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Clips from The Goldbergs - A Christmas Story (S03E03)

"ADULT ADAM: Back in the day,"
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"winter break was my favorite time of year."
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"The hot cocoa, the gift-wrapping,"
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"the taste of buttery popcorn"
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"as you watched your favorite holiday movie."
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"For me and my big bro, it was A Christmas Story."
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"For some reason, it just spoke to us."
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"The Sox traded bullfrog, the only player they got,"
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"for Shottenhoffen."
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"The Phils are trading Ryne Sandberg for Larry Bowa!"
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"It's ludicrous!"
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"Ralphie! On the double!"
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"Everybody get your asses in here!"
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"We didn't do Christmas, but we had Hanukkah."
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"And that meant lots of forced family time"
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"and Eastern European foods."
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"Gah! What's that smell?"
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"Lucky, not cool!"
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"ADULT ADAM: But it wasn't the dog. It was this."
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"Stuffed cabbage time!"
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"Let's go! It's freakin' Hanukkah!"
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"Again? Didn't we just do that?"
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"Yeah, last year. Go set the table."
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"ADULT ADAM: A lot of people think that because there are"
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"eight nights of Hanukkah, you get eight awesome presents."
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"Truth is, they were mostly filler."
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"Shoelaces."
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"Batteries. Underpants."
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"I got to go. I got a thing."
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"ADULT ADAM: As the days stretched on, so were the limits"
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"of what was considered a present."
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"School supplies."
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"Raisins. Underpants."
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"I got to go. I got a thing."
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"ADULT ADAM: By night 8, it was straight-up bottom of the barrel."
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"Toothbrush."
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"Zit cream? More underpants?"
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"What is the deal, people?"
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"Zit cream isn't a gift! It's an insult!"
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"I'm gonna go. I got a..."
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"Thing. We know. You've got a thing."
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"And your new underpants are a gift for me, Barry."
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"ADULT ADAM: Even if we didn't have the holiday spirit,"
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"we tried our best to make it fun."
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"What the hell happened to all the sour cream?"
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"Adam dared me."
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"I ate it, along with the rest of the condiments."
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"In your face, mustards and jams!"
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"What is the one rule we have in this house, huh?"
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"No daring Barry to do stupid stuff."
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"Why? 'Cause I have no regard for my personal well-being."
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"ADULT ADAM: Frankly, for us, it wasn't the most joyous holiday,"
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"especially after visiting the Christmas wonderland"
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"at the Kremps'."
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"Daisy, it's the Goldbergs!"
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"(BABY VOICE) Hello, Goldbergs."
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"(LAUGHS) We've been expecting you!"
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"Merry Chris... Holiday."
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"Winter fest."
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"Welcome!"
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"Oh, uh, Charles is out back"
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"splitting wood for the Yule fire."
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"Do you want to give him a hand, Murray?"
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"He's good. I believe in him."
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"Can I wet your whistle with some eggnog?"
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"Don't forget your cinnamon stick."
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"Be careful. Scott is our college boy,"
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"and he makes a strong nog."
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"Mom? Did you finally give me that BB gun I always wanted?"
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"Oh, this is a snare drum, isn't it?"
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"I told you, no peeking, okay?"
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"I want the two of you back to icing that gingerbread house."
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"Chad, put down the snare drum."
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"I knew it!"
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"He gets me every year."
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"Okay, what are my eyes looking at?"
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"Nothing. They're just excited for Kremp Christmas."
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"But why are your kids here, willingly participating?"
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"What else are they gonna do? Seriously?"
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"You mean to tell me you're that good at family?"
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"Good at family? That's not a saying."
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"Oh, it's a saying, and you are good at family."
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"You are good at family."
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"We're fine at family."
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"You're fab at family. We're not."
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"It's been fun. It has."
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"Let's do it again sometime."
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"Uh, but let's not make a plan. We'll wing it."
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"Oh, Murray, before you go,"
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"I have the teensiest of favors to ask you."
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"Our Santa fell through this year,"
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"and it would just mean the world to us"
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"if you could just pop over and hand out some gifts."
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"Thank you so much for thinking of him."
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"He'd love to."
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"Murray, you'll put on the suit."
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"Or..."
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"¶ I'm twisted up inside"
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"¶ But nonetheless, I feel the need to say"
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"¶ I don't know the future"
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"¶ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ¶"
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"ADULT ADAM: It was December 23, 1980-something."
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"Christmas vacation."
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"That meant my brother's dopey friends were out of town,"
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"and I was his only playmate."
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"The alone time with Barry was awesome!"
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"It's how we came up with our favorite brotherly game, ball ball."
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"There were hundreds of rules, but the most important"
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"was every time you took a shot, you had to yell..."
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"Ball ball!"
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"Ball ball! Ball ball!"
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"Whoo!"
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"Nine points."
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"I win. Suck it!"
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"Looks like the trophy is mine."
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"Damn it! You cheated! Rematch!"
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"ADULT ADAM: It was days and days of bro-ing out with Barry."
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"You ready, Barry?"
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"You better be, 'cause we're about to play some..."
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"Ball ball! Ball ball!"
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