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Clips from Lucifer - Manly Whatnots (S01E01)

"Um..."
Lucifer
"CHLOE: Her name's Lindsay Jolson."
Lucifer
"Mm-hmm."
Lucifer
"She's been missing almost three full days."
Lucifer
"Right, so just ask me one more time."
Lucifer
"Lucifer, there's a girl missing."
Lucifer
"(chuckles) Yes, it's just not every day"
Lucifer
"someone kicks you out of your house, then three hours later"
Lucifer
"asks you on a date."
Lucifer
"It's not a date. It's a work thing."
Lucifer
"- Oh. - And are you gonna help me or not?"
Lucifer
"All right."
Lucifer
"But only 'cause it coincides perfectly"
Lucifer
"with my own plan."
Lucifer
"And what plan is that?"
Lucifer
"Well, to have sex with you, of course."
Lucifer
"(laughs) Okay."
Lucifer
"Wait, you and I... well, there is no you and I."
Lucifer
"There's a professional situation,"
Lucifer
"- and I just need you... - See, you need me."
Lucifer
"The department needs you, because you're the one..."
Lucifer
"I'm the one?"
Lucifer
"On the list for the Player thing."
Lucifer
"You're quite adorable when you're flustered."
Lucifer
"I... I'm not flustered."
Lucifer
"I'm nauseous."
Lucifer
"Now you're blushing; I'd say I'm making headway."
Lucifer
"Okay, look, let me make myself perfectly clear."
Lucifer
"I will never,"
Lucifer
"ever, ever sleep with you."
Lucifer
"Never."
Lucifer
"Okay? Got it?"
Lucifer
"Playing hard to get, I like it."
Lucifer
"When Hell freezes over, Lucifer."
Lucifer
"I can arrange that, actually."
Lucifer
"Get in the car."
Lucifer
"♪♪"
Lucifer
"♪♪"
Lucifer
"LUCIFER: Well, hello."
Lucifer
"♪ Ain't nothing wrong with this chemistry... ♪"
Lucifer
"Here you are, Mr. Morningstar."
Lucifer
"Well, thank you, lovely."
Lucifer
"And here's something else you might need."
Lucifer
"(chuckles)"
Lucifer
"Well, yes, that might come in handy."
Lucifer
"Pardon the pun."
Lucifer
"Whoa."
Lucifer
"Did you just number close the nametag girl?"
Lucifer
"Oh."
Lucifer
"Use this wisely. You're welcome."
Lucifer
"♪ What makes a good man... ♪"
Lucifer
"I can't believe you."
Lucifer
"Don't worry, Detective."
Lucifer
"I'm more of a leg man myself."
Lucifer
"Soon as you say the word, you'll have your turn."
Lucifer
"Wow, you've never been rejected by a woman, have you?"
Lucifer
"No."
Lucifer
"MAN: Get your hands off me!"
Lucifer
"I want to talk to Carver Cruz!"
Lucifer
"I need you to leave right now, sir."
Lucifer
"Carver!"
Lucifer
"Carver, can you hear me?!"
Lucifer
"It's the missing girl's brother."
Lucifer
"What'd you do to my sister?!"
Lucifer
"Get out here, you coward!"
Lucifer
"It's okay. I got this."
Lucifer
"- I know him. - No, you don't."
Lucifer
"Look, I'm sorry. He has to leave the premises."
Lucifer
"Oh, I don't think that'll be necessary,"
Lucifer
"officer."
Lucifer
"Besides, isn't this quite boring?"
Lucifer
"I mean, there are several lovely ladies"
Lucifer
"milling around out there."
Lucifer
"Which one do you desire?"
Lucifer
"You."
Lucifer
"I'm gay."
Lucifer
"Oh!"
Lucifer
"Right."
Lucifer
"Well, my dance card's full"
Lucifer
"with this one, I'm afraid."
Lucifer
"But the odds are definitely in your favor out there."
Lucifer
"Probably not batting for the same team,"
Lucifer
"but you never know..."
Lucifer
"So go on, then. Go forth and conquer."
Lucifer
"I know you want to."
Lucifer
"Yeah."
Lucifer
"Right."
Lucifer
"Off you pop. (sighs)"
Lucifer
"You're Lindsay's brother."
Lucifer
"How'd you know that?"
Lucifer
"- Because she's a cop. - Great. Say that louder."
Lucifer
"I don't think everyone heard you."
Lucifer
"(whispering): Right."
Lucifer
"Sorry, yes, we're here undercover"
Lucifer
"to find out what happened to your sister."
Lucifer
"MAN: If you can help me,"
Lucifer
"I'll tell you what happened."
Lucifer
"Carver killed her."
Lucifer
"Killed her? You sure about that?"
Lucifer
"No, but..."
Lucifer
"look, I know my sister."
Lucifer
"She's a good person. She's sweet."
Lucifer
"She wouldn't just run off. She's not even from L.A."
Lucifer
"I'm all she has out here."
Lucifer
"She's all I have."
Lucifer
"Kevin, I promise you,"
Lucifer
"if anyone here hurt your sister, I'll find them."
Lucifer
"LUCIFER: And I'll punish them."
Lucifer
"Any method you prefer."
Lucifer
"Nice solid flogging."
Lucifer
"- Get the ol' swamp nuts in a vice, you know. - Okay."
Lucifer
"It's time to go now."
Lucifer
"Let us handle this,"
Lucifer
"and if we hear anything, we'll be in touch."
Lucifer
"Okay. Thank you."
Lucifer
"Yeah."
Lucifer
"We've got this."
Lucifer
"You have to admit, we're quite a good team."
Lucifer
"If you weren't so pent-up sexually,"
Lucifer
"we'd be firing on all cylinders, I'd say."
Lucifer
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