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Clips from Veep - Chung (S01E01)

"Oh, sure! You know what? I blame George Washington."
Veep
"If he hadn't started this whole form of government, then we wouldn't..."
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"Okay, okay, stop squabbling! What am I supposed to do now?"
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"Tell me that."
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"I'm supposed to call Doyle and beg him to come back?"
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"I'm the vice president of the United States,"
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"you stupid little fuckers!"
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"These people should be begging me!"
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"That door should be half its height"
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"so that people can only approach me in my office"
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"on their goddamn, motherfucking knees."
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"I can't lose Doyle."
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"Who else has a bucketful of senators?"
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"Cut Doyle loose, all right? Call his bluff."
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"We reach across the aisle"
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"- to the immigration reform caucus. - What?"
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"You want to break out the white, pointy hoods, too, ma'am?"
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"Look, we throw them a few commitments to their cause"
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"in exchange for support on filibuster reform."
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"- This is easy. - Ugh."
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"Once you go down that dark country road,"
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"the lights go out and the scarecrows come to life."
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"Yeah, anyone hear the banjo music?"
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"Look, Mike, that's what you always hear because mentally"
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"you're in a fuckin' hammock on a back porch."
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"Dan, this isn't fantasy politics."
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"Stop it! Stop it!"
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"This is a win for you on Senate reform"
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"and it's also another big win for you"
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"with the president on immigration, all right?"
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"Win big, win big."
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"I don't know... maybe you and Dan"
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"should go down and talk to..."
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"J... God damn it... the senator from Arizona."
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"The one who wants to random search people in ponchos?"
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"- Oh, Bill. - O'Brien."
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"- Yeah. - Yeah."
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"He's got a lot of sway with the pro-Caucasian caucus."
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"All right, so we get O'Brien,"
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"who brings us McCaulay and Cunliffe."
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"Is McCaulay the one with the nose hair problem"
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"like he's got two raccoons in his nostrils?"
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"That's seven to Doyle's five."
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"I mean, this is a filibuster slam dunk."
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"- Chung is on TV live. - What?!"
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"- Get it on. Get it on. - Where's the remote?"
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"It's in the bowl. The remote's in the bowl."
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"Sue, where's the clicker?"
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"- Where's the clicker? - Guys, it's in the credenza."
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"Get it. Quick, quick, quick."
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"- What channel? Channel? - Any live TV."
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"Mike... no, Mike. Don't touch that remote."
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"You're gonna launch a nuke or something."
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"- Sue? - A few brief words about the comments"
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"that were made earlier today."
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"Despite what is said in some dark corners of the Internet,"
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"when I was born, both my parents"
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"were fully naturalized American citizens."
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"What? He's Captain fuckin' America?"
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"- What's happening here? Good job, Amy. - It's not..."
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"That is not the information I was given by Scott."
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"A quiet word with one of her staff"
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"regarding the thoroughness of their research techniques."
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"What did Scott use as a research tool,"
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"the fuckin' drudge report?"
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"Second-generation Chinese American..."
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"That and bathroom walls."
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"Proud enough to risk my life for this country."
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"I've got a purple heart on my chest,"
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"but the one that beats inside of me"
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"is red, white, and blue."
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"- No, he didn't. He didn't say that. - He is seizing his moment."
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"And that's why this is the greatest country on earth."
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"I am gonna throw up a leg."
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"And then I'm gonna take that leg"
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"and I'm gonna beat Scott to death with it."
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"- Scott! - Ah!"
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"I'm gonna go draft a letter of apology"
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"to the king of Minnesota, governor Chung."
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"Here's what we're gonna do..."
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"Mike, big fat apology to Chung;"
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"Amy, fuck Doyle."
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"I want this bill."
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"You guys talk to O'Brien and get that border caucus."
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"- Okay. - Amy, put on your dancing shoes"
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"and head for the border right now."
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"- Go on. - No, I'm not doing it."
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"Get a move on."
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"This is them."
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"Here we go."
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"Hi, senator O'Brien. I'm Dan Egan."
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"We spoke on the phone. A pleasure to meet you, sir."
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"Well, I have no idea who you are,"
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"so I don't know whether it's a pleasure or not."
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"- Okay. - This is Jack."
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"- Hi, Jack. - Hi."
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"Amy Brookheimer, vice president's chief of staff."
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"Chief?"
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"Shouldn't that be chiefess?"
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"Relax, missy. I'm just yanking your chain."
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"Absolutely."
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"This place looks nice, huh?"
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"Looks like they do a mighty fine plate of ribs,"
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"but before we do any ordering,"
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"I'd like to know if you're going to offend us"
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"with some chickenshit deal"
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"that means we have to leave before the food comes."
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"You're fine to order."
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"I feel so horrible."
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"You know, it's like I've ordered a hit on somebody."
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"I'm just waiting for the call to say that it's done."
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"It's done."
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"Do you want a glass of wine?"
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"You want some water? You want some hand sanitiz..."
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"- I want quiet. - Quiet?"
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"So long, Scott. You are professionally dead."
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"Have a nice evening."
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"Up here on the eastern seaboard,"
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"it's easy to forget what a big slice of our country rubs shoulders"
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"with a failed state by the name of Mexico."
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