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Clips from Mr. Mayor - Mayor Daddy (S02E02)

And if you'd like, I can bring you to one of our new shelters.

"And if you'd like, I can bring you to one of our new shelters."

Mr. Mayor

- Sure. - [gasps]

"- Sure. - [gasps]"

Mr. Mayor

Look at that. Isn't this beautiful?

"Look at that. Isn't this beautiful?"

Mr. Mayor

Good Lord, I thought you were joking.

"Good Lord, I thought you were joking."

Mr. Mayor

You really took us to a golf course?

"You really took us to a golf course?"

Mr. Mayor

Arpi, in my world, this is a sign of respect.

"Arpi, in my world, this is a sign of respect."

Mr. Mayor

This club is very special to me.

"This club is very special to me."

Mr. Mayor

Listen to that. That is the sound of planes

"Listen to that. That is the sound of planes"

Mr. Mayor

not being allowed within 10 miles of this course.

"not being allowed within 10 miles of this course."

Mr. Mayor

Yeah. I'll wait in the car.

"Yeah. I'll wait in the car."

Mr. Mayor

Oh, come on Arpi. This is gonna be fun.

"Oh, come on Arpi. This is gonna be fun."

Mr. Mayor

Come on, let's get you geared up.

"Come on, let's get you geared up."

Mr. Mayor

Right behind you, sir.

"Right behind you, sir."

Mr. Mayor

Arpi, do you not see the opportunity here?

"Arpi, do you not see the opportunity here?"

Mr. Mayor

Yeah, if this is at all like "Caddyshack,"

"Yeah, if this is at all like "Caddyshack,""

Mr. Mayor

we're gonna see gophers.

"we're gonna see gophers."

Mr. Mayor

Will they be dancing around like in the movie?

"Will they be dancing around like in the movie?"

Mr. Mayor

Probably not, I'm sorry.

"Probably not, I'm sorry."

Mr. Mayor

No, when my college roommates didn't invite me to go golfing,

"No, when my college roommates didn't invite me to go golfing,"

Mr. Mayor

they were gone for five or six hours.

"they were gone for five or six hours."

Mr. Mayor

We're gonna get a huge chunk of alone time with Neil.

"We're gonna get a huge chunk of alone time with Neil."

Mr. Mayor

No I-Team in sight.

"No I-Team in sight."

Mr. Mayor

I promised myself I would never pick up a golf club

"I promised myself I would never pick up a golf club"

Mr. Mayor

unless I was breaking the windshield

"unless I was breaking the windshield"

Mr. Mayor

of an unfaithful lover. But...

"of an unfaithful lover. But..."

Mr. Mayor

let's do this.

"let's do this."

Mr. Mayor

"♪"

Mr. Mayor

Make sure you tell them that the mayor's office sent you.

"Make sure you tell them that the mayor's office sent you."

Mr. Mayor

Oh, here take this swag bag, too.

"Oh, here take this swag bag, too."

Mr. Mayor

Wow. Pop Chips, an issue of "In Style,"

"Wow. Pop Chips, an issue of "In Style,""

Mr. Mayor

oh, and a coupon for a couple's massage

"oh, and a coupon for a couple's massage"

Mr. Mayor

at the W Hotel in Miami.

"at the W Hotel in Miami."

Mr. Mayor

So loved getting to know you, Teri.

"So loved getting to know you, Teri."

Mr. Mayor

Same.

"Same."

Mr. Mayor

Have so much fun!

"Have so much fun!"

Mr. Mayor

Huh, so that's why "C" is for "corpse".

"Huh, so that's why "C" is for "corpse"."

Mr. Mayor

Well-played, Sue Grafton. [laughs]

"Well-played, Sue Grafton. [laughs]"

Mr. Mayor

There you go. That's better.

"There you go. That's better."

Mr. Mayor

My socks feel weird.

"My socks feel weird."

Mr. Mayor

You can't take 'em off, Jayden.

"You can't take 'em off, Jayden."

Mr. Mayor

We're just walking and talking, and it's so hot.

