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Clips from Cheers - The Bartender's Tale (S03E03)

YOUR MOTHER NEVER TOLD ME SHE HAD A DAUGHTER.

"YOUR MOTHER NEVER TOLD ME SHE HAD A DAUGHTER."

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SHE NEVER TOLD ME SHE HAD SUCH A HANDSOME BOSS.

"SHE NEVER TOLD ME SHE HAD SUCH A HANDSOME BOSS."

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AW, SHUCKS.

"AW, SHUCKS."

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CAROLYN'S VISITING HER OLD MUMMY FOR A FEW DAYS.

"CAROLYN'S VISITING HER OLD MUMMY FOR A FEW DAYS."

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HEY, LILLIAN, YOU'RE UP HERE.

"HEY, LILLIAN, YOU'RE UP HERE."

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OH. EXCUSE ME, DEARS,

"OH. EXCUSE ME, DEARS,"

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I MUST GO AND TEACH THIS BLOKE HOW TO PLAY A PROPER DARTS.

"I MUST GO AND TEACH THIS BLOKE HOW TO PLAY A PROPER DARTS."

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I'LL BE BACK IN AN EMBARRASSINGLY SHORT TIME.

"I'LL BE BACK IN AN EMBARRASSINGLY SHORT TIME."

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SO, CAROLYN...

"SO, CAROLYN..."

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HOW DO YOU LIKE BOSTON

"HOW DO YOU LIKE BOSTON"

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NOW THAT YOU'VE SEEN THE SIGHT?

"NOW THAT YOU'VE SEEN THE SIGHT?"

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I LOVE IT.

"I LOVE IT."

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SAM, COULD I TALK TO YOU?

"SAM, COULD I TALK TO YOU?"

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NOT NOW. NOW.

"NOT NOW. NOW."

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CARLA, I'M ON FINAL APPROACH

"CARLA, I'M ON FINAL APPROACH"

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AND I'VE BEEN CLEARED FOR LANDING, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

"AND I'VE BEEN CLEARED FOR LANDING, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?"

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HAUL YOUR BUTT OVER HERE NOW, SKY KING.

"HAUL YOUR BUTT OVER HERE NOW, SKY KING."

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EXCUSE ME FOR A MOMENT.

"EXCUSE ME FOR A MOMENT."

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YEAH, WHAT?

"YEAH, WHAT?"

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IF YOU TAKE CAROLYN OUT,

"IF YOU TAKE CAROLYN OUT,"

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IT'S GONNA GO BAD LIKE ALWAYS.

"IT'S GONNA GO BAD LIKE ALWAYS."

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AND YOU ARE GONNA LOSE THE BEST WAITRESSES YOU'VE EVER HAD.

"AND YOU ARE GONNA LOSE THE BEST WAITRESSES YOU'VE EVER HAD."

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CARLA, I HARDLY--

"CARLA, I HARDLY--"

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I'M WARNING YOU, SAM. YOU GO OUT WITH HER, AND I QUIT.

"I'M WARNING YOU, SAM. YOU GO OUT WITH HER, AND I QUIT."

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OH, YOU DON'T MEAN THAT.

"OH, YOU DON'T MEAN THAT."

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YEAH? TRY ME.

"YEAH? TRY ME."

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OK, OK. ALL RIGHT.

"OK, OK. ALL RIGHT."

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AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, CAROLYN'S OFF LIMITS.

"AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, CAROLYN'S OFF LIMITS."

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THAT'S YOUR BRAIN TALKING, SAM.

"THAT'S YOUR BRAIN TALKING, SAM."

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I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR FROM THE PART OF YOUR BODY

"I WOULD LIKE TO HEAR FROM THE PART OF YOUR BODY"

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THAT DOES THE THINKING.

"THAT DOES THE THINKING."

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IT'S IN AGREEMENT 2.

"IT'S IN AGREEMENT 2."

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I'M SORRY TO BE SUCH A MISERABLE HOST HERE.

"I'M SORRY TO BE SUCH A MISERABLE HOST HERE."

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SO YOU'RE FROM ENGLAND, HUH?

"SO YOU'RE FROM ENGLAND, HUH?"

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YES. I'M JUST IN THE STATES FOR A FEW DAYS

"YES. I'M JUST IN THE STATES FOR A FEW DAYS"

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TO SHOOT A LAYOUT FOR BRITISH VOGUE.

"TO SHOOT A LAYOUT FOR BRITISH VOGUE."

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OH, NOW, WAIT A SECOND HERE. I THINK THAT CALLS

"OH, NOW, WAIT A SECOND HERE. I THINK THAT CALLS"

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FOR A LITTLE OF THE OLD WELCOME TO THE U.S. CHAMPAGNE--

"FOR A LITTLE OF THE OLD WELCOME TO THE U.S. CHAMPAGNE--"

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ON THE HOUSE.

"ON THE HOUSE."

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OH, GREAT.

"OH, GREAT."

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YEAH. A LITTLE OF THE OLD BUBBLY HERE.

