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Clips from Lucifer - Manly Whatnots (S01E01)

I'm assuming you learned

"I'm assuming you learned"

Lucifer

most of your moves at events like these.

"most of your moves at events like these."

Lucifer

I've never been to something like this before in my life.

"I've never been to something like this before in my life."

Lucifer

I certainly don't need any help getting women into bed.

"I certainly don't need any help getting women into bed."

Lucifer

Till...

"Till..."

Lucifer

Were you hit on the head when you were small?

"Were you hit on the head when you were small?"

Lucifer

(sighs)

"(sighs)"

Lucifer

No?

"No?"

Lucifer

("Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor playing)

"("Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor playing)"

Lucifer

(crowd cheering)

"(crowd cheering)"

Lucifer

We are biological machines.

"We are biological machines."

Lucifer

We... are warriors.

"We... are warriors."

Lucifer

We... are players!

"We... are players!"

Lucifer

(crowd cheering)

"(crowd cheering)"

Lucifer

Gentlemen, we are animals.

"Gentlemen, we are animals."

Lucifer

Men are the wolves, and women...

"Men are the wolves, and women..."

Lucifer

...are the fluffy bunnies.

"...are the fluffy bunnies."

Lucifer

(laughter)

"(laughter)"

Lucifer

So we must prepare ourselves for the hunt. How?

"So we must prepare ourselves for the hunt. How?"

Lucifer

ALL: "Follow the list."

"ALL: "Follow the list.""

Lucifer

Yes!

"Yes!"

Lucifer

The C.K.C.

"The C.K.C."

Lucifer

The Conduct of Kick-ass Cavemen.

"The Conduct of Kick-ass Cavemen."

Lucifer

One: Be seen.

"One: Be seen."

Lucifer

People pay for this?

"People pay for this?"

Lucifer

Yeah, 5,000 bucks.

"Yeah, 5,000 bucks."

Lucifer

CARVER: Stand out.

"CARVER: Stand out."

Lucifer

The peacock, the lion with his mane.

"The peacock, the lion with his mane."

Lucifer

Two: Be a protector.

"Two: Be a protector."

Lucifer

Duh.

"Duh."

Lucifer

Women are hardwired to hook up with someone

"Women are hardwired to hook up with someone"

Lucifer

who can help them survive.

"who can help them survive."

Lucifer

It is simple biology, man.

"It is simple biology, man."

Lucifer

Three: Be brave.

"Three: Be brave."

Lucifer

Take risks.

"Take risks."

Lucifer

Oh, maybe you should take notes.

"Oh, maybe you should take notes."

Lucifer

CARVER: Four: Be a leader of men.

"CARVER: Four: Be a leader of men."

Lucifer

And the most elusive.

"And the most elusive."

Lucifer

Five: Be confident.

"Five: Be confident."

Lucifer

You... are...

"You... are..."

Lucifer

a player!

"a player!"

Lucifer

Own it!

"Own it!"

Lucifer

(crowd cheering)

"(crowd cheering)"

Lucifer

Excuse-excuse me! Excuse me, question!

"Excuse-excuse me! Excuse me, question!"

Lucifer

CHLOE: What are you doing?

"CHLOE: What are you doing?"

Lucifer

CARVER: The Q&A's after the speech, buddy.

"CARVER: The Q&A's after the speech, buddy."

Lucifer

LUCIFER: No, but it's quite pressing.

"LUCIFER: No, but it's quite pressing."

Lucifer

What if you have all those manly whatnots

"What if you have all those manly whatnots"

Lucifer

and a woman still doesn't respond?

"and a woman still doesn't respond?"

Lucifer

You may think you have them, but you don't.

"You may think you have them, but you don't."

Lucifer

- Yeah. - That's why you're here, right?

"- Yeah. - That's why you're here, right?"

Lucifer

So, gentlemen, you follow these rules,

"So, gentlemen, you follow these rules,"

Lucifer

and you will bed any Betty you desire, guaranteed.

"and you will bed any Betty you desire, guaranteed."

Lucifer

LUCIFER: No. No.

"LUCIFER: No. No."

Lucifer

No, no, no. I'm certain I've got everything on your little list,

"No, no, no. I'm certain I've got everything on your little list,"

Lucifer

and more, actually,

"and more, actually,"

Lucifer

yet this woman here won't have sex with me.

"yet this woman here won't have sex with me."

Lucifer

(laughter)

"(laughter)"

Lucifer

Just listen to the speech, buddy.

"Just listen to the speech, buddy."

