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Clips from Mr. Mayor - Mayor Daddy (S02E02)

"Well if it's all a housing cost issue,"
Mr. Mayor
"we can just raise the minimum wage--"
Mr. Mayor
"To keep up with inflation."
Mr. Mayor
"We need to raise it to $47 an hour."
Mr. Mayor
"What else you got? - Okay."
Mr. Mayor
"Um, we could build more single room occupancy units--"
Mr. Mayor
"NIMBY. Angelenos don't want 'em in their backyards."
Mr. Mayor
"Community boards block that every time we try it. Next."
Mr. Mayor
"Then declare a state of emergency--"
Mr. Mayor
"Those are just for show."
Mr. Mayor
"Don't give us extra funding or power."
Mr. Mayor
"Okay. Give everyone Equinox memberships."
Mr. Mayor
"And clear everybody out by 5:00 AM for "Best Butt Ever"?"
Mr. Mayor
"Let them live on failed sitcom sets--"
Mr. Mayor
"The kitchens don't work,"
Mr. Mayor
"and it's hard to get rid of Patti Heaton vibes."
Mr. Mayor
"Mattresses made out of thrown-out wigs"
Mr. Mayor
"from Hamburger Mary's--"
Mr. Mayor
"Ms. Shaw, we tried all these."
Mr. Mayor
"The quick fix solutions never get anywhere"
Mr. Mayor
"because the city won't admit how bad the problem even is."
Mr. Mayor
"This is just so demoralizing."
Mr. Mayor
"I know it's a heavy issue,"
Mr. Mayor
"which is why network comedy shouldn't even go there."
Mr. Mayor
"Some problems have an easy solution."
Mr. Mayor
"I picked my haircut 40 years ago"
Mr. Mayor
"and never looked back."
Mr. Mayor
"But others? You just got to be in the fight for the long haul."
Mr. Mayor
"♪"
Mr. Mayor
"I'm gonna run for chancellor. Yeah!"
Mr. Mayor
"[chatter]"
Mr. Mayor
"Excited for the day, Mr. Mayor."
Mr. Mayor
"To keep you from playing games on your phone,"
Mr. Mayor
"I asked Orly to help me change your lock screen."
Mr. Mayor
"- Gah! - "Gah," indeed, sir."
Mr. Mayor
"Arpi, I want you to know that I am fully committed to this."
Mr. Mayor
"Well, let's start with an easy one."
Mr. Mayor
"How many work hours a year"
Mr. Mayor
"does the average Angelino lose to preventable diarrhea?"
Mr. Mayor
"Let's take a look."
Mr. Mayor
"No, no, no."
Mr. Mayor
"As you can see, there's some historical parking spots"
Mr. Mayor
"right here in your City Hall. Go ahead and click on one, sir."
Mr. Mayor
""This is where Bill Hollywood came up with the idea"
Mr. Mayor
"that movies should suck.""
Mr. Mayor
"Okay, you know what, I asked Bryce the intern"
Mr. Mayor
"to help me with this,"
Mr. Mayor
"and I guess he had some fun at my expense--"
Mr. Mayor
""During the 1932 Los Angeles Olympics,"
Mr. Mayor
"this is where Tommy Tomas farted himself to death.""
Mr. Mayor
"Bryce, I will be telling Tulane about this!"
Mr. Mayor
"Thus, I feel it is time for the Hollywood sign"
Mr. Mayor
"to be bigger so people can read"
Mr. Mayor
"what those letters say."
Mr. Mayor
"Ah."
Mr. Mayor
"L. A. needs an official song."
Mr. Mayor
"Now, it'll have to be proceeded by a warning"
Mr. Mayor
"because I sing in a register that can trigger seizures."
Mr. Mayor
"We gotta bring tourists back into our hotels."
Mr. Mayor
"Couldn't agree more."
Mr. Mayor
"So let's make it a law that no more relatives"
Mr. Mayor
"can stay at my house, okay?"
Mr. Mayor
"I'll consider it, Sophia."
Mr. Mayor
"I think the mayor should let the driver choose the music."
Mr. Mayor
"Okay."
Mr. Mayor
"How's everybody doing today?"
Mr. Mayor
"Good? So here's an idea."
Mr. Mayor
"We harness the energy of women swiping me left on Tinder."
Mr. Mayor
"Luis, is this a real idea,"
Mr. Mayor
"or are you just working on your stand up?"
Mr. Mayor
"Well, it's not getting any laughs,"
Mr. Mayor
"so uh, real idea, I guess. [laughs]"
Mr. Mayor
"What else? What else?"
Mr. Mayor
"Bumble? More like humble. [laughs]"
Mr. Mayor
"[knocking] - Hey, so I took a look"
Mr. Mayor
"over the unhoused numbers that you sent,"
Mr. Mayor
"and I think that they might in fact be a mess."
Mr. Mayor
"Huh."
Mr. Mayor
"It's almost as if you're saying that I was right."
Mr. Mayor
"Okay, don't test me, James."
Mr. Mayor
"Your mom's Facebook is public"
Mr. Mayor
"and I've already saved a video of you"
Mr. Mayor
"as the only boy in a tap show."
Mr. Mayor
"Okay, okay. Withdrawn."
Mr. Mayor
"Look, I get that the situation is worse"
Mr. Mayor
"than when we arrived,"
Mr. Mayor
"and I might not have a quick fix for that."
Mr. Mayor
"but I think if we're going to be persistent about it,"
Mr. Mayor
"we first need to get a real accurate count,"
Mr. Mayor
"and I need the I-Team to help me with that."
Mr. Mayor
"Oh, okay. Great."
Mr. Mayor
"But you do realize that if we get a truly accurate count,"
Mr. Mayor
"we're not gonna get any praise."
Mr. Mayor
"You know, if anything, it's just gonna make people more--"
Mr. Mayor
"More furious with us? Yeah."
Mr. Mayor
"I'm familiar with how ugly social media can be."
Mr. Mayor
"I posted a picture of myself in the cape that I bought"
Mr. Mayor
"and I trended briefly as "Lady Farquaad.""
Mr. Mayor
"Wow, that's an old reference."
Mr. Mayor
"Well, don't worry. I got you."
Mr. Mayor
"Uh, I mean, we got you."
Mr. Mayor
"Well, thank you,"
Mr. Mayor
"And I look forward to working with you as well."
Mr. Mayor
"Ooh-whoo!"
Mr. Mayor
"Sorry, I was watching the "Saved By The Bell" reboot"
Mr. Mayor
"on my phone. [giggles]"
Mr. Mayor
"Yeah. [clears throat]"
Mr. Mayor
"Thank you, Stephen."
Mr. Mayor
"I'm not sure how dating your mom would help the city,"
Mr. Mayor
"but she seems like a lovely woman"
Mr. Mayor
"I will certainly keep her number on file."
Mr. Mayor
"Nice work, Stephen."
Mr. Mayor
"Chopper's on the roof, boss."
Mr. Mayor
"That's it! That's this year's staff t-shirt."
Mr. Mayor
"Whoa, whoa. Where are you going, sir?"
Mr. Mayor
"Arpi, I've been here for four hours."
Mr. Mayor
"I can't use any of these ideas."
Mr. Mayor
"It doesn't matter. It's Yes Day,"
Mr. Mayor
"and you promised your children."
Mr. Mayor
"Jayden's not going to be 41 forever."
Mr. Mayor
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