Loading...
You're not connected to the Internet. Please check your connection.

Clips from Weeds - To Moscow, and Quickly (S06E06)

"- Boring. - What?"
Weeds
""Patient's name: Avi." No."
Weeds
""Clovis Ludwig McKenzie-Newman.""
Weeds
"God, you used to be more fun, you know that?"
Weeds
"Mischievous like a minx."
Weeds
"My child is sick."
Weeds
""Mother's occupation." There. You know you want to."
Weeds
"Skydiver."
Weeds
"Interesting."
Weeds
"I was gonna say home wrecker, but skydiver's way more positive."
Weeds
"Probably safer."
Weeds
"Father's occupation is scrappy do-gooder, or hunky alpha male."
Weeds
"Roving sex god."
Weeds
"- Dead. - What, dead?"
Weeds
"That's easier. Dead."
Weeds
"Easier than what? Saying I'm alive?"
Weeds
"Who said anything about you?"
Weeds
"I'm the dad. We've clearly established that."
Weeds
"- Sure. For now. - Excuse me?"
Weeds
"For now. You're totally the dad."
Weeds
"Daddy Andy. Not dead. See? Look."
Weeds
"I'll write, "Randy Newman, dad.""
Weeds
"Diplomat."
Weeds
"Cultural attache."
Weeds
"So wait, are you... Just so we're clear."
Weeds
"Are you saying I'm here on a temporary basis?"
Weeds
"That you're what, planning some other imaginary future without me?"
Weeds
"You said be creative."
Weeds
"Are you ready to bounce, boogie, shake it and do the twist?"
Weeds
"Come on, let's get up and dance!"
Weeds
"Her name is Medusa."
Weeds
"So we're gonna tell Stevie what? That I'm his uncle?"
Weeds
"I don't know. We'll figure it out when we get there."
Weeds
"And in this yet to be determined "there,""
Weeds
"do you picture me having a wifelDanish lover, Femke?"
Weeds
"Living with us in one of those polyamorous free-Iove situations?"
Weeds
"Or are we gonna do more of a joint custody sort of thing?"
Weeds
"You take weekdays, I take the Sabbath and all major U.S. Holidays."
Weeds
"It's all totally possible, except for the polygamy thing."
Weeds
"Polyamory. 'Cause I'm just... I'm confused about the rules here."
Weeds
"There aren't any rules."
Weeds
"But there are."
Weeds
"'Cause clearly you're allowed to fuck people."
Weeds
"Married bartenders."
Weeds
"But me, no, God forbid."
Weeds
"You can... whoever you want. Be my guest... away."
Weeds
"Okay, I will. Working on it."
Weeds
"- Good. - Yeah. See that nurse over there?"
Weeds
"Done."
Weeds
"- Femke. - What?"
Weeds
"Danish lover."
Weeds
"Yeah. 'Cause the women in Denmark are Danish."
Weeds
"And the men, too."
Weeds
"And I'm gonna live in Denmark someday,"
Weeds
"as long as I'm not in some American jail for aiding and abetting."
Weeds
"Since when do you plan to live in Denmark?"
Weeds
"Since forever. That's my Moscow."
Weeds
"My Shangri-la, my Pittsburgh, my Candy Mountain."
Weeds
"Have you never read any Russian literature, you uneducated woman?"
Weeds
"- Dance major. - Shut up. I've read stuff."
Weeds
"I figure five, 10 years tops, left,"
Weeds
"before I start my real life."
Weeds
"Unless, I guess,"
Weeds
"I'm raising Stevie."
Weeds
"Am I?"
Weeds
"- Raising Stevie? - I don't know."
Weeds
"- So... - I told you we'll figure it out."
Weeds
"- When? - When we need to."
Weeds
"You mean whenever you've found husband number four"
Weeds
"and all of a sudden I'm back out in the cold."
Weeds
"I never..."
Weeds
"I'm not a substitute teacher, Nance. I'm invested."
Weeds
"- I need to be a part of this conversation. - Andy..."
Weeds
"'Cause I'm already a part of this kid's life..."
Weeds
"Grab Stevie. We can get to the door in less than 10 seconds."
Weeds
"Nathalie Newman."
Weeds
"Nathalie Newman?"
Weeds
"Here."
Weeds
"So you're a Zoobie Woobie."
Weeds
"Understudy."
Weeds
"Yeah, the lead singer's taking a "personal week.""
Weeds
"Hepatitis."
Weeds
"This opening band sucks balls."
Weeds
"Tell me about it, right?"
Weeds
"I mean, a song about fruit salad?"
Weeds
"Eff that stuff sideways."
Weeds
"Because "eat a papaya" does not rhyme with "join the choir.""
Weeds
"Okay? It doesn't."
Weeds
"Rhyme butchers."
Weeds
"- What do you guys sing about? - Animals."
Weeds
"Morality."
Weeds
"- Nice. - Thanks."
Weeds
"My grandpop used to sing songs about this lamb"
Weeds
"who offed his dad and shtupped his mom."
Weeds
"And in the end,"
Weeds
"the lamb throws himself from an overpass to escape his sins."
Weeds
"Kind of like my grandpop."
Weeds
"Yeah, you see, that... That is what I'm talking about."
Weeds
"Tiny pretzel?"
Weeds
"I like to lick the salt off a pretzel."
Weeds
"- Then I put them back in the bag... - In the bag?"
Weeds
"And people eat them. They don't know I licked the salt off."
Weeds
"People are stupid."
Weeds
"What the fuck, Andy?"
Weeds
"Yeah. It's all good out here. Jovial atmosphere."
Weeds
"I've made three friends. All bitten by the same spider."
Weeds
"They're convinced they're gonna turn into superheroes."
Weeds
"I haven't had the heart to tell them about sepsis."
Weeds
"It was a small picture, right?"
Weeds
"And what kind of bullshit station is that, anyway?"
Weeds
"Hey, do you like cartoons?"
Weeds
"Here."
Weeds
"- What? - Nothing. It's fine."
Weeds
"Everything's under control."
Weeds
"How's giraffe doctor?"
Weeds
"Larson? We've only seen the nurse. I hate doctors' offices. This was stupid."
Weeds
"This was a bad idea."
Weeds
"Okay, Clovis. Let's see that tush."
Weeds
"I can sell you beer but you can't drink it inside the stadium."
Weeds
"Silas, you want peanuts? I'm buying."
Weeds
Show more clips