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Clips from That '70s Show - The Keg (S01E01)

"Will this day ever end?"
That '70s Show
"Yesterday did. But today's Friday. So, no."
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"God, it's Destroy and Giveback."
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"- Yeah, why do they call them that? - You're about to find out."
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"Hey, Foreplay."
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"I believe this is yours."
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"- You broke his pencil. That was great! - And you gave it back."
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"All right, enough horseplay."
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"Pipe down."
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"I said, pipe down!"
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"Now, I've got an announcement before study hall."
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"Whoever burned their initials in the football field..."
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"I hope you're happy with yourself, punk."
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"There will be no football practice today until we've reseeded."
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"And I've watched that team, I'm not impressed, boy."
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"Let me tell you, they need all the practice they can get."
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"On a happier note..."
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"Eric?"
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"Donna?"
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"Do you need something to do?"
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"Actually, we need to be excused."
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"Donna and I are taking pictures for the yearbook."
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"Yeah."
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"If you say so, Eric."
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"You wouldn't lie."
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"Well, I might."
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"This is great. Eric Forman skips class."
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"Yeah, danger is my middle name."
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"Why are we moving?"
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"Mommy. What are you guys doing in here?"
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"What are you guys doing in here?"
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"I cut class."
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"What, was there like a fire drill or something?"
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"No, look, I do bad things."
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"Look, I've ditched class before."
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"Is Opie getting angry?"
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"What did I tell you about calling me Opie?"
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"Opie, look out for that keg in the middle of the road!"
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"Wow!"
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"It is a keg."
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"Of beer."
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"It must be a sign."
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"Of beer."
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"That's it, I'm cutting class every day!"
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"Hanging out"
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"Down the street"
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"The same old thing"
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"We did last week"
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"Not a thing to do"
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"But talk to you"
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"Whoa, yeah"
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"Hello, Wisconsin!"
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"How did you find it?"
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"We were driving down the road, man, and there she was."
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"It was a beer in the headlights."
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"That is my first American joke."
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"How often do you find a mysterious keg of free beer?"
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"Only once in a while."
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"You're right, Forman. Man, you are absolutely right."
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"- When God gives you a keg, you've gotta... - Kill a virgin."
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"No."
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"Throw a party."
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"Whoa!"
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"Go for it, Eric."
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"Yeah, we'll throw a party. Gonna charge $2 a head."
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"$2 a head."
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"A keg is equivalent to seven cases, that's 168 beers."
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"If we each drink three beers a piece..."
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"- No way, sophomores gonna drink one. - True."
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"Yeah, and the freshmen will only drink a half."
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"So that averages out to 1.5 beers per person..."
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"which means we can invite 112 people. That's $224."
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"Cash."
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"Which is decent."
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"Okay, grab some ice out of the deep freeze, I'll grab the tub."
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"That is one sweet mama."
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"Yeah."
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"Hey, gang."
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"Don't mind me."
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"Just came down to do an emergency presoak..."
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"on my nurses' uniform."
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"You remember Mr. Wilbur, the fireman?"
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"He came in today with a sebaceous cyst..."
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"which is a pocket of fluid..."
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"that's kind of like a pusy bath oil bead under your skin."
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"And you think it's solid, but if you take an instrument..."
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"and you pierce the core..."
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"and then you apply pressure with your thumb..."
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"Hi, snicklefritz, what are you doing with the tub?"
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"The tub."
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"We were just working on a class project."
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"We're making a volcano..."
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"snicklefritz."
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"Out of ice? I think it might melt."
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"You heard her let's move it, gang."
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"Okay, have fun."
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"- Guys, we've got to get the keg out of here. - Where are we having the party?"
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"Beats me. If you guys need me I'll be with Jackie..."
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"over at our secret make-out place."
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"- Secret make-out place. - It's this vacant house over on Sherman."
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"I mean, this place is great. It's totally private."
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"I mean, you can get away with about anything there."
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"So, if you guys find a place for that keg, let me know."
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"I've got an idea!"
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"That's a Sylvania, isn't it, Red?"
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"You didn't buy that in my store, did you?"
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"No, Bob, I, got a good deal on it."
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"You got me."
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"You got me, Red. Yeah."
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"Well, I am just so excited."
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"Rich Man, Poor Man."
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"I missed the first episode."
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"Here's the irony of the show, Kitty, the rich, safe guy is boring."
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"It's the poor, rugged one, played by the very talented Nick Nolte..."
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"who is so exciting."
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"Super. Now, who would like a drink?"
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"Let's do daiquiris."
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"I don't know if we have enough ice. Eric took a whole tub full."
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"He took a tub of ice?"
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"The kids are making a volcano."
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