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Clips from Silicon Valley - Two in the Box (S03E03)

"I haven't slept in a box in years. Stop."
Silicon Valley
"Now that Pied Piper's funded,"
Silicon Valley
"I have enough money to move back into my condo."
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"Oh. Congratulations."
Silicon Valley
"I thought you sold it."
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"No, I've been AirBNB'ing it out"
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"to cover the mortgage."
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"But it'll be good to get home."
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"I've been missing my tub a lot,"
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"and Noah's been using a lot of hate speech with me lately,"
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"so moving will be a good thing."
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"All right, guys, think I'm gonna take off"
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"unless you need me to stick around, help you transition."
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"- I... - By doing what?"
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"I could introduce you to some of the people that work here."
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"I made some major inroads with Hiroki."
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"- No. - Why would we want that?"
Silicon Valley
"Fair... yeah, fair point."
Silicon Valley
"So, welcome to your new home."
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"Enjoy it, guys. I gave you this."
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"Oh."
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"Sorry. Sorry."
Silicon Valley
"How was everyone's morning?"
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"- Uh, yeah. - Mm-hmm."
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"Let me tell you about mine."
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"I started my day, as I always do,"
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"by typing my own name into Hooli-Search."
Silicon Valley
"I enjoy the ritual, which is designed to center me."
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"But lately, it's been doing the opposite."
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"Whose work station is this?"
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"Observe."
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"These are all remnants of a time"
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"before I wrote Nucleus down."
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"Why are we allowing our own technology"
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"to dredge up our painful past?"
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"Why is it that when I type my own name"
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"into my own company search engine,"
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"the fucking Internet rains shit-bolts down on me?"
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"I want this to stop!"
Silicon Valley
"These articles are part of the public record."
Silicon Valley
"Your point?"
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"Are you suggesting that we alter"
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"the fundamental neutrality of the Hooli-Search algorithm?"
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"That's a clear violation of the public trust."
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"Yelp is threatening to sue Google for this very thing."
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"I can't, in good conscience,"
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"order Hooli-Search engineers to do that."
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"I never suggested anything of the sort."
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"No Hooli-Search engineer"
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"will ever be asked to alter the neutrality of the algorithm."
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"And so, Gavin doesn't want to see"
Silicon Valley
"any more negative mentions of Nucleus on Hooli-Search."
Silicon Valley
"So... we're gonna alter the search algorithm?"
Silicon Valley
"Of course not. That would be unethical."
Silicon Valley
"What are we supposed to do?"
Silicon Valley
"Promote other websites to outrank the bad Nucleus news?"
Silicon Valley
"Do you have any idea how big a fucking job that is?"
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"Don't you swear at me."
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"We don't work here anymore."
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"For 10 more days you do!"
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"Unless you'd all like to quit"
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"and walk away from your entire severance packages!"
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"Amazing."
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"Whoa, whoa! Oh."
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"Jared. Whoa."
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"What's up?"
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"Hi. Umm..."
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"I'm sorry, I'm a little confused."
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"You... you were supposed to be out on Tuesday."
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"Oh, I was, but plans have changed."
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"See..."
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"I can't really afford to move or pay rent,"
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"so I'm gonna have to stay a little while."
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"Okay, look..."
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"I appreciate your situation,"
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"but... you're breaking the terms of our contract."
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"Listen, I don't want to be a dick,"
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"it's just I can't afford to live around here."
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"'cause the rent is so high,"
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"because of the tech companies, right?"
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"And you bought this place with the money you made"
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"working at the tech companies,"
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"so... it kind of all evens out, right?"
Silicon Valley
"That... that makes no sense."
Silicon Valley
"I know. Right?"
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"Okay, look, I can give you a few days,"
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"two weeks tops,"
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"but if you're not out by then,"
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"I'm gonna have to take legal action."
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"This bums me out, man."
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"I thought you were like the one cool tech guy."
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"Me?"
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"Are you sure?"
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"Not anymore."
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"Well..."
Silicon Valley
"Well, the occupant of a residence in California"
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"has almost unlimited rights."
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"I have to get his permission to enter my property."
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"I can't turn off the power or the gas,"
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"and I have to hire a lawyer"
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"to start a legal eviction. That won't be cheap."
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"Jeez, man. I'm sorry. That sucks."
Silicon Valley
"So, where did you sleep last night?"
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"I did not. How was your sleep?"
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"It was... it was good, yeah."
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"I mean, I slept like a stone."
Silicon Valley
"It's odd not having to do everything ourselves, isn't it?"
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"Yeah, I'm... I'm kinda loving it."
Silicon Valley
"Hey, you ready to go to work?"
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"Chef Amy asked us what we wanted for breakfast,"
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"and I said, "Surprise us.""
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"Could be anything. Let's go!"
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"When was the last time you saw those two"
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"- go anywhere before noon? - Indeed."
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"Well, let's go get some gluten-free waffles."
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"Oh. Sorry about the surprise."
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"- I don't care. - I asked Chef Amy to tell me."
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"I have too many dietary restrictions"
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"to leave breakfast to chance."
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"- Makes sense. - Ah, two of my incubees"
Silicon Valley
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