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Clips from Bust Down - Post Nut Promises (S01E01)

"- Relax. - Sam, you got me fucked up."
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"- I don't know why you fucked up."
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"Can you calm down? Okay?"
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"It's not that serious. - It is that fucking serious."
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"- No, it's not. You're new at this."
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"- So our relationship is not serious?"
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"- I'm not saying that. - You lied to me."
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"- I didn't lie to you. - You did."
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"- No, I didn't. - Now you sure you're okay"
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"with me taking the leftovers?"
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"- You take it, baby."
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"Eat it for your lunch tomorrow. - Okay."
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"I mean, honestly, I'm not even sure"
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"why you would order jambalaya at The Fondue Factory."
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"I mean, I feel like the menu here is just a list of foods"
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"the chef has kind of heard of, you know?"
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"- Well, when we get home,"
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"I'm gonna show you something I kind of heard of."
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"[whispering] And there will be a few animals involved."
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"- Madam, this is a family restaurant."
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"- Oh."
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"- Will you keep your voice down?"
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"- Keep my voice down for what, Sam?"
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"- Because everybody's looking at us."
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"- I don't give a fuck who's looking at us."
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"- Why do you have to be such a bitch?"
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"- Who the fuck you calling a bitch?"
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"- Oh! - You got me fucked up."
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"- God damn! - Uh!"
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"- Get your hands off me!"
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"- Oh! - Ooh."
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"- I'm fuckin' tired of your raggedy ass shit."
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"- That little lady beating the bald fade off that big lady."
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"- You shit-- - I'll show you [indistinct]"
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"[screaming]"
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"What the-- [plates shattering]"
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"- [groans]"
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"- Let me go."
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"- Lang?"
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"- I'ma fucking kill you, bitch."
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"Where the fuck you think you going?"
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"- Okay, I'ma be real with you."
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"The girl getting her ass kicked is my friend."
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"- What? - And she wouldn't want me"
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"to see her like this."
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"So we, you and I, we gotta go."
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"- You don't wanna help her?"
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"- Nah, I think the wait staff got it."
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"[grunting] - Please stop."
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"You're killing her!"
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"- Okay. Well, now it's something"
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"only "The Steve Wilkos Show" can solve."
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"So we are out."
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"[people screaming]"
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"- Bitch, I'ma kill you."
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"[cheerful music]"
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"* *"
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"- If I'm eating a celebrity's poop,"
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"it's gonna be Erykah Badu."
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"- Mm. Well, I'll go Winnie Harlow."
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"Her poops probably comes out like little marble cakes."
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"- Ooh!"
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"Like a fancy countertop. I like that."
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"- Guys. Guys, stop. Just stop, okay?"
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"The correct answer is Emma Watson."
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"Huh? She got the little"
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"British rabbit poops."
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"That's basically a Raisinet."
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"- Ooh, I do like Raisinets."
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"- Put that in your pocket, go to the movies."
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"- We talking poop? - Yeah."
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"- Yo!"
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"- Jesus and Joseph Christ. Who John Wick-ed you?"
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"- Nina. I don't--whatever. I don't know."
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"Um, if I was gonna eat some celebrity poop though,"
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"it would have to be Lisa Bonet."
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"Her poops probably come out clean like a cup of soft serve."
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"- Dude, is no one-- I'm sorry."
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"I'm still, like, processing that Nina's a bad dude."
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"- Bitch wild, you know? What you gonna do?"
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"- You good? - I'm all right."
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"- Yeah, yeah, yeah, but Nina though?"
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"An abuser? Man, she always seemed"
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"like the type that, like, lets abuse go on too long"
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"'cause she has boundary issues."
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"- Look, I don't know what to tell y'all, okay?"
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"Things just got a little out of hand."
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"Nothing to worry about. Now if you'll excuse me,"
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"I'm gonna go grab one of Diane's"
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"yogurt cups to stick on my eye--"
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"- No, Sam--Sam, don't."
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"Mm--damn."
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"- You pus-colored piece of shit."
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"I knew you were there last night."
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"- What? - It was either"
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"you or Chico DeBarge."
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"- Okay. Well--well, you--"
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"you didn't get beat up by Nina."
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"You got beat up by an Asian lady"
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"who wouldn't stop saying the N word."
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"- Whoa, whoa, whoa. You were there?"
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"And you didn't jump in and help?"
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"- That part. - Whoa, whoa, whoa again."
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"Asian people are saying the N word now?"
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"Oh, we gotta remaster all the "Rush Hours.""
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"Jackie, gun. "Can't you see I'm hanging"
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"off a chandelier, doing kung fu, nigga?""
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"- I can't believe you didn't help me."
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"You watched her pour a mango margarita on my head."
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"- No, I left before that."
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"And it just didn't seem right"
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"to get involved in a domestic violence situation."
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"- Well, it wasn't a domestic violence situation, bro."
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"We don't even live together."
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"It was just regular violence, you dumbass."
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"- That doesn't seem right."
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"- But bro, I'm not just some random bitch."
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"You know me."
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"I taught you how to put dryer sheets on the A/C"
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"so that smell would go away."
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