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Clips from Veep - Chung (S01E01)

"Now, if you had bad neighbors who came into your yard every night"
Veep
"to crap a buttful of drugs and beans on your flowers,"
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"you might think about building a fence."
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"You're not gonna get a border fence, all right?"
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"You're talking about a 3,000-mile-long fence."
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"Great for the construction industry."
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"Yeah, but ironically, the only affordable option"
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"would be immigrant labor."
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"Well, my constituents are fed up"
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"with feeling outnumbered in their own country."
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"Fellas, we shouldn't have a problem"
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"working to preserve a certain kind of American identity."
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"Yes."
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"Now you keep talking like that, sweetheart,"
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"and we'll be having cigars at the end of this dinner."
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"Just not Cuban ones."
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"Hey."
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"Oh, my God,"
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"- I am having the shittiest day. - Yeah?"
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"You got anything to make me feel better?"
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"I do indeed."
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"- What is it? - Well..."
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"It's about seven inches, hangs between my legs..."
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"The thing."
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"I like to call him sergeant Ted."
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"Okay, well, you tell sergeant Ted"
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"I would like him very much"
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"to drill me in my oval office."
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"In fact, I need him to put the finger"
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"on the button"
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"and come into my rose garden."
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"The sergeant is standing at attention."
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"You know what... I'm coming over there, like, right away."
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"Uh, you know, when you come over,"
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"can you try and sneak in incognito?"
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"I got Korean neighbors and I don't think"
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"they'd like the idea of me dating you."
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"Is that some kind of a joke or something?"
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"It's not funny at all. Fuck off, Ted."
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"I mean, I don't know why you would s..."
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"- You were... you were on the phone? - Mm-hmm."
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"- Oh, I didn't hear anything. - You better not have heard anything."
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"I didn't say anything."
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"Oh, my God."
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"Oh, for fuck sakes. Hey, Jonah."
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"What happened to your hot pants?"
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"Oh, the hot pants picked up some negative traction."
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"I realize now they're unbecoming of my office."
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"I'm just coming in to see if the misunderstanding"
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"with governor Chung has been resolved."
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"Yeah. It's all fine and dandy and fabulous."
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"Excellent. Well, then, I'm gonna go enjoy what's left of my Sunday."
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"I got the latest Grisham on the go and it's just awesome."
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"You should read..."
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"As well as the funding request,"
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"we can offer a commitment that the vice president will oppose immunity"
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"for any illegal immigrants who have been here for more than five years."
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"Well, now you're singing a tune that we may dance to."
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"- Well, we just... - And she will lobby the president"
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"and express public support for your position."
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"All right, I'm going home."
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"I'm getting fucked every which way."
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"- Sue, did the president call? - No."
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"If you can deliver that, I will appear to love filibuster reform"
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"as much as I appear to love my idiot son."
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"And for my wife's sake,"
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"I appear to love that wretched shitnia lot."
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"Good night. Let's go, Jack."
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"Good to see you guys could learn a new word today... compromise."
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"What do you say? Meet me halfway?"
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"Whew."
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"I'm not gonna be able to sleep tonight."
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"That was fuckin' dark."
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"You've gone up 10 levels in my estimation, by the way."
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"Which means I've gone down 100 in my own."
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"Sometimes you've gotta go down to go up."
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"Eh... I am taking the credit for this."
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"I tunneled through the shit, I get the dirty glory."
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"It is me who tells Selina the good news."
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"Where is the vice president?"
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"She has gone home for the evening."
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"Why?"
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"Something about "getting fucked every which way.""
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"Direct quote."
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"Oh, God, yeah. I heard something on the phone."
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"Oh, God. Oh, God."
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"How many times can she be underneath that?"
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"She's got such a little body and he seemed like a big man."
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"Who? Who's he?"
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"Hey, hey, somebody talk about something else?"
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"Anything."
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"Yeah, I gotta get these images out of my head."
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"Can we talk about... I don't know..."
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"our favorite band or something, please?"
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"Yes. Who else are you into, Mike, apart from the Eagles?"
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"Uh, grateful dead."
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"Oh, that's the name of your favorite whorehouse, too, right?"
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"Ugh, can't wait to get home and burn my clothes."
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"Don't fuck up that suit, Mike."
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"- All right, good night, Sue. - Good night, Gary."
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"Good night, Dan."
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"Jesus Christ."
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"Dan, you have about 10 seconds"
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"to stop distracting me,"
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"or the next thing that they'll find"
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"at the back of that couch are your remains."
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"If you like, I can go sit in the vice president's office."
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"Excuse me?"
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