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Clips from Modern Family (2009) - Ringmaster Keifth (S08E08)

"No, Mitch. Don't put that horrible thing out in the universe!"
Modern Family (2009)
"Dad, you still haven't done that?"
Modern Family (2009)
"They haven't updated their paperwork since Joe was born."
Modern Family (2009)
"Uh, God forbid something bad should happen to them..."
Modern Family (2009)
"we don't even know who'd they want to raise Joe."
Modern Family (2009)
"Shh!"
Modern Family (2009)
"Will you stop scaring her?"
Modern Family (2009)
"I spend more money on eyelashes"
Modern Family (2009)
"than most of you do on health care."
Modern Family (2009)
"Fine, we'll do it today."
Modern Family (2009)
"What better way to start the new year"
Modern Family (2009)
"than by preparing for the worst?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Speaking of alive dads,"
Modern Family (2009)
"- there's mine! - Oh!"
Modern Family (2009)
"- So good to see you! - Oh!"
Modern Family (2009)
"How was the drive?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Fantastic."
Modern Family (2009)
"- My radio broke around Tallahassee. - Aw."
Modern Family (2009)
"But is there a better entertainment source"
Modern Family (2009)
"than the billboards of America?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Apparently, syphilis is making a comeback."
Modern Family (2009)
"Plus, you had me to keep you company."
Modern Family (2009)
"Lorraine?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Lorraine was my babysitter growing up."
Modern Family (2009)
"She was also my first crush"
Modern Family (2009)
"and also the star of my first, um..."
Modern Family (2009)
""funny dream.""
Modern Family (2009)
"Yeah, Lorraine used to bring out"
Modern Family (2009)
"- the holy terror in Phil. - Oh."
Modern Family (2009)
"It seemed like he wanted to be spanked by her."
Modern Family (2009)
"No, I did not."
Modern Family (2009)
"How long has this been going on?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Well, we reconnected earlier this year on jury duty."
Modern Family (2009)
"I was the lone holdout"
Modern Family (2009)
"- on a triple homicide case. - Mm."
Modern Family (2009)
"You can just feel"
Modern Family (2009)
"- when someone is innocent, you know? - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm."
Modern Family (2009)
"But Lorraine said she'd go out to lunch with me if I changed my vote,"
Modern Family (2009)
"so here we are."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Phil, did... did you ever dream... - No."
Modern Family (2009)
"Last time I saw you, you came up to here."
Modern Family (2009)
"Okay, Claire will take you that way to the back yard."
Modern Family (2009)
"I'll go through the house so we can finally know which way's faster."
Modern Family (2009)
"Okay, just a few simple questions,"
Modern Family (2009)
"and your estate planning is done."
Modern Family (2009)
"What is this?"
Modern Family (2009)
"We don't need to put aside money for Manny's college."
Modern Family (2009)
"I already took care of it."
Modern Family (2009)
"When Manny was born, I didn't want to rely on anyone,"
Modern Family (2009)
"so I started saving money from my paycheck."
Modern Family (2009)
"Eventually, I made enough money for Manny's college,"
Modern Family (2009)
"so if anything happens, he'll be okay."
Modern Family (2009)
"That's amazing."
Modern Family (2009)
"How did I not see this in the bank statements?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Why would I put money that I might need"
Modern Family (2009)
"to run away with in the middle of night"
Modern Family (2009)
"in the bank?"
Modern Family (2009)
"I put it in my disappear bag."
Modern Family (2009)
"It's hard not to take that personally, but, um,"
Modern Family (2009)
"where is this bag?"
Modern Family (2009)
"It's in... in..."
Modern Family (2009)
"- You forgot? - No."
Modern Family (2009)
"That's why I made a song"
Modern Family (2009)
"so that it would always help me remember."
Modern Family (2009)
"♪ My disappear bag, my disappear bag ♪"
Modern Family (2009)
"♪ I hid you very safely in the ♪"
Modern Family (2009)
"I don't know."
Modern Family (2009)
"One second."
Modern Family (2009)
"Okay, Cam, what are we..."
Modern Family (2009)
"Okay. Just... just be cool. Just be cool."
Modern Family (2009)
"Be cool? You just jangled across the yard like a big country tambourine."
Modern Family (2009)
"All right, well, apparently, the fire went out and I didn't notice,"
Modern Family (2009)
"and now this pig is as cold as your family is gonna be"
Modern Family (2009)
"when they figure out I ruined another meal."
Modern Family (2009)
"Okay, this is bad."
Modern Family (2009)
"My dad does not like to be pork teased."
Modern Family (2009)
"Well, maybe we can get a replacement pig."
Modern Family (2009)
"Do you think your concierge thing could help out?"
Modern Family (2009)
"But I just got it today,"
Modern Family (2009)
"and... and the card says, "For Mitch stuff.""
Modern Family (2009)
"Mitchell, one of my resolutions"
Modern Family (2009)
"was to cry less outside the home."
Modern Family (2009)
"- Please help me get through this day. - Gosh."
Modern Family (2009)
"You know they only got me six hours, right?"
Modern Family (2009)
"I know. Thank you."
Modern Family (2009)
"Okay."
Modern Family (2009)
"Thank you for calling E-Butler, Mr. Pritchett."
Modern Family (2009)
"How may I make your day more E-fficient?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Okay, um, well, this is a weird request."
Modern Family (2009)
"Keep in mind, erotic tasks are billed at twice the normal rate."
Modern Family (2009)
"Uh, no, I-I need you to secretly deliver a whole roasted pig."
Modern Family (2009)
"With extreme pleasure."
Modern Family (2009)
"Requests like these remind me why I E-buttle."
Modern Family (2009)
"I knew that voice."
Modern Family (2009)
"It was Keifth."
Modern Family (2009)
"When I first moved here,"
Modern Family (2009)
"I was just a young Missouri hayseed."
Modern Family (2009)
"I-I bought a ticket to the circus one day,"
Modern Family (2009)
"and there in the middle of all the action,"
Modern Family (2009)
"in an impeccably pressed tuxedo, was Ringmaster Keifth."
Modern Family (2009)
"I started hanging out at circus bars until we met."
Modern Family (2009)
"The attraction was immediate."
Modern Family (2009)
"He was older, always in command of a room,"
Modern Family (2009)
"which makes sense because a room is just a permanent tent."
Modern Family (2009)
"We dated for six months."
Modern Family (2009)
"He transformed me"
Modern Family (2009)
"into the sophisticate that we all know today."
Modern Family (2009)
"And then, he suddenly disappeared."
Modern Family (2009)
"No goodbye. No note."
Modern Family (2009)
"Just some peanut shells on the floor that must have..."
Modern Family (2009)
"fallen from his glorious black boot."
Modern Family (2009)
"I found a trattoria in Little Polynesia"
Modern Family (2009)
"- that can spare a fully roasted pig. - Mitchell."
Modern Family (2009)
"Sorry for the delay."
Modern Family (2009)
"It w... it was a minute and a half."
Modern Family (2009)
"You can't know my shame."
Modern Family (2009)
"I'll deliver the porcine parcel within the hour."
Modern Family (2009)
"Okay, that... that is great. I will... I will see you then."
Modern Family (2009)
"What is wrong with you?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Okay, my circus boyfriend"
Modern Family (2009)
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