"YEAH. A LITTLE OF THE OLD BUBBLY HERE."

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SO YOU'RE A MODEL, HUH?

"SO YOU'RE A MODEL, HUH?"

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YES. I DO LINGERIE MOSTLY.

"YES. I DO LINGERIE MOSTLY."

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YOU KNOW--TEDDIES, MERRY WIDOWS, GARTER BELTS.

"YOU KNOW--TEDDIES, MERRY WIDOWS, GARTER BELTS."

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THIS IS MY PORTFOLIO.

"THIS IS MY PORTFOLIO."

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I'LL GIVE YOU $1,000 FOR IT.

"I'LL GIVE YOU $1,000 FOR IT."

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I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT ANY OF YOU TO LOOK AT IT.

"I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT ANY OF YOU TO LOOK AT IT."

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I ONLY BROUGHT IT IN TO SHOW MUMMY.

"I ONLY BROUGHT IT IN TO SHOW MUMMY."

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AW... AW... AW...

"AW... AW... AW..."

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OH, NOW, COME ON, YOU GUYS.

"OH, NOW, COME ON, YOU GUYS."

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COME ON, COME ON. GIVE HER A LITTLE PRIVACY.

"COME ON, COME ON. GIVE HER A LITTLE PRIVACY."

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WELL, I SUPPOSE IT WON'T DO ANY HARM.

"WELL, I SUPPOSE IT WON'T DO ANY HARM."

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WELL, ALL RIGHT. HERE WE GO.

"WELL, ALL RIGHT. HERE WE GO."

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MM-HMM.

"MM-HMM."

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THAT'S A VERY INTERESTING SHOT. I LIKE THAT ONE.

"THAT'S A VERY INTERESTING SHOT. I LIKE THAT ONE."

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OH, THAT'S NICE. THAT'S NICE LIGHTING ON THAT ONE.

"OH, THAT'S NICE. THAT'S NICE LIGHTING ON THAT ONE."

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BET THEY USED AN F-STOP ON THAT ONE, HUH?

"BET THEY USED AN F-STOP ON THAT ONE, HUH?"

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OH, NOW, SEE, I LIKE THE COMPOSITION ON THAT ONE.

"OH, NOW, SEE, I LIKE THE COMPOSITION ON THAT ONE."

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WHAT ARE THOSE, DUCKS?

"WHAT ARE THOSE, DUCKS?"

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MMM, YES, THAT'S RIGHT.

"MMM, YES, THAT'S RIGHT."

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OH, I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO DO THIS ONE NUDE,

"OH, I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO DO THIS ONE NUDE,"

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BUT YOU KNOW HOW...

"BUT YOU KNOW HOW..."

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NO, NO. I THINK IT'S VERY TASTEFUL.

"NO, NO. I THINK IT'S VERY TASTEFUL."

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IT MAKES A POINT, I THINK.

"IT MAKES A POINT, I THINK."

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SAMMY. THE ICE.

"SAMMY. THE ICE."

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OH!

"OH!"

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UM...THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

"UM...THANK YOU VERY MUCH."

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UM...WILL YOU JUST GIVE ME A SECOND HERE?

"UM...WILL YOU JUST GIVE ME A SECOND HERE?"

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I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

"I'LL BE RIGHT BACK."

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CARLA, CAN I SPEAK TO YOU FOR A MOMENT HERE?

"CARLA, CAN I SPEAK TO YOU FOR A MOMENT HERE?"

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REMEMBER THAT CONVERSATION WE HAD A MINUTE AGO

"REMEMBER THAT CONVERSATION WE HAD A MINUTE AGO"

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RIGHT OVER THERE ABOUT ME NOT GOING OUT WITH CAROLYN?

"RIGHT OVER THERE ABOUT ME NOT GOING OUT WITH CAROLYN?"

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CAN WE JUST PRETEND THAT WHOLE THING NEVER TOOK PLACE?

"CAN WE JUST PRETEND THAT WHOLE THING NEVER TOOK PLACE?"

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YOU BET. I'LL JUST GO PACK MY STUFF.

"YOU BET. I'LL JUST GO PACK MY STUFF."

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NICE KNOWING YOU.

"NICE KNOWING YOU."

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NOW, LISTEN, HEY, COME ON.

"NOW, LISTEN, HEY, COME ON."

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THE LADY IS COMING ON TO ME.

"THE LADY IS COMING ON TO ME."

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IF I RESIST, I COULD DAMAGE SOME ORGANS.

"IF I RESIST, I COULD DAMAGE SOME ORGANS."

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I DON'T CARE.

"I DON'T CARE."

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IF YOU GO OUT WITH HER, I QUIT.

"IF YOU GO OUT WITH HER, I QUIT."

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OK! ALL RIGHT, OK, ALL RIGHT, FINE.

"OK! ALL RIGHT, OK, ALL RIGHT, FINE."

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THERE ARE MILLIONS OF WOMEN ON THIS PLANET.

"THERE ARE MILLIONS OF WOMEN ON THIS PLANET."