Lucifer

The system works.

"The system works."

Lucifer

No, but I doubt that.

"No, but I doubt that."

Lucifer

Because... because if I can't "bed a Betty,"

"Because... because if I can't "bed a Betty,""

Lucifer

then how do you possibly expect

"then how do you possibly expect"

Lucifer

any of these poor miscreants to succeed?

"any of these poor miscreants to succeed?"

Lucifer

(crowd grumbles)

"(crowd grumbles)"

Lucifer

Especially when they're taking advice

"Especially when they're taking advice"

Lucifer

from a-a wanker such as you?

"from a-a wanker such as you?"

Lucifer

All right, just sit down, man.

"All right, just sit down, man."

Lucifer

Yeah, Lucifer, sit down.

"Yeah, Lucifer, sit down."

Lucifer

I-I just... could we get the spotlight over here?

"I-I just... could we get the spotlight over here?"

Lucifer

(chuckles) Do we have that?

"(chuckles) Do we have that?"

Lucifer

Yeah, yeah.

"Yeah, yeah."

Lucifer

But on-on her.

"But on-on her."

Lucifer

Good. Right. Now, you're the expert.

"Good. Right. Now, you're the expert."

Lucifer

You tell me what's wrong with this picture.

"You tell me what's wrong with this picture."

Lucifer

I mean, I'm me.

"I mean, I'm me."

Lucifer

Right?

"Right?"

Lucifer

And she...

"And she..."

Lucifer

Well, she's a cop, for starters.

"Well, she's a cop, for starters."

Lucifer

(crowd grumbles) She's a cop?

"(crowd grumbles) She's a cop?"

Lucifer

Yes. I mean, talk about

"Yes. I mean, talk about"

Lucifer

the shallow end of the dating pool.

"the shallow end of the dating pool."

Lucifer

This is private property.

"This is private property."

Lucifer

Unless you have a warrant,

"Unless you have a warrant,"

Lucifer

you need to leave here immediately.

"you need to leave here immediately."

Lucifer

Security!

"Security!"

Lucifer

Security, her, out.

"Security, her, out."

Lucifer

Okay, we're gonna take a ten-minute intermission.

"Okay, we're gonna take a ten-minute intermission."

Lucifer

All right? Thank you.

"All right? Thank you."

Lucifer

I haven't finished.

"I haven't finished."

Lucifer

All right.

"All right."

Lucifer

Oh, it's you again.

"Oh, it's you again."

Lucifer

Have you two...?

"Have you two...?"

Lucifer

I know.

"I know."

Lucifer

I'm-I'm sorry, Lieutenant.

"I'm-I'm sorry, Lieutenant."

Lucifer

I... No. No.

"I... No. No."

Lucifer

I've got it under control.

"I've got it under control."

Lucifer

And Mr. Morningstar, too, yes.

"And Mr. Morningstar, too, yes."

Lucifer

Let me talk to him.

"Let me talk to him."

Lucifer

It's a her, and no.

"It's a her, and no."

Lucifer

Really? Your boss is a she?

"Really? Your boss is a she?"

Lucifer

Even better. Give me the phone, I'll fix it.

"Even better. Give me the phone, I'll fix it."

Lucifer

No, you can't fix this!

"No, you can't fix this!"

Lucifer

You've already said enough.

"You've already said enough."

Lucifer

Sorry!

"Sorry!"

Lucifer

Not you.

"Not you."

Lucifer

Yes, I-I'll figure out a way into the party.

"Yes, I-I'll figure out a way into the party."

Lucifer

It's not a problem.

"It's not a problem."

Lucifer

And-and again,

"And-and again,"

Lucifer

I...

"I..."

Lucifer

So we're going to the Player after-party.

"So we're going to the Player after-party."

Lucifer

Not you. I am.

"Not you. I am."

Lucifer

Well, I'm not sure how that's possible,

"Well, I'm not sure how that's possible,"

Lucifer

now that you've blown your cover.

"now that you've blown your cover."

Lucifer

Well, that was 100% your fault.

"Well, that was 100% your fault."

Lucifer

I beg to differ. None of that would have happened

"I beg to differ. None of that would have happened"

Lucifer

if you'd just complied with my request.

"if you'd just complied with my request."

Lucifer

Do you honestly think you can just ask people

"Do you honestly think you can just ask people"

Lucifer

to have sex with you and they will?

"to have sex with you and they will?"

Lucifer

Well, I usually don't have to ask, actually.

"Well, I usually don't have to ask, actually."

Lucifer

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