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Clips from Seinfeld - The Opposite (S05E05)

"- Hey, morning. - Morning."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah. - I'm afraid he's been in an accident."
Seinfeld
"Kramer, I wanna thank you again for last night."
Seinfeld
"- An accident? What happened? - He got sideswiped by a cab..."
Seinfeld
"- You really saved me. - What happened?"
Seinfeld
"...but he's all right. He's in St. Vincent Hospital, room 907."
Seinfeld
"Well, I almost tried the lobster..."
Seinfeld
"Okay, thank you."
Seinfeld
"...but Kramer stopped me."
Seinfeld
"Could I have a box of Jujyfruits?"
Seinfeld
"Well, I knew you'd regret it for the rest of your life."
Seinfeld
"Here you go."
Seinfeld
"You're right. I would have."
Seinfeld
"So, you know, the light was clearly green."
Seinfeld
"Hey, look at this guy."
Seinfeld
"I started walking, he skidded, and went right into my hip."
Seinfeld
"- A little breakfast? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"That is so terrible."
Seinfeld
"- And you eat eggs, don't you? - Yes, I do."
Seinfeld
"It's so terrible, Jake. I mean, how can people be so stupid?"
Seinfeld
"- All right. - Thank you."
Seinfeld
"It's just sickening."
Seinfeld
"Delicious. Where did you learn to make eggs like this?"
Seinfeld
"- Want one? - No, thanks."
Seinfeld
"These are so good."
Seinfeld
"So when do you think you're gonna get out of here?"
Seinfeld
"Enjoying them?"
Seinfeld
"- Where did you get those? - At the movies."
Seinfeld
"Oh, good."
Seinfeld
"Didn't you get the message before you went in?"
Seinfeld
"You know, you might wanna try eating it with one of these."
Seinfeld
"Yeah."
Seinfeld
"There's lobster in these eggs?"
Seinfeld
"- Then when did you get those? - Right after that."
Seinfeld
"So you heard that I was in a car accident..."
Seinfeld
"Not that much."
Seinfeld
"...and then decided to stop off for some Jujyfruit?"
Seinfeld
"You know, they tend to shrink in the water."
Seinfeld
"Well..."
Seinfeld
"Well, I guess I gotta go too."
Seinfeld
"...the counter was right there and-"
Seinfeld
"Well, this has turned out to be one hell of a weekend."
Seinfeld
"I'd think, under the circumstances, you would've run out of the building."
Seinfeld
"Excuse me."
Seinfeld
"Apparently, it didn't have any effect on you."
Seinfeld
"Sorry to bother you."
Seinfeld
"- No, no. It did. - If you got into a car accident..."
Seinfeld
"We're trying to track down a lobster poacher..."
Seinfeld
"...I can guarantee you I wouldn't stop for Jujyfruits."
Seinfeld
"...that cleaned out one of the traps."
Seinfeld
"- But, Jake- - I would like to be alone now, please."
Seinfeld
"I wonder what's going on."
Seinfeld
"- But, Jake, I didn't - - Good night."
Seinfeld
"Guess I should go up and apologize."
Seinfeld
"- What do you say we call it a night? - Good idea. I'm kind of tired."
Seinfeld
"- There he is, officer. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- How'd you do? - Won 50."
Seinfeld
"Don't you ever knock?!"
Seinfeld
"- Lost 72. - Won 37."
Seinfeld
"I don't know why Rachel had to drive back with Michael and Carol."
Seinfeld
"- Lost 15. - Broke even."
Seinfeld
"Hey, if you saw me naked..."
Seinfeld
"- Can I bring out our next guest now? - Please."
Seinfeld
"...I wouldn't wanna ride in the same car with you either."
Seinfeld
"Young guy, got a new book coming out, and it's about-"
Seinfeld
"And this is the best part. It's a coffee table book..."
Seinfeld
"I still can't believe Michael finked on Kramer."
Seinfeld
"- ...about coffee tables. - Is that clever?"
Seinfeld
"How is he gonna pay off a $1000 fine?"
Seinfeld
"I think that is so clever."
Seinfeld
"They got some sort of program."
Seinfeld
"I think so too."
Seinfeld
"What?"
Seinfeld
"- Did you meet him backstage? - I did."
Seinfeld
"Hey, there's a tomato stand. Let's stop. I can get some more."
Seinfeld
"He looks like a fun guy, doesn't he?"
Seinfeld
"- I love his hair. - Oh, I do too."
Seinfeld
"Hey, isn't that Michael's car?"
Seinfeld
"This guy could be a little bonkos."
Seinfeld
"- There's Rachel. - Where?"
Seinfeld
"Anyway, if you will, would you please welcome Kramer."
Seinfeld
"Look at the work that people will do to get to the ocean."
Seinfeld
"- Hey. - How are you?"
Seinfeld
"They'll fight traffic and the heat and the parking and the hot sand..."
Seinfeld
"Look, Kramer's here."
Seinfeld
"...trying to get through the waves..."
Seinfeld
"- Hi. - Hello."
Seinfeld
"...and the ironic thing is..."
Seinfeld
"I don't know. It's the hair or something. I don't know."
Seinfeld
"...the ocean doesn't even really want us in there."
Seinfeld
"Yes. Kramer."
Seinfeld
"That's what surfing is."
Seinfeld
"So a coffee table book about coffee tables."
Seinfeld
"Surfing is the ocean throwing us out of itself."
Seinfeld
"- Where'd you get this idea? - Well, I'll tell you, Regis."
Seinfeld
"You see?"
Seinfeld
"Actually, this is a true story."
Seinfeld
"We keep trying to paddle in..."
Seinfeld
"- I was skiing at the time. - When I'm skiing, Kramer..."
Seinfeld
"...and the ocean is saying, "No, you don't.""
Seinfeld
"...I'm trying not to kill myself. You're writing books."
Seinfeld
"The ocean is like a nightclub..."
Seinfeld
"You kids, don't go out and try that."
Seinfeld
"...and the waves are bouncers tossing us out."
Seinfeld
"You stay in school."
Seinfeld
"The undertow is like the really mean bouncer."
Seinfeld
"Have you always been interested in coffee tables?"
Seinfeld
"Instead of throwing you out, they take you in the back and rough you up."
Seinfeld
"Really, I love coffee tables, and I thought I was the only one."
Seinfeld
"See, the beauty of my book is, if you don't have a coffee table..."
Seinfeld
"...it turns into a coffee table."
Seinfeld
"- Is that fabulous? - Look at this."
Seinfeld
"Is that fabulous?"
Seinfeld
"- Fabulous. - I want one of those."
Seinfeld
"Did I tell you this guy was bonkos?"
Seinfeld
"This coffee table is full of pictures of celebrities' coffee tables."
Seinfeld
"- That's right. - I'm not in there. Where's mine?"
Seinfeld
"It's on file right here."
Seinfeld
"I'm telling you, this guy's bonkos. He really is."
Seinfeld
"- But he's adorable. - Yes he is. He's a nice-looking guy."
Seinfeld
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