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Clips from Cheers - The Bartender's Tale (S03E03)

I SHALL CONSIDER MY LIFE WELL SPENT

"I SHALL CONSIDER MY LIFE WELL SPENT"

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IF IT CAN BE HONESTLY CARVED ON MY GRAVESTONE,

"IF IT CAN BE HONESTLY CARVED ON MY GRAVESTONE,"

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"LILLIAN HUXLEY NEVER KEPT A THIRSTY MAN WAITING FOR HIS ALE,

""LILLIAN HUXLEY NEVER KEPT A THIRSTY MAN WAITING FOR HIS ALE,"

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AND SHE ALWAYS BROUGHT HIM A WEE BIT MORE THAN A PINT."

"AND SHE ALWAYS BROUGHT HIM A WEE BIT MORE THAN A PINT.""

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OH, BRAVO!

"OH, BRAVO!"

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I'M NOT TOO SURE I LIKE HER ATTITUDE.

"I'M NOT TOO SURE I LIKE HER ATTITUDE."

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OH!

"OH!"

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[SPEAKING ITALIAN]

"[SPEAKING ITALIAN]"

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[SPEAKING ITALIAN]

"[SPEAKING ITALIAN]"

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YOUR HEAT CONTROL IS OVER THERE.

"YOUR HEAT CONTROL IS OVER THERE."

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AND IF YOU NEED ANYTHING,

"AND IF YOU NEED ANYTHING,"

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PLEASE, JUST CALL THE FRONT DESK.

"PLEASE, JUST CALL THE FRONT DESK."

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THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THAT WILL BE ALL.

"THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THAT WILL BE ALL."

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GRAZIE, GRAZIE.

"GRAZIE, GRAZIE."

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200,000 LIRE--

"200,000 LIRE--"

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THAT'S ABOUT RIGHT, RIGHT?

"THAT'S ABOUT RIGHT, RIGHT?"

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GRAZIE, SIGNORI.

"GRAZIE, SIGNORI."

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PREGO.

"PREGO."

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GRAZIE.

"GRAZIE."

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FRASIER, A LETTER FROM CHEERS.

"FRASIER, A LETTER FROM CHEERS."

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OH, WAIT. IT'S NOT A LETTER.

"OH, WAIT. IT'S NOT A LETTER."

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IT'S A LILLIAN HUXLEY'S RESUME.

"IT'S A LILLIAN HUXLEY'S RESUME."

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AND IT'S SIGNED,

"AND IT'S SIGNED,"

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"HA HA! YOU'RE OUT OF HERE FOREVER."

""HA HA! YOU'RE OUT OF HERE FOREVER.""

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IT'S ALWAYS NICE TO HEAR FROM CARLA.

"IT'S ALWAYS NICE TO HEAR FROM CARLA."

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DIANE, CHEERS IS THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY.

"DIANE, CHEERS IS THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY."

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WHY DON'T WE JUST LEAVE THEM

"WHY DON'T WE JUST LEAVE THEM"

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ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GREAT OCEAN, SHALL WE?

"ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GREAT OCEAN, SHALL WE?"

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OF COURSE.

"OF COURSE."

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I LOVE YOU.

"I LOVE YOU."

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ME, TOO, DIANE.

"ME, TOO, DIANE."

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DID I JUST HEAR YOU SAY

"DID I JUST HEAR YOU SAY"

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THAT YOU TIPPED THAT BELLBOY 200,000 LIRE?

"THAT YOU TIPPED THAT BELLBOY 200,000 LIRE?"

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YES, WHAT IS THAT, ABOUT A DOLLAR OR TWO?

"YES, WHAT IS THAT, ABOUT A DOLLAR OR TWO?"

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THIS INFLATED CURRENCY IS SO RIDICULOUS.

"THIS INFLATED CURRENCY IS SO RIDICULOUS."

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I KEEP EXPECTING A BUM TO WALK UP

"I KEEP EXPECTING A BUM TO WALK UP"

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AND ASK FOR A MILLION LIRE FOR A CUP OF COFFEE.

"AND ASK FOR A MILLION LIRE FOR A CUP OF COFFEE."

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YOU TIPPED THE MAN $100 TO BRING OUR BAGS 8 FEET.

"YOU TIPPED THE MAN $100 TO BRING OUR BAGS 8 FEET."

