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Clips from The Monkees - The Prince and the Paupers (S01E01)

"You must be out of your mind!"
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"Oh, come on, Davy. Ludlow's in a jam, and you could help him out."
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"But running a country even for a few days takes a man of peculiar talents."
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"Well, you have some of the most peculiar talents I've ever seen."
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"Well, what do you say, Mr. Jones?"
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"Heh heh heh heh heh."
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"But, sire, I am trying to tell you."
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"I peeked into the throne room a moment ago to see how ridiculous"
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"the prince was making himself with that girl, and he wasn't!"
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"She likes him. I know, sire, but can we depend on the"
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"prince's shyness to keep him unmarried another month?"
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"Yes. Yes, sire."
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"Yes, I am sure our plan will not miscarry."
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"You will rule Peruvia, but you must listen to me!"
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"He is not as shy as we thought."
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"Oh, comb your hair. Oh, you're so beautiful today, prince."
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"Heads up, heads up!"
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"Should be a king, you really should."
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"Will you knock it off?!"
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"I don't know how I get myself into these things."
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"Hey, Prince Ludlow, is it possible the count"
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"might be trying to keep you from getting married?"
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"But-but, the count is a fine man;"
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"he's generous, and he's loyal, and he's-he's kind-hearted."
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"Yeah, well, I'm hip; that's why I don't trust him."
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"Look, uh, I'm gonna stay here;"
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"you guys can split back to the pad with the prince."
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"Right, we'll stay with the prince!"
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"Right."
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"Right. Listen, while Davy is winning the girl for you,"
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"you're gonna come back with us,"
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"and you're gonna learn how to act after you got her. Huh?"
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"Right, I'll teach ya everything I know."
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"Maybe I'd better stay here."
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"Hey, don't forget to free the serfs."
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"Ha ha ha ha ha. Very funny."
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"You know, this is okay, but who am I gonna tell 'em you are?"
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"Well, whatever's right."
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"Shh!"
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"Uh, what it it?"
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"Uh, your highness,"
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"I have some information for you that will be very useful:"
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"information about treason."
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"For one thousand dollars, you will remember me all your life."
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"Well, that is the most nauseating proposition I ever heard!"
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"But I don't have a thousand dollars."
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"Yeah."
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"Those are the breaks."
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"I'm getting out of here! I didn't count on any palace intrigues!"
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"I came here to win a girl, and I'll probably end up getting killed."
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"Well, look, Davy, nobody's gonna kill anybody."
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"You got a promise you gotta keep to Ludlow!"
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"Alright, I'll do it. I'll go in there,"
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"I'll substitute for Ludlow, I'll win the girl,"
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"and I'll probably end up getting killed."
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"Well, that's nice."
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"Give me that!"
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"Get off!"
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"When I go through this door,"
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"I'll be the Prince of Peruvia."
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"Good luck."
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"Heh. Wrong door."
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"I-I'm very, very hungry. Is-is there anything to eat in there?"
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"Well, there's some, uh, Limburger cheese and a can of"
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"sardines and some liverwurst that's been here for two weeks;"
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"what'll I open first?"
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"How about the window?"
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"Okay, Ludlow, now, you got the girl here,"
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"you like her, and she likes you."
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"Now, you gotta get acquainted, right?"
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"You may kiss my hand."
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"Uh, you may kiss my ring."
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"Where did you get this note?"
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"The Forsythe girl asked me to deliver it to the prince."
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""My dearest Ludlow, I fear I am falling in love with you:"
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"She forgot his character."
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"We must kill the prince."
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"This afternoon, when you give the prince his dueling lesson..."
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"Poison?"
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"Well, it ain't French dressing. Heh heh heh heh!"
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"And-and then, Gloria, my-my Uncle Charles"
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"the Fourth married my Aunt Louisa the Second,"
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"and-and they had a son who was Edward the Ninth."
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"Hey, it's after six, and Davy was supposed to call."
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"You don't think anything happened?"
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"No, we would've heard if anything had happened to him."
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"Yeah, I suppose so."
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"Still, does he have any identification?"
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"Yeah, he has a birthmark."
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"Does it have his address on it?"
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"Give me that!"
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"Hey, come on! I'm famished; I haven't eaten since breakfast."
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"Heh heh heh heh heh heh."
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"Heh, come on, give it me!"
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"Prince Ludlow, when you are ready for your fencing lesson, we will begin."
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"Oh, don't worry; I was quite a fencer at school."
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"I'll tell you what we're gonna do, Max."
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"Like Cyrano, I'll compose a poem as I duel,"
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"and on the last line, I'll get ya. En garde!"
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"The boy stood on the burning deck He didn't think he oughta"
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"He took his shoes and stockings off And his feet were in the water Longfellow."
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"Oh, thank you very much. I'll take this one."
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"Are you ready, Max? Let's try it again. En garde!"
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"Eh, you will forgive me, your highness, but, uh,"
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"I have some urgent business to attend to. Your highness."
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"Now, what was wrong with him?"
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"I wasn't gonna hurt him. I was just gonna go up to him."
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"I was gonna stick him."
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"You know, Count Myron is very uptight about this whole thing."
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"We gotta act very fast. Uh, you know what to do when Wendy gets here?"
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"Miss, uh, Wendy Forsythe."
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"Miss Forsythe, uh, I mean, Wendy, will you marry me?"
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"Ooh, that's fast!"
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"Oh, shut up!"
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"Why, yes! Oh, yes, I will!"
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"Uh, go get the c-uh, go find, um, um-summon the count!"
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"Ludlow, I'm so happy. There's no one in the world like you."
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"I wouldn't be too sure about that."
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"Heh heh, shut up, Mike."
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"Count Myron, Miss Forsythe and I wish to be married at once."
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