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Clips from That '70s Show - The Keg (S01E01)

"I can't work like this."
That '70s Show
"Forman, you need to get your dad's tap now."
That '70s Show
"My dad doesn't have a tap."
That '70s Show
"Red's got bicentennial swizzle sticks."
That '70s Show
"He's got fake lemons with real lemon juice. He's got toothpicks shaped like swords."
That '70s Show
"Red Forman is a cocktail dad."
That '70s Show
"And cocktail dads have beer taps."
That '70s Show
"Yeah, come on, Eric, we never ask you for anything."
That '70s Show
"You guys ask me for everything."
That '70s Show
"So, what's one more thing?"
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"No, forget it. I've done enough today already."
That '70s Show
"Count me out."
That '70s Show
"Hey, Kelshmo, what, your tap is broken?"
That '70s Show
"Why'd you do something stupid like buy a stupid, broken tap?"
That '70s Show
"What are you stupid?"
That '70s Show
"It wasn't broken until you broke it."
That '70s Show
"Man."
That '70s Show
"Don't beat yourself up. You had no way of knowing."
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"- Anyways, we gave it back. - Yeah, broken."
That '70s Show
"Lay off him, all right? He feels bad enough already."
That '70s Show
"- He should because he's a moron. - What did you say?"
That '70s Show
"I said that you're both morons."
That '70s Show
"What are you going to do? You're gonna beat me up?"
That '70s Show
"What, you weigh 400 pounds together? It doesn't matter."
That '70s Show
"The fact is that the tap is broken and it's your fault."
That '70s Show
"Morons."
That '70s Show
"You are so rude."
That '70s Show
"Give us our $4 back. Okay. Fez."
That '70s Show
"Familiar?"
That '70s Show
"Wow, Eric, you just tore their money."
That '70s Show
"And gave it back. That was great."
That '70s Show
"That was awesome."
That '70s Show
"But enough of this levity, wench!"
That '70s Show
"We came here to have a party..."
That '70s Show
"and as God is my witness, there will be a party!"
That '70s Show
"Nope, I haven't sold a keg all day, but a young guy did come in for a tap."
That '70s Show
"Young guy..."
That '70s Show
"Look, they got Pina Colada in a can."
That '70s Show
"- Bob! We're doing something here. - All right."
That '70s Show
"You know, I might have heard something about a party."
That '70s Show
"Can't recall."
That '70s Show
"Maybe Andrew Jackson could remind me."
That '70s Show
"Andrew Jackson?"
That '70s Show
"He's not in."
That '70s Show
"But Abe Lincoln's hanging out with the Washington twins."
That '70s Show
"Would they have any knowledge of the festivities?"
That '70s Show
"So, a real wisenheimer, huh?"
That '70s Show
"Well, let's see how smart you are when I snap off your head!"
That '70s Show
"Okay, man."
That '70s Show
"They said something about a vacant house on Sherman."
That '70s Show
"I know that place. It's the vacant house on Sherman."
That '70s Show
"Good work, Starsky."
That '70s Show
"Let's roll."
That '70s Show
"Everybody in the deep end! My mother is showing the house!"
That '70s Show
"- Now? - People work."
That '70s Show
"Okay, quiet down, everybody."
That '70s Show
"The deck is new..."
That '70s Show
"and this lovely tile walkway leads directly to the pool..."
That '70s Show
"Which is filled with some of the local kids."
That '70s Show
"Heavily Caucasian."
That '70s Show
"It's a nice neighborhood."
That '70s Show
"Sometimes Bob pretends he's poor. I call him Buster."
That '70s Show
"He knocks on the door, and I answer it in my teddy."
That '70s Show
"And he says, "Does the rich lady need any help around the house?""
That '70s Show
"And I say, "I know a something that needs attending to..."
That '70s Show
""in the bedroom.""
That '70s Show
"I'll spare you the intimate details..."
That '70s Show
"but it ends in whoopee."
That '70s Show
"You know, this is as much fun to make..."
That '70s Show
"as it is to eat."
That '70s Show
"You know, speaking of which, how do you get Bob to play those games?"
That '70s Show
"I have a reward system."
That '70s Show
"You know, sometimes Red would wear a sailor's uniform."
That '70s Show
"Really? Yeah, but he was in the Navy."
That '70s Show
"Kitty."
That '70s Show
"Does he still have his sailor's uniform?"
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"No."
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"Just has the hat."
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"I stole my dad's tap..."
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"back from those thieves."
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"- We were worried sick. - You had us driving all over town."
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"We missed Rich Man, Poor Man."
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"- Excuse us, Red. - What are you doing?"
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"- We're just gonna grab this keg... - Get out of here!"
That '70s Show
"- We're not finished with this. - Neither are we."
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"Now, you take her home and you wait for me. That's an order."
That '70s Show
"Ditto."
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"Come here."
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"I can't stay mad at you with that cute face."
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"Get your ugly butt home."
That '70s Show
"My dad's gonna kill me."
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"You're always saying that."
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"Yeah, this time he's gonna kill me."
That '70s Show
"I mean, I cut class..."
That '70s Show
"I trespassed, I had stolen beer..."
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"and then I swung into a pool full of cops on a garden hose..."
That '70s Show
"carrying my dad's tap."
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"Yeah, that was so cool."
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"Really?"
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"Really."
That '70s Show
"You looked dangerous."
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"Did I mention that I killed a guy in algebra?"
That '70s Show
"Good night, killer."
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"Bring it on, Red."
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"I love that boy."
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"- Eric's a good kid. - And that Donna's real sweet, too."
That '70s Show
"Man, that Donna's real hot."
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"- That's my daughter. - I'm just saying that..."
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"- I know what you're saying. - All right, Bob, it's time to go."
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"- We'll just take the... - Get out of here!"
That '70s Show
"All right."
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"Fine."
That '70s Show