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Clips from Archer - Best Friends (S11E11)

"‐ Maybe we should focus on Ray being gutted in the jungle."
Archer
"‐ Maybe we should focus on your obvious jealousy of Aleister."
Archer
"- [beanbag fires] - [grunts]"
Archer
"‐ Wow. I honestly didn't know it could do that."
Archer
"‐ I took the liberty of installing the beanbag round"
Archer
"as a nonlethal office alternative."
Archer
"‐ Ha‐ha! Nonlethal violence"
Archer
"is my second favorite kind!"
Archer
"‐ Enough! Cyril, go rescue Ray."
Archer
"His legs are valuable tech."
Archer
"‐ Oh, I would love to fight 30 men with weird knives,"
Archer
"but, gosh darn it, I'm out of commission."
Archer
"‐ Yeah, when did you break your arm?"
Archer
"- On the last mission? - No, I was on that mission."
Archer
"‐ I broke it right at the end, after you finished missioning."
Archer
"‐ Fine. Sterling, go rescue Ray."
Archer
"‐ Not possible, Mother. I'm still breaking in Aleister."
Archer
"The first two weeks are crucial for establishing dominance."
Archer
"‐ Give me the jet and I'll rescue him."
Archer
"‐ Done."
Archer
"‐ And I never even named a beneficiary"
Archer
"on my life insurance."
Archer
"‐ So more recovery than rescue."
Archer
"‐ At least that beach behind him looks nice."
Archer
"‐ God, does no one in this office know"
Archer
"how to finish a sandwich?"
Archer
"‐ It would be my pleasure"
Archer
"to clean out your refrigerator, ma'am."
Archer
"‐ Phrasing?"
Archer
"‐ Oh, Aleister. Nice to see you again."
Archer
"‐ Please, allow me."
Archer
"- No, I couldn't. - Really?"
Archer
"You don't strike me as a woman who can't do things."
Archer
"‐ Oh, Aleister! [giggles]"
Archer
"You're bad."
Archer
"‐ Am I interrupting something?"
Archer
"‐ I'm honestly not sure."
Archer
"‐ Not at all, sir."
Archer
"Would you like to squeeze this lemon into my eyes?"
Archer
"‐ Uh, love where your head's at Aleister, but later."
Archer
"Right now, I need you to reload my cane."
Archer
"‐ Right away, sir. Ma'am, a pleasure."
Archer
"‐ Likewise. In terms of pleasure."
Archer
"‐ Okay, Mother,"
Archer
"I'll only ask this incredibly traumatic question once."
Archer
"Are you into Aleister?"
Archer
"‐ Don't be absurd. He's your valet."
Archer
"And yes, he's handsome"
Archer
"and I'm a woman with powerful needs‐‐"
Archer
"‐ Mother, it's okay. Stop. I mean, gross."
Archer
"But you're right. The man is perfect."
Archer
"You'd have to be insane not to want him to‐‐"
Archer
"‐ Clean out your refrigerator?"
Archer
"Pam: Absolutely. Look at that grip."
Archer
"He could twist a pineapple in half."
Archer
"‐ But he's a gross servant and it's totally forbidden."
Archer
"[whispering] Is how I'd get things going."
Archer
"‐ Can I help you, ladies?"
Archer
"‐ Just keep doing what you're doing, Aleister."
Archer
"[keyboard clacking]"
Archer
"Lana: Since you're not going on the mission,"
Archer
"you can handle my paperwork."
Archer
"‐ But this is, like, eight missions' worth."
Archer
"‐ Fine, you can go get stabbed in a jungle."
Archer
"‐ It'll be done when you're back."
Archer
"But let it be known that I'm not happy about it."
Archer
"- [intercom beeps] - Lana to the situation room."
Archer
"If you're free."
Archer
"‐ Oh, office work. Can't get hurt by you."
Archer
"[groans]"
Archer
"‐ Sorry. Just testing the range."
Archer
"- Aleister, reload me. - Don't reload him."
Archer
"[both grunting]"
Archer
"‐ Holy shit, Aleister. What was that?"
Archer
"‐ A technique from my old employer,"
Archer
"General Bernard Montgomery."
Archer
"‐ You knew the Spartan General?"
Archer
"‐ [laughs] Old Monty, yes."
Archer
"He also enjoyed his Manhattans."
Archer
"Will you take yours in your office, sir?"
Archer
"‐ Oh, I don't have an office."
Archer
"I used to, but it just kept blowing up."
Archer
"‐ You do now."
Archer
"I took the liberty"
Archer
"of repurposing an unused storage space,"
Archer
"with your mother's approval, of course."
Archer
"‐ Seriously? Cyril, did you just hear that?"
Archer
"I have an office! Cyril, Cyril, Cyril!"
Archer
"- What?! - I have an office."
Archer
"Krieger: In Fiji."
Archer
"‐ So?"
Archer
"‐ So what is Ray's tracking chip"
Archer
"doing in the Pacific"
Archer
"if his body is dying in an African jungle?"
Archer
"‐ I don't know. Maybe they removed the chip."
Archer
"‐ Well, that's what I thought too."
Archer
"But his secret second tracker is also in Fiji,"
Archer
"and that can't be removed without killing the host."
Archer
"- What? - I mean, maybe someone can."
Archer
"I certainly can't."
Archer
"Anyway, I thought I'd tell Ms. Archer."
Archer
"‐ No, no, no, no. Uh, don't worry about it."
Archer
"‐ Don't worry about Ray's trackers"
Archer
"being on the opposite side of the world"
Archer
"from where we think he is?"
Archer
"‐ Can you keep a secret?"
Archer
"‐ Did an entire breed of Chilean llamas"
Archer
"go extinct two months ago?"
Archer
"‐ I... don't know?"
Archer
"‐ Exactly!"
Archer
"Archer: [cackling]"
Archer
"What I always wanted."
Archer
"Minus the bookshelf."
Archer
"Seems like a missed opportunity."
Archer
"‐ In that case, you might enjoy"
Archer
""Mr. Boston's Bartender Guide.""
Archer
"‐ [laughs] It's whimsically practical!"
Archer
"Uh, forget about the lemon going in your eyes."
Archer
"Put it in the cocktail."
Archer
"I'm gonna go get Cyril"
Archer
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