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Clips from 10-Year-Old-Tom - The Principal is Banging My Mom/Elderly Gerbil (S01E01)

"- Oh, geez. - Okay!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, that's inappropriate."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay, baby bird some lobster into my mouth."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay. [chuckles uncomfortably]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[dramatic tone]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What have I done? Oh, this is not good."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Principal? Is that you? - Oh, Tom!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Oh, my God. It's so funny seeing you here."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- It's my house. This is my kitchen."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yeah, I just didn't expect to see ya--"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Why are you here? - I stopped by"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"to go over your grades with your mother."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Is that my dad's shirt? - Oh, that?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I spilled coffee on my shirt this morning."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"And I--"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Tom, I'm gonna--I'm gonna level with you."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I didn't think this thing"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"with your mom was gonna escalate so fast."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay. - I mean, your mom's"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"a wonderful woman, but she's a maniac."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That's a lot to take in."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tom...I'm schtupping your mother."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Schtup? What is that? - We-we you know."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Flippity flip, floppity flop."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Look, I don't know how to say it in--in a--"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Does it have to do with pancakes or what are you--?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tom, the important thing is that no can know about this."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"If this word gets out, I'm done."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, so what do you want me to do?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Promise me you'll keep it our secret and I will give you"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"anything you want at school. You name it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Anything? - Anything."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Literally anything?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Literally anything."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Just anything, anything I want?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Just say it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- How about, uh, free pencils"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and some kind of, uh, pouch to keep them in?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Done. - Really?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yes. - That's amazing."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Aw, look at my two guys."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Tom, get on his lap."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Principal, you feed him some pancakes."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"We-we need to stick it"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"to my ex-husband and to Tina the slut."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- This doesn't feel right at all."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Let's just get it over with."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[camera shutter clicks]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Free pencils? - How sweet is that?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Man, this guy is throwing rod in your mom"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and all you asked for was free pencils?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All I asked for? I'm never going to need a pencil again."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Come on, man! You need to think big."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"With a secret like that, you could ask for anything."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right. I mean, I guess we could try"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"escalating this a bit. - Nelson's right."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, boy. Here we go."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- With blackmail, you basically own the person."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Own them? - In grown-up terms, Tom,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"you could say he's your bitch now."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Please don't curse on the bus."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Guys, how do you think I got"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"this sweet bus driving gig?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You didn't just apply? - Blackmail."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh. - Got nude pics"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"of the bus dispatch guy. - Henry?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That's how I have job security."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I can do whatever I want."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm tempted to say, can we see them?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- He's sucking his own dick, guys."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh! Hey, hey, hey! Whoa. - Whoa."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Wow. - We've got to start sitting"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"further back on the bus."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[bell rings]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hey there, big boss man."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, wow. Is this peppermint?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Don't mind if I do."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right. First of all, put the peppermints down!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"And you guys don't just come running in here like that."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Do you even have an appointment?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Appointment? - We're not appointment guys."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Listen, I know what's what."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Tom told me you's banging his mom"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and you offered him pencils."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You offered my man pencils? - Are you joking?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Sorry, I crack under pressure."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I told him. - This is outrageous."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- We would like to leverage this to our advantage."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yeah, we want to, um, do"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"a little blackmail type thing."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- We've got a list of demands."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- This is ridiculous!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"A VIP card that gets you out of trouble?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Laminated. - Two recesses per day?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Great. And I have to read an anti-Hector announcement,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"oh, that you guys write?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That's it. - Come on, I can't do this."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Who's the principal now, bitch?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Wow. - All right, all right."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"That's too much. I know we have power now,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"but that was crossing the line."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[door opens]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Um, may I ask why you two aren't in class?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You may not. Talk to the VIP note."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, my God."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[feedback squeaks] - All right, guys."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I have an announcement"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"that I have to read to you."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Hector is stupid. - What?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Thank you. I'm telling you"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"because if I don't, nobody else will."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[bell rings] - Come on, wrap it up."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Recess is over."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Actually, we're gonna double dip."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Double dip? - Double decker recess,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"whatever you want to call it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You have a problem, talk to the principal."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- ♪ Let's get it on now ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, we are living. I'm having a great time."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Wow, I'm having a good time too."
10-Year-Old-Tom
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