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Clips from That '70s Show - The Keg (S01E01)

"Right, that's why Donna left with all the plastic cups."
That '70s Show
"- Plastic cups? - Sure, plastic volcano cups."
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"If I didn't know better, I'd say they were having a kegger."
That '70s Show
"Oh, jeez!"
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"Let's go, Bob."
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"Rich Man, Poor Man, I love it."
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"I just hope I don't get too emotional."
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"So do I."
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"Those kids could be anywhere."
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"Needle, meet haystack."
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"Look, they left the house in a wood-paneled ocean liner."
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"We should be able to find them."
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"Yep, it's a real asphalt jungle out here."
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"The sun goes down, the rats come out."
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"I lost my mailbox last year."
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"Yeah, you know what it is? The evil spilling over from Sheboygan."
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"How many stories do you suppose there are in this naked burg?"
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"Eight, Bob. There are eight."
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"Michael, this is our secret make-out place."
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"I did not swipe the key from my mother's real estate office..."
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"so that you could have a party."
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"I know it's like a bonus."
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"And I'm doing it for you, baby."
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"Okay."
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"Empty pool, empty house, full keg."
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"You sure know how to show a girl a good time."
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"Yeah, I don't color outside the lines often..."
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"but when I do, jump back, Loretta."
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"I don't care when you ate, Fez, get in the pool now."
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"If I get a cramp, it will be on your head."
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"Okay."
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"Hurry up and drink your keg."
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"Hurry up and drink a keg?"
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"Jackie, will you just mellow out?"
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"I mean, this rules. We've got a keg, and soon everybody's gonna be here."
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"- Everybody? - Everybody who matters."
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"And for the first time, Jackie, that includes you."
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"No, get away from me!"
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"You heard her, let's drink beer."
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"- Me first. - No way, I spotted it."
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"No, I saw it, too, I just didn't say anything."
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"You saw a keg and you didn't say anything? Back of the line."
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"All right, how do you get the beer out?"
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"- Through the tap. - What tap?"
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"No!"
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"Okay, we really need a tap here."
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"I got my Swiss army knife."
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"Great, we can whittle the beer out."
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"All right, look, they sell taps at the liquor store."
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"Yeah, and who's got the money to buy it?"
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"Why would I bring money to our secret make-out place, Michael?"
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"Okay, I've got my gas money."
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"No, Eric, we're not going to take your gas money."
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"It doesn't matter."
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"By the end of the night, we'll have made over $200."
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"Yeah."
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"Michael, how are we gonna make $200?"
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"I don't know."
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"Who's buying the tap? You buy, I'll fly."
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"No, Michael, you are... Michael, come back here!"
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"Michael, I'm talking to you. Michael!"
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"Welcome to the pool. I am your host, Fez."
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"$2, please."
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"What is going on?"
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"I didn't want to tell you before..."
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"but we've taken it upon ourselves to help your mom..."
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"show off the house at $2 a head."
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"He's lying to Jackie, man."
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"I lie to Jackie."
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"You know, it seems to me that the scrawny little neighbor boy..."
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"is willing to engage in criminal acts for that saucy redhead next door."
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"Shut up. How do you know he's not doing it to impress his friends?"
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"You know, peer pressure."
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"Because his friends aren't saucy."
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"Kelso's saucy."
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"Kelso? Please, I'm saucier than Kelso."
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"Then the door burst open wide"
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"And my daddy stepped inside"
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"And he kissed my mama's face"
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"And he brushed her tears away"
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"The night Chicago died"
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"Would you turn that damn thing off?"
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"Keep your eyes peeled for that Vista Cruiser."
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"Okey dokey."
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"Sorry."
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"I see you've got some new steins here."
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"Hi, I'm 25."
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"I know I look young, but my dad asked me to come down here..."
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"and pick up a tap for his keg."
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"And he's 43, so we're both legal. No problem there."
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"I'm not going to be drinking the beer or anything."
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"'Cause I don't believe in it but no offense to you."
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"- I think selling liquor is a great thing. - Yeah, here you go."
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"Yeah."
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"- Because I'm 25, right? - Because you've got money."
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"- Yeah, but I am 25. - Don't need to be. Can't drink a tap."
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"No, I can prove it you. I got my IDs out in the wallet."
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"Happens all the time. Take care."
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"Yeah, but I... Leave, now."
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"Yeah."
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"Kelshmo. Whatcha got there?"
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"Boy, that was really funny..."
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"what you did with my name, Kelshmo. I gotta go."
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"I believe this is yours."
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"- You broke his thing. - And you gave it back."
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"- Yeah, that was great! - Yeah!"
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"So you see what I'm saying about the poor man?"
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"Yes, you have made your point. Many times."
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"He's a bad boy, he's had some rough breaks..."
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"but he isn't bad in his soul."
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"Okay. Enough daiquiris for you."
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"Kitty, what do you look for in a man?"
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"I'm married. I'm kind of through looking."
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"Kitty, you can always look. It helps you to fantasize."
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"Like. Some nights, I'm doing the news with Walter Cronkite."
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"Okay, I'm just..."
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"You know, I'm gonna finish your daiquiri."
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"- It's broken. - I got duct tape."
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"Duct tape? Do you know how much pressure runs through that tap?"
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"I got a whole roll of duct tape."
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