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Clips from Seinfeld - The Stock Tip (S01E01)

"You shrunk it. You know you shrunk it."
Seinfeld
"Just tell me you shrunk it."
Seinfeld
"I shrunk it."
Seinfeld
"I think the only reason we go to the dry cleaner..."
Seinfeld
"...is so I can say to the dry cleaner:"
Seinfeld
"Well, it's ruined."
Seinfeld
"Of course the dry cleaner can respond:"
Seinfeld
"It's not our fault."
Seinfeld
"We're not responsible. We just ruin the clothes."
Seinfeld
"That ends our legal obligation."
Seinfeld
"See, the whole problem with dry-cleaning..."
Seinfeld
"...is that we all believe that this is actually possible."
Seinfeld
"Right? They're cleaning our clothes..."
Seinfeld
"...but they're not getting anything wet."
Seinfeld
"It's all dry."
Seinfeld
"I know there's gotta be some liquids back there, some fluids they're using."
Seinfeld
"There's no such thing as dry-cleaning."
Seinfeld
"When you get something on your shirt, ever try and get it off like that?"
Seinfeld
"That's dry-cleaning."
Seinfeld
"I don't think that's what they're doing, have 80 guys going:"
Seinfeld
"Come on. Hurry up."
Seinfeld
"There's a lot of shirts today."
Seinfeld
"- Bless you. - Thank you."
Seinfeld
"What evidence is there that cats are so smart anyway? What do they do?"
Seinfeld
"Because they're clean?"
Seinfeld
"I'm sorry. My uncle Pete showers four times a day..."
Seinfeld
"...and he can't count to 10, so don't give me hygiene."
Seinfeld
"So, what are you gonna do?"
Seinfeld
"I don't know. I can't think of any solution."
Seinfeld
"Unless, of course, they should meet with some unfortunate accident."
Seinfeld
"What do you think a hit man would charge to rub out a couple of cats?"
Seinfeld
"Well, it couldn't be too expensive."
Seinfeld
"Thirteen, fourteen bucks a cat?"
Seinfeld
"What do you think, Jerry, you wanna make 28 bucks?"
Seinfeld
"I'm no cat killer."
Seinfeld
"How about we go over there right now..."
Seinfeld
"...and we shave them?"
Seinfeld
"I'd really like to go, Elaine."
Seinfeld
"But George is coming back from the hospital, I gotta wait for him."
Seinfeld
"But otherwise, I would definitely go."
Seinfeld
"He actually went to the hospital?"
Seinfeld
"- Yeah. - Man, he's nuts."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, he's nuts. You wanna bump off a couple of cats."
Seinfeld
"I know, I know. It's down again."
Seinfeld
"How much you down altogether?"
Seinfeld
"I don't know, $1500."
Seinfeld
"Wow."
Seinfeld
"You don't have to say wow. I know it's wow."
Seinfeld
"And there's that smile again."
Seinfeld
"What is that?"
Seinfeld
"It's George."
Seinfeld
"Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Oh, look at this one by the bus stop. Jerry, come here. Take a look at this."
Seinfeld
"I really don't need to look."
Seinfeld
"What a body."
Seinfeld
"Yeah. That's for me."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, and you're just what she's looking for too."
Seinfeld
"Stranger leering through a pair of binoculars 10 floors up."
Seinfeld
"I'm gonna go down and try and talk to her."
Seinfeld
"What?"
Seinfeld
"What, did you go down there?"
Seinfeld
"Did he tell you what's gonna happen?"
Seinfeld
"How long were you there?"
Seinfeld
"Fifteen seconds."
Seinfeld
"You told him you knew Simons."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, I mentioned Simons."
Seinfeld
"Next thing I know, I'm in the parking lot!"
Seinfeld
"Perhaps they had some sort of a falling out."
Seinfeld
"I'll tell you one thing."
Seinfeld
"I don't know what he's got, but for a sick guy, he's very strong."
Seinfeld
"Well, that's it."
Seinfeld
"Look, I'm going to Vermont. I don't wanna think about this."
Seinfeld
"I'm selling."
Seinfeld
"- Didn't work, huh? - Not quite."
Seinfeld
"Well, what are you gonna do about the stock?"
Seinfeld
"I'm keeping it."
Seinfeld
"I'm going down with the ship."
Seinfeld
"So I know this guy, I'm getting all my sneakers at a discount now."
Seinfeld
"I know. You mentioned it."
Seinfeld
"Oh, yeah. Right."
Seinfeld
"Oh, God, get me out of here. What a mistak e."
Seinfeld
"What made me think this would work?"
Seinfeld
"And I've still got another day."
Seinfeld
"I've got nothing left to say."
Seinfeld
"Wait, wait. I've got one."
Seinfeld
"That's a nice watch."
Seinfeld
"Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Do you wind it?"
Seinfeld
"No. It's got a little battery."
Seinfeld
"Well, that's good."
Seinfeld
"Well, the drive home should be a delight."
Seinfeld
"I'm speeding the whole way. Let them throw me in jail, I don't care."
Seinfeld
"That's the manager, wanna see if we can get another room?"
Seinfeld
"No, it's okay."
Seinfeld
"So I guess you don't find the separate faucets for the hot and the cold..."
Seinfeld
"...charming?"
Seinfeld
"Not especially."
Seinfeld
"Well, what do you wanna do this afternoon?"
Seinfeld
"What can we do? It's raining."
Seinfeld
"We could play Sorry."
Seinfeld
"We could play Steal the Old Man's Bundle."
Seinfeld
"Maybe I can get an extension cord and hang myself."
Seinfeld
"What kind of perfume is that you're wearing?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, you've never heard of it."
Seinfeld
"No. What kind is it?"
Seinfeld
"I can't tell you."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, that's real normal."
Seinfeld
"Excuse me, sir. Could I have a look at that business section?"
Seinfeld
"- The stock? - Thank you."
Seinfeld
"Thought you got out of that."
Seinfeld
"I did. I'm just curious."
Seinfeld
"It's been almost a week. I wanna check it out."
Seinfeld
"Six points?"
Seinfeld
"It's up six points."
Seinfeld
"- I told you not to sell. - You did not tell me not to sell."
Seinfeld
"I said the market fluctuates. Remember?"
Seinfeld
"Look, Vanessa..."
Seinfeld
"...of course the market fluctuates. Everybody knows that."
Seinfeld
"I just got fluctuated out of $4000."
Seinfeld
"That's probably why we're..."
Seinfeld
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