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ARE YOU SURE?

"ARE YOU SURE?"

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OH, WELL, THIS WILL GET A HEARTY LAUGH

"OH, WELL, THIS WILL GET A HEARTY LAUGH"

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FROM THE FOLKS AT THE INSTITUTE.

"FROM THE FOLKS AT THE INSTITUTE."

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JUST EXPLAIN IT TO HIM.

"JUST EXPLAIN IT TO HIM."

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I'M SURE HE'LL UNDERSTAND.

"I'M SURE HE'LL UNDERSTAND."

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YOU MEAN GO DOWN THERE AND GET IT BACK?

"YOU MEAN GO DOWN THERE AND GET IT BACK?"

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WHAT ELSE, MY ANGEL?

"WHAT ELSE, MY ANGEL?"

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WELL, THESE PEOPLE THINK SO LITTLE OF AMERICANS AS IT IS.

"WELL, THESE PEOPLE THINK SO LITTLE OF AMERICANS AS IT IS."

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I'LL GO.

"I'LL GO."

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NO, NO, NO.

"NO, NO, NO."

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IF I SENT A WOMAN, THEY'D THINK EVEN LESS OF ME.

"IF I SENT A WOMAN, THEY'D THINK EVEN LESS OF ME."

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I'LL DO IT.

"I'LL DO IT."

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OH, MY BRAVE LITTLE TOURIST.

"OH, MY BRAVE LITTLE TOURIST."

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YES. I GUESS IT'S TIME

"YES. I GUESS IT'S TIME"

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TO NIP THIS THING IN THE BUD.

"TO NIP THIS THING IN THE BUD."

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[KNOCK ON DOOR]

"[KNOCK ON DOOR]"

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COME IN.

"COME IN."

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[SPEAKING AT ONCE]

"[SPEAKING AT ONCE]"

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* JOHNNY WILL GO TO SLEEP *

"* JOHNNY WILL GO TO SLEEP *"

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* IN HIS OWN LITTLE ROOM AGAIN *

"* IN HIS OWN LITTLE ROOM AGAIN *"

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* THERE'LL BE BLUEBIRDS OVER *

"* THERE'LL BE BLUEBIRDS OVER *"

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* THE WHITE CLIFFS OF DOVER *

"* THE WHITE CLIFFS OF DOVER *"

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* TOMORROW *

"* TOMORROW *"

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* WHEN THE WORLD IS FREE *

"* WHEN THE WORLD IS FREE *"

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YAY! YO!

"YAY! YO!"

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LET'S SING DON'T DILLY DALLY ON THE WAY.

"LET'S SING DON'T DILLY DALLY ON THE WAY."

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NO, NO. I'M TIRED OF THAT ONE.

"NO, NO. I'M TIRED OF THAT ONE."

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HOW ABOUT A LITTLE... * KNEES ABOVE THEIR BROW *

"HOW ABOUT A LITTLE... * KNEES ABOVE THEIR BROW *"

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YEAH! YEAH!

"YEAH! YEAH!"

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I'M AFRAID I'M TOO OVERCOME.

"I'M AFRAID I'M TOO OVERCOME."

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ALL RIGHT, LET'S SELL SOME BEERS AROUND HERE.

"ALL RIGHT, LET'S SELL SOME BEERS AROUND HERE."

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I'LL TAKE TWO. ALL RIGHTY.

"I'LL TAKE TWO. ALL RIGHTY."

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OH, MY ACHING BACK.

"OH, MY ACHING BACK."

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MY POSTAL CAREER IS OVER.

"MY POSTAL CAREER IS OVER."

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OOH!

"OOH!"

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CLIFF, YOU LOOK TERRIBLE.

"CLIFF, YOU LOOK TERRIBLE."

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YEAH, YEAH.

"YEAH, YEAH."

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WAS TODAY SEARS CATALOGUE DAY?

"WAS TODAY SEARS CATALOGUE DAY?"

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YEAH, AND THAT'S NOT ALL.

"YEAH, AND THAT'S NOT ALL."

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SPIEGEL CATALOGUE CAME OUT AT THE SAME TIME.

"SPIEGEL CATALOGUE CAME OUT AT THE SAME TIME."