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I CAN CERTAINLY FORGO ONE OF THEM.

"I CAN CERTAINLY FORGO ONE OF THEM."

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KIND OF IRONIC, THOUGH, ISN'T IT,

"KIND OF IRONIC, THOUGH, ISN'T IT,"

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THAT SHE'S THE MOST GORGEOUS ONE THAT I'VE EVER SEEN,

"THAT SHE'S THE MOST GORGEOUS ONE THAT I'VE EVER SEEN,"

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BUT, HEY, THAT'S LIFE, THAT'S LIFE.

"BUT, HEY, THAT'S LIFE, THAT'S LIFE."

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THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

"THAT'S ALL RIGHT."

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SAM, THE CHAMPAGNE IS MARVELOUS.

"SAM, THE CHAMPAGNE IS MARVELOUS."

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YOU CERTAINLY KNOW HOW TO MAKE A GIRL FEEL WELCOME.

"YOU CERTAINLY KNOW HOW TO MAKE A GIRL FEEL WELCOME."

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WHAT? NO, THAT'S NOTHING.

"WHAT? NO, THAT'S NOTHING."

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I DO THAT FOR EVERYBODY.

"I DO THAT FOR EVERYBODY."

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SHE'S REALLY COMING ON TO SAM, ISN'T SHE?

"SHE'S REALLY COMING ON TO SAM, ISN'T SHE?"

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SAM. THAT'S RICH.

"SAM. THAT'S RICH."

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NORM, YOUR NAIVETÉ AMAZES ME.

"NORM, YOUR NAIVETÉ AMAZES ME."

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WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

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THAT WOMAN, SHE'S DOING ALL THIS FOR MY BENEFIT.

"THAT WOMAN, SHE'S DOING ALL THIS FOR MY BENEFIT."

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NOTICE HOW SHE'S TALKING LOUD SO I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING.

"NOTICE HOW SHE'S TALKING LOUD SO I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING."

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THAT WOMAN WANTS ME

"THAT WOMAN WANTS ME"

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MORE THAN ANY WOMAN HAS WANTED ME BEFORE.

"MORE THAN ANY WOMAN HAS WANTED ME BEFORE."

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CLIFFIE, SOMETIMES YOU REALLY SCARE ME.

"CLIFFIE, SOMETIMES YOU REALLY SCARE ME."

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UH, SAM, WHAT ABOUT THIS CAPE COD PLACE

"UH, SAM, WHAT ABOUT THIS CAPE COD PLACE"

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I'VE BEEN HEARING ABOUT?

"I'VE BEEN HEARING ABOUT?"

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I HEAR THAT IT'S DELIGHTFUL

"I HEAR THAT IT'S DELIGHTFUL"

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AND TERRIBLY ROMANTIC AT THIS TIME OF YEAR.

"AND TERRIBLY ROMANTIC AT THIS TIME OF YEAR."

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OH, WELL, YOU KNOW, I GUESS IT COULD BE, YEAH.

"OH, WELL, YOU KNOW, I GUESS IT COULD BE, YEAH."

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TELL ME, ARE THERE ANY CLOTHING OPTIONAL BEACHES THERE?

"TELL ME, ARE THERE ANY CLOTHING OPTIONAL BEACHES THERE?"

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I LIKE TO GET AN ALL-OVER TAN.

"I LIKE TO GET AN ALL-OVER TAN."

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OH, I KNOW IT'S A LOT MORE COMMON IN EUROPE THAN AMERICA,

"OH, I KNOW IT'S A LOT MORE COMMON IN EUROPE THAN AMERICA,"

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SO I CAME PREPARED WITH A BIKINI,

"SO I CAME PREPARED WITH A BIKINI,"

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BUT IT'S SUCH A SKIMPY LITTLE THING ANYWAY.

"BUT IT'S SUCH A SKIMPY LITTLE THING ANYWAY."

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CARLA.

"CARLA."

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I'M HAVING A REAL HARD TIME WITH THIS MAP.

"I'M HAVING A REAL HARD TIME WITH THIS MAP."

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I JUST CAN'T MAKE HEAD OR TAIL OF IT.

"I JUST CAN'T MAKE HEAD OR TAIL OF IT."

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I REALLY DON'T THINK I'M GONNA BE ABLE TO FIND MY WAY THERE.

"I REALLY DON'T THINK I'M GONNA BE ABLE TO FIND MY WAY THERE."

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I'LL TAKE YOU.

"I'LL TAKE YOU."

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I'LL TAKE YOU.

"I'LL TAKE YOU."

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I'LL TAKE YOU.

"I'LL TAKE YOU."

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OH, GREAT. WHAT A LOVELY SURPRISE.

"OH, GREAT. WHAT A LOVELY SURPRISE."

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I'LL TAKE YOU.

"I'LL TAKE YOU."

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I'LL LET CARLA GO, AND I'LL TAKE YOU.

"I'LL LET CARLA GO, AND I'LL TAKE YOU."

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