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Clips from Seinfeld - The Cigar Store Indian (S05E05)

"Well, I felt bad about this afternoon, so I got you something."
Seinfeld
"Oh, you did? Do you guys all know Jerry?"
Seinfeld
"- Hi, Jerry. - Hi. Hi, Winona."
Seinfeld
"Nice to see you again."
Seinfeld
"- Elaine, is it your birthday? - No."
Seinfeld
"I don't need a reason to give gifts."
Seinfeld
"It's my nature. I love to make people happy."
Seinfeld
"Oh, that is so sweet."
Seinfeld
"- Are you ready? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"It's a cigar-store Indian."
Seinfeld
"Read the card."
Seinfeld
"That's very nice. Thank you very much."
Seinfeld
"- Read it out loud. - I don't think so."
Seinfeld
"We had a little fight this afternoon."
Seinfeld
""Let's bury the hatchet. We smokem peace pipe.""
Seinfeld
"You know, it's late. I really should go."
Seinfeld
"I don't blame you, Winona. I-"
Seinfeld
"Are you out of your mind?"
Seinfeld
"It's kitschy."
Seinfeld
"Winona is a Native American."
Seinfeld
"She is?"
Seinfeld
"You've got very unusual taste."
Seinfeld
"I hope prune juice is all right."
Seinfeld
"- It's the only thing that was chilled. - Oh, that's fine."
Seinfeld
"I'm sorry about that lock on the liquor cabinet."
Seinfeld
"The combination must have just flown out of my head."
Seinfeld
"It's a mental block."
Seinfeld
"Is this your son in the bubble bath?"
Seinfeld
"No, that's me."
Seinfeld
"You don't see too many guys your age..."
Seinfeld
"...who keep baby pictures of themselves around."
Seinfeld
"I like it."
Seinfeld
"It's consistent with the rest of the house."
Seinfeld
"Yes, it is consistent."
Seinfeld
"I've tried to maintain a consistent feel throughout the house."
Seinfeld
"- What is this we're listening to? - The Ray Conniff Singers."
Seinfeld
"What's that smell? Kasha?"
Seinfeld
"It's a potpourri. May I...?"
Seinfeld
"May I show you the master bedroom?"
Seinfeld
"- Who is it? - Winona, it's Jerry Seinfeld."
Seinfeld
"Yeah?"
Seinfeld
"Listen, I really felt bad about what happened."
Seinfeld
"I'd really like to apologize. Could I come up?"
Seinfeld
"I'll come down."
Seinfeld
"- I came by to get my ball. - It's right over there."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, thanks."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, it's got the magic grip."
Seinfeld
"How do you think I bowled that 220 today, huh?"
Seinfeld
"Yo."
Seinfeld
"- Where did this come from? - Do you want it?"
Seinfeld
"- I can have this? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"- You wanna lug it uptown, it's yours. - Oh, I'll lug."
Seinfeld
"It's just that it's a very sensitive issue for me."
Seinfeld
"And well it should be. I think if you spent any time with me at all..."
Seinfeld
"...you'd see I'm very sensitive to these matters as well."
Seinfeld
"You wouldn't be hungry by any chance, would you?"
Seinfeld
"I could go for a bite."
Seinfeld
"Do you like Chinese food? I went to a Szechwan restaurant..."
Seinfeld
"...in this neighborhood. I don't remember the address."
Seinfeld
"Excuse me, you must know where the Chinese restaurant is."
Seinfeld
"Why must I know? Because I'm Chinese?"
Seinfeld
"You think I know where all the Chinese restaurants are?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, ask honorable Chinaman for location of restaurant."
Seinfeld
"I thought because you're the mailman you would know the neighborhood."
Seinfeld
"Oh, hello, American Joe, which way to hamburger/hot-dog stand?"
Seinfeld
"- I didn't know- - You know what, it's late."
Seinfeld
"- I should probably just go home. - I had no idea-"
Seinfeld
"Hey, Jerry, look what I got."
Seinfeld
"He-"
Seinfeld
"- Looks pretty good. - Yeah, did a good job."
Seinfeld
"- I don't think they'll be able to tell. - You know, I don't get it."
Seinfeld
"I'm not allowed to ask a Chinese person where a Chinese restaurant is?"
Seinfeld
"I mean, aren't we all getting a little too sensitive?"
Seinfeld
"Somebody asks me which way is Israel, I don't fly off the handle."
Seinfeld
"- Anyway, what's the status with...? - Well, she kind of calmed down."
Seinfeld
"I'm gonna see her tonight."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, great. - Yeah. But I'm a little uncomfortable."
Seinfeld
"- I'm afraid to make another mistake. - Come on."
Seinfeld
"Hello, hello."
Seinfeld
"- Hey, you're home. - Hello, Georgie."
Seinfeld
"- The house looks very nice. - Yeah, huh?"
Seinfeld
"- Where's the mail? - Hello, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"- Hello. - So how was the trip?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, your father."
Seinfeld
"Is there anything wrong with getting a receipt at a tollbooth?"
Seinfeld
"I'm going upstairs."
Seinfeld
"This stack should be bigger. Where's the TV Guide?"
Seinfeld
"- What TV Guide? - I'm missing TV Guide."
Seinfeld
"Volume 41, number 31."
Seinfeld
"Elaine took it to read on the subway."
Seinfeld
"- Elaine took it? - I didn't know she took it."
Seinfeld
"Well, it's two weeks old."
Seinfeld
"How could you let her take the TV Guide?!"
Seinfeld
"He collects them."
Seinfeld
"You collect TV Guide?"
Seinfeld
"The nerve of that woman."
Seinfeld
"Walking into my house, stealing my collectibles."
Seinfeld
"Oh, my God!"
Seinfeld
"This was in our bed."
Seinfeld
"What is this?"
Seinfeld
"A prophylactic rubber?"
Seinfeld
"What is this doing on my bed?"
Seinfeld
"I don't know."
Seinfeld
"I'll see you later."
Seinfeld
"You were having sex on our bed?"
Seinfeld
"Yes."
Seinfeld
"Who told you you could have sex in our bed?"
Seinfeld
"- Well, my bed is too small. - Your bed is too small?"
Seinfeld
"I'm gone two weeks, and you turn our house..."
Seinfeld
"...into Bourbon Street?"
Seinfeld
"Where am I going to sleep?"
Seinfeld
"- What are you talking about? - I can't sleep in there."
Seinfeld
"- Of course you can. - I can't."
Seinfeld
"I can't!"
Seinfeld
"That's it."
Seinfeld
"You're grounded."
Seinfeld
"You can't ground me. I'm a grown man."
Seinfeld
"You wanna live here..."
Seinfeld
"...you respect the rules of our house. You're grounded!"
Seinfeld
"So where are we gonna go eat?"
Seinfeld
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