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IT'S A PHENOMENON THAT HAPPENS ONCE EVERY 27 YEARS

"IT'S A PHENOMENON THAT HAPPENS ONCE EVERY 27 YEARS"

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WHEN BOTH MARKETING STRATEGIES ARE IN THE SAME EQUINOX.

"WHEN BOTH MARKETING STRATEGIES ARE IN THE SAME EQUINOX."

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COME HERE, YOU GREAT SILLY SAUSAGE.

"COME HERE, YOU GREAT SILLY SAUSAGE."

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WHAT'S GOING ON?

"WHAT'S GOING ON?"

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NOW, HUSH, PET, HUSH.

"NOW, HUSH, PET, HUSH."

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FEAR NOT.

"FEAR NOT."

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UH, OOH!

"UH, OOH!"

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1...2...

"1...2..."

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[CRACK]

"[CRACK]"

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AHH.

"AHH."

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AHH.

"AHH."

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HEY!

"HEY!"

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LILLIAN, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

"LILLIAN, THANK YOU VERY MUCH."

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I FEEL LIKE GRABBING EVERY WOMAN IN THE JOINT

"I FEEL LIKE GRABBING EVERY WOMAN IN THE JOINT"

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AND JUST DANCING.

"AND JUST DANCING."

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HOW MUCH TO PUT HIM BACK THE WAY HE WAS?

"HOW MUCH TO PUT HIM BACK THE WAY HE WAS?"

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NOW CARLA, I'VE GOT CUSTOMERS TO SERVE.

"NOW CARLA, I'VE GOT CUSTOMERS TO SERVE."

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WELL, SAMMY, LILLIAN'S WEEK IS ALMOST UP.

"WELL, SAMMY, LILLIAN'S WEEK IS ALMOST UP."

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ARE YOU GOING TO BE KEEPING HER ON?

"ARE YOU GOING TO BE KEEPING HER ON?"

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I'M JUST DYING OF CURIOSITY.

"I'M JUST DYING OF CURIOSITY."

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I BIG ENOUGH TO ADMIT WHEN I'M WRONG.

"I BIG ENOUGH TO ADMIT WHEN I'M WRONG."

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SHE'S A TERRIFIC WAITRESS.

"SHE'S A TERRIFIC WAITRESS."

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CUSTOMERS LOVE HER. SHE'S ABSOLUTELY PERFECT.

"CUSTOMERS LOVE HER. SHE'S ABSOLUTELY PERFECT."

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YEAH, AND THE BEST PART IS

"YEAH, AND THE BEST PART IS"

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THERE'S NO CHANCE OF ANY ROMANTIC COMPLICATIONS

"THERE'S NO CHANCE OF ANY ROMANTIC COMPLICATIONS"

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TO SCREW THINGS UP.

"TO SCREW THINGS UP."

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OH, GOD, AMEN.

"OH, GOD, AMEN."

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BOY, NO MORE SEX STUFF

"BOY, NO MORE SEX STUFF"

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WITH ANYBODY EVEN REMOTELY CONNECTED WITH THIS BAR.

"WITH ANYBODY EVEN REMOTELY CONNECTED WITH THIS BAR."

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PROMISE?

"PROMISE?"

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ON MY HONOR AS A GREAT-LOOKING HUMAN BEING.

"ON MY HONOR AS A GREAT-LOOKING HUMAN BEING."

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ANYWAY, I THINK I'VE JUST SEEN THE WOMAN

"ANYWAY, I THINK I'VE JUST SEEN THE WOMAN"

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IN WHOSE ARMS I HOPE TO DIE.

"IN WHOSE ARMS I HOPE TO DIE."

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OOH. HI THERE.

"OOH. HI THERE."

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ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.

"ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE MYSELF."

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I'M SAM MALONE-- THE NEXT GREAT LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.

"I'M SAM MALONE-- THE NEXT GREAT LOVE OF YOUR LIFE."

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I'VE HEARD YOU YANKS WERE BOLD.

"I'VE HEARD YOU YANKS WERE BOLD."

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OH, MY GOOD-- YOU KNOW, YOU SOUND EXACTLY LIKE...

"OH, MY GOOD-- YOU KNOW, YOU SOUND EXACTLY LIKE..."

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CAROLYN!

"CAROLYN!"

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MUMMY!

"MUMMY!"

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SAM.

"SAM."

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CARLA...

"CARLA..."

Cheers

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