"We're just walking and talking, and it's so hot."

Mr. Mayor

Come on, don't do that.

"Come on, don't do that."

Mr. Mayor

Sir, while Jayden is dying, maybe I can show you something.

"Sir, while Jayden is dying, maybe I can show you something."

Mr. Mayor

This is a demo for an app I've been developing

"This is a demo for an app I've been developing"

Mr. Mayor

that tells tourists about the history

"that tells tourists about the history"

Mr. Mayor

of their parking spot.

"of their parking spot."

Mr. Mayor

Wouldn't you pay extra to park in the same spot

"Wouldn't you pay extra to park in the same spot"

Mr. Mayor

where Dr. Harry Dalton-- as played by Pierce Brosnan--

"where Dr. Harry Dalton-- as played by Pierce Brosnan--"

Mr. Mayor

parked before he talked to the army men in "Dante's Peak"?

"parked before he talked to the army men in "Dante's Peak"?"

Mr. Mayor

Why can't I get internet here?

"Why can't I get internet here?"

Mr. Mayor

Because we're on a golf course.

"Because we're on a golf course."

Mr. Mayor

Jayden, get up!

"Jayden, get up!"

Mr. Mayor

Good thing. I'm all analog, sir.

"Good thing. I'm all analog, sir."

Mr. Mayor

Do you know how much money diarrhea

"Do you know how much money diarrhea"

Mr. Mayor

cost the city every year?

"cost the city every year?"

Mr. Mayor

That's why I want to tackle M. U. D.

"That's why I want to tackle M. U. D."

Mr. Mayor

Okay, stop. For several reasons.

"Okay, stop. For several reasons."

Mr. Mayor

It's evocative, I know. It's gonna make a great hashtag.

"It's evocative, I know. It's gonna make a great hashtag."

Mr. Mayor

Arpi, this is a private club. We can't discuss work here--

"Arpi, this is a private club. We can't discuss work here--"

Mr. Mayor

What, then why would you bring us

"What, then why would you bring us"

Mr. Mayor

to this hellhole of white privilege?

"to this hellhole of white privilege?"

Mr. Mayor

Hey, first of all, our treasurer is diverse.

"Hey, first of all, our treasurer is diverse."

Mr. Mayor

And I was just trying to do something special

"And I was just trying to do something special"

Mr. Mayor

with you guys.

"with you guys."

Mr. Mayor

You know, share something that I haven't even shared

"You know, share something that I haven't even shared"

Mr. Mayor

with my tax guy.

"with my tax guy."

Mr. Mayor

And thanks to him, I made negative $10,000 last year.

"And thanks to him, I made negative $10,000 last year."

Mr. Mayor

I have a bar! Sir, sir, sir! I can show you my thing I made!

"I have a bar! Sir, sir, sir! I can show you my thing I made!"

Mr. Mayor

I told you to put that away.

"I told you to put that away."

Mr. Mayor

There are no electronics on this course.

"There are no electronics on this course."

Mr. Mayor

You looked at your phone.

"You looked at your phone."

Mr. Mayor

Hey do as I say, not as I do, Orly--Arpi, I mean.

"Hey do as I say, not as I do, Orly--Arpi, I mean."

Mr. Mayor

Is there something on my neck? Ow.

"Is there something on my neck? Ow."

Mr. Mayor

What? You're sunburned.

"What? You're sunburned."

Mr. Mayor

Can't you guys not even put on sunscreen?

"Can't you guys not even put on sunscreen?"

Mr. Mayor

I did. Don't yell at me 'cause you're mad at him.

"I did. Don't yell at me 'cause you're mad at him."

Mr. Mayor

Arpi, Arpi! Hey, don't ignore me!

"Arpi, Arpi! Hey, don't ignore me!"

Mr. Mayor

I learned it from watching you.

"I learned it from watching you."

Mr. Mayor

- Ow! - Oh, my God.

"- Ow! - Oh, my God."

Mr. Mayor

You guys are acting like--

"You guys are acting like--"

Mr. Mayor

children. - It feels spicy!

