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Clips from The Goldbergs - A Christmas Story (S03E03)

"Ball ball! Yes! 10 points."
The Goldbergs
"What the hell is this?"
The Goldbergs
"(CHUCKLES) It's called ball ball."
The Goldbergs
"It's this awesome game where you throw the ball back and forth..."
The Goldbergs
"I'm familiar with the game."
The Goldbergs
"I helped invent it."
The Goldbergs
"I added the second "ball.""
The Goldbergs
"And I'm the official World Champion."
The Goldbergs
"Yeah, we don't recognize that federation anymore."
The Goldbergs
"Lainey and I now play for Champion of the Universe!"
The Goldbergs
"I didn't ratify these changes."
The Goldbergs
"Adam, it's fine. You can play."
The Goldbergs
"No! The ball ball he knew is over."
The Goldbergs
"Plus, I wouldn't even be able to explain"
The Goldbergs
"all the changes we made in the past 10 minutes."
The Goldbergs
"Whatever."
The Goldbergs
"Enjoy your stupid game."
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: While I was losing Barry,"
The Goldbergs
"my mom was gonna win over our family with a new holiday plan."
The Goldbergs
"Big news, everyone."
The Goldbergs
"This family's about to experience some exciting changes"
The Goldbergs
"this holiday season."
The Goldbergs
"If it costs me money, it ain't happening."
The Goldbergs
"It'll actually save you money."
The Goldbergs
"It's happening. In the long run."
The Goldbergs
"In the short run, it'll cost way more."
The Goldbergs
"(GROANS)"
The Goldbergs
"I just got back from the Kremps', and guess what."
The Goldbergs
"There are people out there who actually enjoy"
The Goldbergs
"celebrating the holidays together. (CHUCKLES)"
The Goldbergs
"Turns out, it's not that we're not good at family."
The Goldbergs
"It's just that we've been doing it all wrong."
The Goldbergs
"So this year, we're gonna spice things up"
The Goldbergs
"with a little celebration I like to call..."
The Goldbergs
"Super Hanukkah!"
The Goldbergs
"Whoo! Mama's jazzed, and here's why."
The Goldbergs
"We're gonna make Hanukkah sizzle and pop!"
The Goldbergs
"We're gonna decorate the house."
The Goldbergs
"We're gonna drink buttery booze milk"
The Goldbergs
"and put all our gifts under a festive topiary"
The Goldbergs
"together as one big family."
The Goldbergs
"So, like a Christmas tree?"
The Goldbergs
"No! A Hanukkah bush!"
The Goldbergs
"And instead of opening presents on eight separate nights,"
The Goldbergs
"we're gonna save 'em up and open 'em all on one night!"
The Goldbergs
"Or one morning."
The Goldbergs
"So, like Christmas morning?"
The Goldbergs
"No, super Hanukkah morning."
The Goldbergs
"But you better not be naughty,"
The Goldbergs
"or else you-know-who won't bring you any presents."
The Goldbergs
"Santa Claus!"
The Goldbergs
"No! Hanukkah Harry."
The Goldbergs
"The Jon Lovitz character from Saturday Night Live?"
The Goldbergs
"Actually, he's based on a real person."
The Goldbergs
"Don't look it up! Who has the time?"
The Goldbergs
"Just trust me on this."
The Goldbergs
"Well, I'm all for getting this over with in one night."
The Goldbergs
"That's the super Hanukkah spirit!"
The Goldbergs
"And here's a box of lights for you to string up on the house."
The Goldbergs
"This has now become work."
The Goldbergs
"Not work, fun."
The Goldbergs
"Just like the Kremps have."
The Goldbergs
"Now get to work."
The Goldbergs
"I mean fun!"
The Goldbergs
"¶ You better watch out"
The Goldbergs
"¶ You better not cry"
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: And so my mom finally got"
The Goldbergs
"the Hanukkah she always wanted..."
The Goldbergs
"Christmas."
The Goldbergs
"Do it with care."
The Goldbergs
"One that would rival the Kremps'."
The Goldbergs
"Before we knew it,"
The Goldbergs
"we'd all been swept up in the super Hanukkah spirit."
The Goldbergs
"And for the first time ever,"
The Goldbergs
"our house wasn't the only one on the block"
The Goldbergs
"that didn't have festive lights."
The Goldbergs
"Three, two, one."
The Goldbergs
"(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES) (LAUGHS)"
The Goldbergs
"Yeah, baby!"
The Goldbergs
"Looks expensive."
The Goldbergs
"It is! Super Hanukkah!"
The Goldbergs
"¶ Gonna find out"
The Goldbergs
"Oh, my god! (GASPS)"
The Goldbergs
"It's like I gave you a list of stuff I wanted"
The Goldbergs
"and you actually bought it!"
The Goldbergs
"Well, you made the list. I checked it twice."
The Goldbergs
"No socks. No raisins."
The Goldbergs
"No underpants."
The Goldbergs
"Every gift under the bush is better than the last!"
The Goldbergs
"There's more where that came from."
The Goldbergs
"This bad boy's from me."
The Goldbergs
"That's an officially licensed key chain."
The Goldbergs
"(SNIFFS) Very rare."
The Goldbergs
"Stop speaking your stupid words."
The Goldbergs
"Behold the gift Lainey got me, an Eagles jersey!"
The Goldbergs
"My dad re-tiled their training facility."
The Goldbergs
"But the best part..."
The Goldbergs
"The whole team signed it!"
The Goldbergs
"But the limit was $10!"
The Goldbergs
"Oh, it's cool. I got it for free."
The Goldbergs
"I love you so much right now."
The Goldbergs
"This is the holiday of my dreams,"
The Goldbergs
"and I don't ever want it to end, ever!"
The Goldbergs
"¶ You better not pout"
The Goldbergs
"Ever! (CHUCKLES)"
The Goldbergs
"What the hell is this?"
The Goldbergs
"Super Hanukkah!"
The Goldbergs
"¶ Santa Claus ¶ And what is this music?"
The Goldbergs
"Neil Diamond, the voice of our people."
The Goldbergs
"It's a Christmas song!"
The Goldbergs
"My god! Is that a Christmas tree?"
The Goldbergs
"No, it's a Hanukkah bush."
The Goldbergs
"That's not a thing. A..."
The Goldbergs
"Oh, my lord."
The Goldbergs
"Did you hang stockings by the chimney with care?"
The Goldbergs
"Not stockings, Hanukkah socks."
The Goldbergs
"Ma, we're running out of candy canes."
The Goldbergs
"Not candy canes."
The Goldbergs
"Peppermint J's."
The Goldbergs
"Can I wet your whistle with some Hanu-nog?"
The Goldbergs
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