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Clips from 10-Year-Old-Tom - Landscaper on the Couch/Nurse's Wedding (S01E01)

"when that grown woman climbed a pole,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"that--that was so much fun!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yeah. She really climbed that pole good."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That was--I'm sorry, guys. That was the party?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You watched a lady climb a pole?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- No, Tom, there's more to it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"There's music, and there's lights..."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- They got pretzels."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- They got little bags of chips."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Can I be honest with you?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You guys' stories are kinda boring."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I might go hang out over there with Doug."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Please go over there."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Doug, you really should start getting dressed."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"It's almost time."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- There is a time to be born and a time to die,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"a time to plant and a time to uproot."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"That's from the Bible."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Are you okay, Doug? - Not really."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"My life is flashing before my eyes."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I'm like a wild stallion, Tom. I need to run free."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm not following."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"What does the stallion have to do with anything?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I feel trapped. I'm gonna marry this nurse"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and then drive an ice cream truck"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"the rest of my life?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Sounds amazing! But, hey, my dad was married,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and he didn't feel trapped."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"He just drove off to Myrtle Beach one day."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Really? For how long? - Just a..."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"indefinite Myrtle Beach excursion."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Let me get this straight."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"He was married with a kid, you..."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yeah. - And he said,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
""I'm driving to Myrtle Beach?""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I mean, he didn't say it out loud."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"He just took off."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"He just left a note on the fridge."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Your dad sounds like a legend."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Legend? No, no."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"My mom would disagree with that."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Well, potato, pa-tot-oh."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"This is great advice, Tom."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh no, it's not "advice.""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- It changes my whole outlook on the whole thing."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay. Well, glad we talked."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- And by the way, Tom, you still owe me six grand"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"for the ice cream truck."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Am I ever going to see that money?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You didn't get it? I thought I mailed it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You know I didn't get it, Tom."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I clearly mailed you $6,000."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You mailed it? You sent it through the mail?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[wedding march playing]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Wow, you clean up nice."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Aw! Thank you. So do you."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hey, I know I'm Tom's principal,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"but is it inappropriate for me to say"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"your tits look amazing in that dress?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- No, that's cool. I welcome it. Thank you."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Thanks for your patience, everyone."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"We will begin shortly."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Unfortunately, we are just waiting on the groom."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What's going on out there? Is he seriously running late?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm sure he's milling around somewhere."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What the F, guys?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You were just with him. Who saw him last?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I saw him. He was talking to Tom"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"right by the window."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tom... - Sorry, Mom."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I didn't talk, though. I mostly listened."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay. Tom, what did he say?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Uh, just a lot of Bible quotes."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Bible? Like quotes about loving me?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Nah, it was about, uh, time and, uh,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"a lot of doomsday talk. Something about a stallion."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay, you're freaking me out. - His schvanz in a vice."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Is that from the Bible?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, guys, wait. There's a note."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- A note?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Let me see. What does it say?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
""I'm driving down to Myrtle Beach"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"just like Tom's dad did.""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Wait. What? - "Thanks for the advice, Tom."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You da man. Woot, woot."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"P.S.: the stallion rides free." Tom, what the fuck?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I don't think people say "what the fuck""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"at weddings, do they?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- They do when they're abandoned."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right. Let's just go dance"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and eat dinner. What do you do now?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Cry. - Let's go cry and dance."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[upbeat jazz music]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Come on people, dance."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"We're only playing jazz standards,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"so don't wait for the Electric Slide"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"or something you consider to be fun."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- [crying]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Con--congratulations. What do people say? Congrats?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Shut up!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Listen, I'm--I'm so-- I feel terrible."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You should. - Principal, say something."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Say nothing. Let Tom sit in the discomfort."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, everybody! So good news:"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"the reception is starting,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and the nurse is gonna start by cutting the cake."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Yay! Yay!... - No, I am not!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I'm not--I'm not cutting the cake by myself."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"That's sad."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- It's a tradition, right? - It's fun!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You cut the cake. You eat cake."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That does sound fun. - Okay."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Get to the part where you smear it on your face, please."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm not smearing it on my face."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Have you ever been to a wedding?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Everybody smears cake on their face."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Well, normally there's someone else"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"doing the smearing!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
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