minus?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hard work? - I pulled strings, okay?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Wait, you're saying it's a fake grade?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yeah. - Oh, this is really going to"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"a dark place here."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Not if you know how the world works,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"it's not dark, Tom."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"But the most important thing is"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"please keep this between us."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Why? - Well, the school frowns"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"upon--they almost over-frown upon principals"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"hitting on moms."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- My son got a B-minus? - Yeah, it's no big deal."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- This is amazing!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yeah, enough about me, though."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I couldn't be more proud."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Uh, anyway, on an unrelated note,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I just overheard some of the moms talking at school."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"They really seem to think the principal is hot."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Excuse me? - The principal."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"They seem to think he's got--"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"uh, what was the phrase? Cute buns or a--"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Cute buns? - Hot tush."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- So a lot of butt talk about the principal."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- It was a lot of different stuff."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"They got into the personality, the fun sense of humor."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Mm-kay. - I don't know why"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I focused on the--on the butt comments,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"but it was a lot of positive talk, is all."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Did the principal tell you to talk to me about his body?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You know what? I think the guy likes you,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"so do--do what you will with it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- He likes me?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Wow, this day keeps getting better."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, it's a good thing? - Guess what."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"The guy's a principal"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"of a school. - Okay."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- This guy can declare snow days."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"He can order textbooks in bulk."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"He can have bike racks installed wherever he wants."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I don't know if that's considered powerful."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- If I can upgrade from plumber to principal,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"we're back in business. - Really?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You tell him I'm in. - All right. Great."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Even if it gets weird. Even if he's into some kink."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Like, whatever kind of date he wants to go on, I'm in."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'll just say you're in."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[classy music plays]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Excuse me. When you get a chance,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"could we get some, uh,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"water from the sink, and is all the bread free?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Uh, yes, sir. All the bread is free."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[crunching]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- And I know you brought us butter."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"If I asked for extra butter, is that free, too?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yeah, that's free also, sir. [crunching]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay, thank you very much."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay. [chuckles]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"He's being silly and hilarious."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"We're gonna take the seafood tower"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and your classiest wine,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"'cause I am on a date with a principal."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- [chuckles] What do you think principals make?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Well, more than my jackass husband used to make."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Let's get some photos, make him jealous,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"show him how good I'm doing. - Oh, no, no, no, no."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"If this gets out, I will lose my job."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- No one's gonna see it. Hey, waiter! Come over."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You're gonna get some pictures of us. Okay?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay. - I'm gonna lay on the table."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"He's gonna undo his shirt, and I'm gonna put lobster"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"on his bare skin and eat it off of his skin."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I don't like to do that. - Oh, okay."
10-Year-Old-Tom
Show more clips