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Clips from The Monkees - Dance, Monkee, Dance (S01E01)

"Hello?"
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"Good morning. Hm hm! This is your opportunity of a lifetime."
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"Yeah, you got a chance to win a free lesson at America's"
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"foremost dance emporium, Renaldo's Dance Au Go Go."
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"Huh! Hey, how does that grab you, sir?"
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"That sounds like the opportunity of a lifetime."
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"Oh, listen, you can win a free dance lesson valued at"
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"twelve dollars and ninety-eight cents, and all you have"
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"to do is answer one little question. Are you ready?"
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"Yeah."
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"Oh! Who was the eighth president of the United States of America?"
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"I'm afraid I don't know that."
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"Oh. Well, listen, uh, the boss isn't around,"
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"so I'll tell you what I do. You seem like a nice Joe."
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"I'll give you a little hint, alright?"
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"Ha ha ha!"
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"His name is President Van..."
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"Johnson! Van Johnson! Van Johnson! President Van Johnson!"
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"No."
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"Van Heflin!"
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"No, no, no!"
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"Which is wrong? Van or Heflin?"
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"Van is right, but that's his last name."
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"Oh, Van is his last name. Van... moving van! Moving van!"
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"Oh, no!"
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"Pickup truck!"
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"Oh, please! Listen, I'll tell you what I'll do."
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"I'll let you know his first name. It's Martin."
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"Martin. Uh, Martin... Dean Martin!"
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"Martin Van..."
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"Martin Van Buren! Martin Van Buren!"
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"Right, right! Oh!"
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"Oh!"
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"Ee! Congratulations! You just won a free dance lesson at Renaldo's Dance Au Go Go."
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"Now look, hon, all I need is your name, alright?"
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"Could you give me a hint?"
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"Oh, honey, don't you even know your name?"
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"Oh, yes, it's Peter. A-ha! I'll be right down for my free lesson. Goodbye."
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"Here we come, walkin' down the street"
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"We get the funniest looks from every one we meet"
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"Hey, hey, we're the Monkees, and people say we monkey around"
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"But we're too busy singing to put anybody down"
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"We're just tryin' to be friendly, come and watch us sing and play"
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"We're the young generation, and we've got something to say"
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"Hey, hey, we're the Monkees, you never know where we'll be found"
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"So you better get ready, we may be comin' to your town"
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"One, two, three, four. Oh, you got a lot of style,"
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"Mr. Tork. Never knew anyone who could get so far in just one lesson."
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"I'm pushy."
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"Good morning, Mr. Tork. My name is Renaldo."
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"Oh!"
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"How did he do, Miss Buntwell?"
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"Oh, simply wonderful. Another few lessons, he'll be a real tiger."
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"Really?"
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"Just sign here."
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"Uh, well, it was kind of fun, and I do like Miss Buntwell."
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"Rrr-ruff! Ha ha ha."
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"You just made a decision that'll change your entire life."
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"Now, we'll see you tomorrow, tiger, a-ha."
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"Rrr."
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"Ha ha ha ha. Sucker."
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"Oh, he seemed nice."
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"They're all nice, as long as they sign that lifetime contract."
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"That kid'll be dancing 'til he's eighty."
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"One, two, three, four. One, two..."
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"What are you, what are you, what are you doing?"
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"I've enrolled in Renaldo's dance course. One, two..."
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"No, well, you didn't sign anything I hope, no."
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"Just an informal agreement."
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"Well, let me see it. It says here, "The party, at first part,""
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"which is you, "now enrolls in series B.""
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"See, I told you; it's only the B series."
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"Whoa. For a minute, I thought it might have been the A course."
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"Yeah."
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"Well, what's a B course?"
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"It's the lifetime contract."
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"- Lifetime? - What?"
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"Yeah, and it's with an option for renewal."
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"Two, three. Did I do something wrong?"
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"Ah, I'm afraid you did, old buddy."
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"Oh, well, we'll just tear up the contract."
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"You can't tear up this contract; it's a legal document."
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"Ah, come on. No court in the world would convict me."
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"Order in the court, order in the court, order in the court."
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"Alright, you may examine the witness."
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"Yes, sir. Examine the witness."
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"Right away, sir. Examine, examine, examine."
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"That's quite enough."
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"Is this your signature?"
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"Yes, sir."
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"A-ha! Then you did sign the contract."
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"What do I know? I'm just a kid."
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"Are you in the habit of breaking contracts?"
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"I object, Your Honor. Ooh!"
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"Don't do that."
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"Do you or do you not recognize this man?"
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"Is that a trick question?"
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"I object, Your Honor!"
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"Don't object so much; you'll live longer."
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"Ha ha ha ha! Your witness. Ha ha ha ha!"
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"Now then. Ooh! What'd you do that for? I didn't say anything."
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"Well, that's in case you do."
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"Now, Mr. Tork, tell the court, in my own words,"
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"the unhappiness this contract has caused you."
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"Well, I-oh!"
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"- You hit my defendant. - Quiet in the court."
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"- Ooh! - Quiet in the court."
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"I'm sorry, gentlemen. I find the defendant guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty. Guilty!"
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"Guilty? Guilty? Guilty?"
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"Oh, you're so guilty, guilty, guilty."
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"You know, we can't let Peter dance his way to the poorhouse."
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"Got it, Pete. I'll get you out of this yet."
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"Mick..."
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"I must talk to him now."
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"Hello, I'm George Michael Dolenz, Peter Tork's solicitor."
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"Oh, yes. Shows a lot of promise, lot of promise."
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"Well, my client is an eccentric playboy, you see,"
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"and he has a strange affliction called ballpointitis."
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"Ah, ha ha."
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"It's a need to sign long-term contracts."
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