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Clips from Seinfeld - The Opposite (S05E05)

"Pretty gorgeous."
Seinfeld
"- Elaine, do you have children? - Me? No, but I'd love to have a baby."
Seinfeld
"I mean, I can't wait to have a baby. I'm just dying to have a baby."
Seinfeld
"A beautiful woman like you should. You're quite breathtaking."
Seinfeld
"Breathtaking?"
Seinfeld
"I'm breathtaking?"
Seinfeld
"And he's very particular."
Seinfeld
"Ben, you're staying over tonight, right?"
Seinfeld
"Sure."
Seinfeld
"I..."
Seinfeld
"I'm gonna go pick up Rachel at the station."
Seinfeld
"- Yeah, see you. - Okay."
Seinfeld
"Oh, just look at him."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, he really is breathtaking."
Seinfeld
"The train was so crowded, I had a seat facing the wrong way."
Seinfeld
"Oh, I like that. It's like going back in time."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, Rachel. - Hi."
Seinfeld
"- I'm gonna go in and get changed. - Okay."
Seinfeld
"What kind of a greeting was that?"
Seinfeld
"- She's got greeting problems. - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Boy, I love these Hampton tomatoes."
Seinfeld
"You know, you can eat them like apples."
Seinfeld
"It's funny. The tomato never really took off as a hand fruit."
Seinfeld
"Well, the tomato's an anomaly."
Seinfeld
"So successful with the ketchup and the sauce..."
Seinfeld
"...but you can't find a good one."
Seinfeld
"Look at what I got!"
Seinfeld
"The K-man!"
Seinfeld
"You got lobster for everybody?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, and they're fresh. Right out of the ocean!"
Seinfeld
"This is fantastic. Man, what a weekend!"
Seinfeld
"Swimming, lobster for dinner."
Seinfeld
"I know. It's great."
Seinfeld
"I saw Jane topless."
Seinfeld
"You saw who what?"
Seinfeld
"Yeah, I saw Jane topless. Well, we all saw her."
Seinfeld
"All right."
Seinfeld
"You saw Jane topless?"
Seinfeld
"Well, when you went for the tomatoes, she lied out topless."
Seinfeld
"Oh, you mean face down on her chest."
Seinfeld
"No."
Seinfeld
"- Faceup on her back? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- Well, why'd she do that? - Well, I guess she was hot."
Seinfeld
"You mean she just lay there topless?"
Seinfeld
"No, no. She got up, she walked around."
Seinfeld
"Walked around?"
Seinfeld
"- And you looked? - Of course."
Seinfeld
"She's got a great body, buddy."
Seinfeld
"All right, I'm gonna go upstairs. I'll be right back."
Seinfeld
"I can't believe that you saw her before me!"
Seinfeld
"Think of me as a doctor."
Seinfeld
"- Well, how good a look did you get? - What do you mean?"
Seinfeld
"Well, if she was a criminal..."
Seinfeld
"...and you had to describe her to a police sketch artist...?"
Seinfeld
"They'd pick her up in about 10 minutes."
Seinfeld
"Great. Great."
Seinfeld
"So any time you want, you can just visualize her naked."
Seinfeld
"I guess that's true."
Seinfeld
"Stop it. Stop it."
Seinfeld
"This is not fair! It's not fair."
Seinfeld
"I don't like this. I don't like it one bit."
Seinfeld
"What do you want me to do? You wanna see Rachel naked?"
Seinfeld
"Yes! Yes!"
Seinfeld
"- Yeah, right. - The punishment should fit the crime."
Seinfeld
"You could see me naked. I could offer you that."
Seinfeld
"It's like I'm Neil Armstrong."
Seinfeld
"I turn around for a sip of Tang and you jump out first!"
Seinfeld
"Nobody ever called me breathtaking before."
Seinfeld
"I've never been called breathtaking either."
Seinfeld
"I mean, if he thinks that that baby is breathtaking..."
Seinfeld
"...then who's not breathtaking?"
Seinfeld
"Maybe he just said it because the mother was in the room."
Seinfeld
"Yeah. Right. That's a possibility."
Seinfeld
"I have to find out."
Seinfeld
"- How you gonna do that? - I can be very clever."
Seinfeld
"- I'm gonna take a swim. - Oh, me too. I'll meet you down there."
Seinfeld
"Don't go in. Rachel's getting undressed."
Seinfeld
"Oh, okay."
Seinfeld
"- Hey! - Oh, sorry."
Seinfeld
"- Don't you knock? - I'm sorry."
Seinfeld
"Not like I'll see something I've never seen before."
Seinfeld
"- You might have. - I didn't."
Seinfeld
"You won't."
Seinfeld
"What do you want anyway, George?"
Seinfeld
"Yes, George. I'm kind of wondering myself."
Seinfeld
"What is it that you want?"
Seinfeld
"No, I was just wondering if you guys had any gum."
Seinfeld
"So you were swimming in the pool..."
Seinfeld
"...and you wanted some gum."
Seinfeld
"Yes, because the water was cold..."
Seinfeld
"...and the chewing warms me up."
Seinfeld
"We don't have any gum."
Seinfeld
"Okay. Thanks anyway."
Seinfeld
"Strange man."
Seinfeld
"Wait till you get to know him."
Seinfeld
"- So where is this baby, anyway? - Oh, check it out."
Seinfeld
"I guarantee you've never seen anything quite so objectionable."
Seinfeld
"It's down the hall, third door on your left."
Seinfeld
"Oh, my God!"
Seinfeld
"I'm sorry, I thought this was the baby's room."
Seinfeld
"It's hard to justify, at this point in history..."
Seinfeld
"I'm really sorry."
Seinfeld
"...the existence of men and their handkerchiefs."
Seinfeld
"I was in the pool!"
Seinfeld
"I mean, they open it up, blow their nose in it..."
Seinfeld
"I was in the pool!"
Seinfeld
"...then put it in their pocket with their other valuables."
Seinfeld
"Did she do it on purpose?"
Seinfeld
"Wallet, keys, mucous. Yup, got everything."
Seinfeld
"Is it because men can't give birth..."
Seinfeld
"It was my fault. I told her the wrong door."
Seinfeld
"...are they just proud of anything that comes out of us?"
Seinfeld
"I was supposed to see her. She wasn't supposed to see me."
Seinfeld
"We'll actually have a monogram sewn onto it."
Seinfeld
"So what?"
Seinfeld
"What is the source of pride here?"
Seinfeld
"Well, ordinarily I wouldn't mind. But..."
Seinfeld
"It sticks out of our breast pocket of our jacket."
Seinfeld
"But what?"
Seinfeld
"I have a snot rag."
Seinfeld
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