"children. - It feels spicy!"

Mr. Mayor

Well, you were right. The staff is jealous, and they're regressing.

"Well, you were right. The staff is jealous, and they're regressing."

Mr. Mayor

On the ride home, Arpi gave me the silent treatment

"On the ride home, Arpi gave me the silent treatment"

Mr. Mayor

and Jayden got so worked up he threw up as Go-Gurt.

"and Jayden got so worked up he threw up as Go-Gurt."

Mr. Mayor

Yeah, and now the other kids have heard about

"Yeah, and now the other kids have heard about"

Mr. Mayor

your golf outing, and they're acting out.

"your golf outing, and they're acting out."

Mr. Mayor

What do you mean?

"What do you mean?"

Mr. Mayor

Valerie, that's not where that goes, young lady.

"Valerie, that's not where that goes, young lady."

Mr. Mayor

Hey, Luis! That's not who we are!

"Hey, Luis! That's not who we are!"

Mr. Mayor

All right, all right. What are we supposed to do now?

"All right, all right. What are we supposed to do now?"

Mr. Mayor

We? Oh, yeah, sir, I wish I could help you,

"We? Oh, yeah, sir, I wish I could help you,"

Mr. Mayor

but I've decided to play the role of "cool auntie,"

"but I've decided to play the role of "cool auntie,""

Mr. Mayor

and just throw you under the bus.

"and just throw you under the bus."

Mr. Mayor

- Dan, get the car. - Where are you going?

"- Dan, get the car. - Where are you going?"

Mr. Mayor

I'm handling this situation the way my father would've.

"I'm handling this situation the way my father would've."

Mr. Mayor

I'm going for a drive.

"I'm going for a drive."

Mr. Mayor

And when I get back, I will be a little drunk

"And when I get back, I will be a little drunk"

Mr. Mayor

and ranting about how there are too many TV channels now.

"and ranting about how there are too many TV channels now."

Mr. Mayor

It's still true, by the way.

"It's still true, by the way."

Mr. Mayor

[knock at door]

"[knock at door]"

Mr. Mayor

You know, I took a closer look

"You know, I took a closer look"

Mr. Mayor

at the brochure. - Oh, my God, obsessed.

"at the brochure. - Oh, my God, obsessed."

Mr. Mayor

My picture is good though, right?

"My picture is good though, right?"

Mr. Mayor

It was my idea to lean in that doorway.

"It was my idea to lean in that doorway."

Mr. Mayor

Sure, uh, look,

"Sure, uh, look,"

Mr. Mayor

I just didn't realize that you got the award

"I just didn't realize that you got the award"

Mr. Mayor

for "flattening the homelessness curve".

"for "flattening the homelessness curve"."

Mr. Mayor

Mm-hmm, not all heroes wear capes.

"Mm-hmm, not all heroes wear capes."

Mr. Mayor

Although I did just order a cape from ASOS.

"Although I did just order a cape from ASOS."

Mr. Mayor

Return it. Don't even open the box.

"Return it. Don't even open the box."

Mr. Mayor

Look, I didn't necessarily want to tell you this today,

"Look, I didn't necessarily want to tell you this today,"

Mr. Mayor

but my team has been cleaning up data from the past year

"but my team has been cleaning up data from the past year"

Mr. Mayor

and the city's homeless count was a mess--

"and the city's homeless count was a mess--"

Mr. Mayor

- What? - Look, I'm happy to share

"- What? - Look, I'm happy to share"

Mr. Mayor

the data inconsistencies with you,

"the data inconsistencies with you,"

Mr. Mayor

because they definitely suggest

"because they definitely suggest"

Mr. Mayor

that the unhoused population went up.

"that the unhoused population went up."

Mr. Mayor

Wow, I can't tell if you're just desperate to convince Neil

"Wow, I can't tell if you're just desperate to convince Neil"

Mr. Mayor

that you're more useful than me,

"that you're more useful than me,"

Mr. Mayor

or if you just can't stand that I got an award

"or if you just can't stand that I got an award"

Mr. Mayor

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