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Clips from Archer - The Archer Sanction (S06E06)

"It's mother's fault anyway, Lana,"
Archer
"you're obviously the one she should've --"
Archer
"What? Mother--"
Archer
"Hey, it's me, quick question --"
Archer
"Let me guess --"
Archer
"Oh, how's A.J.? Because if the rash came back,"
Archer
"what she needs to -- Shut up, please?"
Archer
"Although actually yes, how is A.J.?"
Archer
"That's why you called?"
Archer
"Uh, no, actually I'm calling because --"
Archer
"You haven't the foggiest idea"
Archer
"what it is you're supposed to be doing."
Archer
"Ugh, I know what, mother, I just don't know--"
Archer
"Let me speak to Lana."
Archer
"- Who? - Lana!"
Archer
"No, I meant -- Sterling, let me speak to--"
Archer
"No! Because you're gonna tell her she's agent-in-command,"
Archer
"so that when she's not pathetically trying to make me jealous"
Archer
"by hitting on this idiot beard-face sweater-model,"
Archer
"she's gonna lord it over me and Ray,"
Archer
"who, by the way, forgot to bring gum!"
Archer
"Are you finished?"
Archer
"- Yes. - Good, because..."
Archer
"The voice mailbox of..."
Archer
"Elaborate voicemail hoax"
Archer
"is full."
Archer
"Goodbye."
Archer
"Huh. I guess you had that coming."
Archer
"Wh-? How so? Gimme that..."
Archer
"And if I wanted to make you jealous--"
Archer
"What?"
Archer
"Shut up. Let me talk to Malory."
Archer
"Make me, and also hang on."
Archer
"What the stupid shit are you doing?"
Archer
"You said you wanted watermelon!"
Archer
"Watermelon's red?"
Archer
"Wh-? Yes! How do you not know that?"
Archer
"Who am I, Charles Fedric Adrus?"
Archer
"She didn't come in today."
Archer
"Well where is she?"
Archer
"Well, I assume somewhere else."
Archer
"It's like..."
Archer
"Yeah, right?"
Archer
"Ya find it?"
Archer
"No..."
Archer
"Find what? Nothing."
Archer
"Just don't make any sudden movements."
Archer
"Bowel or otherwise."
Archer
"Wh-? Why would we make a sudden bowel movement?"
Archer
"Don't worry about it."
Archer
"Rrgh! No answer at home, no answer on her cell!"
Archer
"So not only do we not know who the target is,"
Archer
"now your mother has absconded with my child!"
Archer
"Yes, but on the plus side, there are seven of us,"
Archer
"so if one out of seven climbers dies on this mountain..."
Archer
"maybe we'll get lucky."
Archer
"Yeah, maybe it'll be you."
Archer
"No, not me, dummy,"
Archer
"I meant-- oh, I get it."
Archer
"I see what you did there."
Archer
"Really?"
Archer
"Yes."
Archer
"C'mon, c'mon..."
Archer
"Pick up, pick up, pick up--"
Archer
"Mmblello?"
Archer
"Oh thank God, you're still at the office."
Archer
"I am?"
Archer
"Aw, maaan..."
Archer
"Pam, I need you to find--"
Archer
"Yaagh!"
Archer
"Pam! What? Goddammit!"
Archer
"I need you to-- Shut up!"
Archer
"--And listen! I need you to check"
Archer
"Malory's apartment for me."
Archer
"All right, pick it up, people!"
Archer
"The weather's good now but it can change on a dime!"
Archer
"Michiko, right there, that's your line."
Archer
"Now, stay on it, and work across toward the ridge."
Archer
"Hai, okay."
Archer
"Looking good guys, looking real good!"
Archer
"Oh, this old thing? It's just -- Keep walking."
Archer
"Uh-huh. Yep."
Archer
"Sat-phone? Yeah, sorry, I was just--"
Archer
"Keep it handy. I'm getting a majorly weird vibe"
Archer
"from um-- from one of the other climbers."
Archer
"Oh, yeah, no, just tell him you're not interested."
Archer
"No, not him, one of the others."
Archer
"Yeah what's up, what're we doing?"
Archer
"Uh, besides jeopardizing the entire rope line"
Archer
"by being out of position?"
Archer
"Yes, obviously besides that."
Archer
"Crash has a bad feeling about one of the other climbers."
Archer
"Oh, he's harmless, just tell him--"
Archer
"Not Ray. One of the others."
Archer
"Aha. And also ah-who?"
Archer
"Well, look, maybe it's nothing, but--"
Archer
"Get down! You're not my supervi--!"
Archer
"Oh, no!"
Archer
"Hang on!"
Archer
"Whoa whoa whoa whoa! Hang on!"
Archer
"I got a key, ya skimpnuts."
Archer
"Oh yeah, me, too."
Archer
"Why do you have keys to her apartment?"
Archer
"Ron gave them to us,"
Archer
"when they were doing that weird open-house thing."
Archer
"Oh. Well that explains that..."
Archer
"You both had sex with hopefully Ron?"
Archer
"Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it."
Archer
"But I just wanna say,"
Archer
"breaking into Ms. Archer's apartment"
Archer
"to hopefully find a crying baby"
Archer
"clinging to her dead and shriveled body"
Archer
"is the best birthday present I've ever gotten."
Archer
"Except for that Formula One team."
Archer
"Dibs on snacks."
Archer
"Looks like Pam's lucky night..."
Archer
"because of the snacks, ya dickholes!"
Archer
"Although..."
Archer
"Michiko! Michikooooo!"
Archer
"I can't see her! There's a ledge!"
Archer
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