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Clips from The Goldbergs - A Kick-Ass Risky Business Party (S03E03)

"It's not an act."
The Goldbergs
"No! Our mom is just poisoning your mind"
The Goldbergs
"with her endless well of love and support."
The Goldbergs
"Yeah, I'm not seeing how that's a bad thing."
The Goldbergs
"(SCOFFS)"
The Goldbergs
"No, where are you going?"
The Goldbergs
"Cheer practice, where I'm the captain."
The Goldbergs
"You can't leave. We have a party to plan."
The Goldbergs
"Yeah, no party. Not feeling it."
The Goldbergs
"Maybe some other time."
The Goldbergs
"What the hell just happened?"
The Goldbergs
"Did we just lose our kick-ass Risky Business party?"
The Goldbergs
"It's worse."
The Goldbergs
"We just lost Lainey."
The Goldbergs
"MR. GLASCOTT: Thanks for coming in, Mr. Goldberg."
The Goldbergs
"Wanted to address this teacher's lounge breach head on."
The Goldbergs
"Couldn't this have been a phone call?"
The Goldbergs
"Believe me, I don't want to be here either."
The Goldbergs
"After school, I go to the mall with my parrot"
The Goldbergs
"and people treat me with respect."
The Goldbergs
"Her name is Feather Locklear. Real head turner."
The Goldbergs
"Look, I'm sorry I used the fax,"
The Goldbergs
"but I just want to reach my girlfriend."
The Goldbergs
"Again with the girlfriend! Unbelievable!"
The Goldbergs
"You're a guidance guy. Guide him."
The Goldbergs
"Tell him long-distance relationships don't work."
The Goldbergs
"I'm sorry, I beg to differ."
The Goldbergs
"I've been in a long-distance relationship"
The Goldbergs
"for the past seven years."
The Goldbergs
"BOTH: Really? Yeah."
The Goldbergs
"Ellen lives in Tampa. And I'm lucky, too,"
The Goldbergs
"because Ellen has a male roommate"
The Goldbergs
"to keep an eye on her when we're apart."
The Goldbergs
"She lives with a guy?"
The Goldbergs
"Yeah, Todd. He's a lifeguard,"
The Goldbergs
"so he can totally give her CPR"
The Goldbergs
"if she ever gets in any kind of trouble."
The Goldbergs
"He's a real stud. (CHUCKLES)"
The Goldbergs
"I mean, does he even own a shirt? (LAUGHS)"
The Goldbergs
"See, Dad? It can work."
The Goldbergs
"Okay, pay attention. This might be helpful to you."
The Goldbergs
"Uh, this long-distance girlfriend you got, you see her much?"
The Goldbergs
"Well, not since she went to Paris."
The Goldbergs
"And of course, Todd tagged along because he speaks French."
The Goldbergs
"He's a good egg."
The Goldbergs
"It sounds like she's with this Todd guy."
The Goldbergs
"(CHUCKLES) No, no, no."
The Goldbergs
"She's taken his last name for insurance purposes."
The Goldbergs
"Point is, long-distance can work."
The Goldbergs
"I want to believe you, but your story has some holes."
The Goldbergs
"Hey, don't flip this back on me."
The Goldbergs
"You and Dana are the ones on the rocks."
The Goldbergs
"Frankly, we used to gab about you guys in the teacher's lounge"
The Goldbergs
"how we didn't think your relationship had legs."
The Goldbergs
"You're both wrong."
The Goldbergs
"I may not be able to call or fax Dana,"
The Goldbergs
"but she will know how I feel,"
The Goldbergs
"even if it means doing the unthinkable."
The Goldbergs
"Bro, you've come to the right person for love advice."
The Goldbergs
"Let's do this."
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: Without the phone or the fax,"
The Goldbergs
"my only option was a musical love letter,"
The Goldbergs
"written by my brother and starring me."
The Goldbergs
"Hey, sweet baby girl."
The Goldbergs
"I know we can't talk on the phone,"
The Goldbergs
"so I'm gonna just let the music speak for me."
The Goldbergs
"And I'll be speaking, too,"
The Goldbergs
"'cause this jam is written by Big Tasty."
The Goldbergs
"Ain't that right, lil' yum yum?"
The Goldbergs
"That's not my name, girl."
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: While I was tarting to feel this was a bad idea,"
The Goldbergs
"Lainey couldn't have felt more at home."
The Goldbergs
"So, then you're gonna say to yourself, "Hey, that's too much cheese.""
The Goldbergs
"But you know what?"
The Goldbergs
"It's never too much cheese."
The Goldbergs
"God, this is so much better than cold pizza every night."
The Goldbergs
"And I love that little note you put in my lunch today."
The Goldbergs
"Well, I meant every word of it, my little snuggle monster."
The Goldbergs
"Yep, Lainey was happy to be a Goldberg,"
The Goldbergs
"but the Goldbergs weren't so happy."
The Goldbergs
"It's like there's two moms now."
The Goldbergs
"This is bad. This is really bad."
The Goldbergs
"All I wanted was a kick-ass Risky Business party"
The Goldbergs
"and a free pass to Princeton. Is that too much to ask?"
The Goldbergs
"Don't give up hope yet. (SIGHS)"
The Goldbergs
"It's time to bring out the big guns."
The Goldbergs
"Tissue me."
The Goldbergs
"(CRYING)"
The Goldbergs
"And then he said, "Let's break up,""
The Goldbergs
"and I'm like, "But I love you,""
The Goldbergs
"and he's like, "I love you, too,"
The Goldbergs
""but I'm not in love with you.""
The Goldbergs
"I'm sorry, Lainey. I just really need my mom's full and undivided attention."
The Goldbergs
"Wow, it's so surprising and unsettling to hear"
The Goldbergs
"that you've had a boyfriend all this time"
The Goldbergs
"and none of us knew about it."
The Goldbergs
"Say, what was his name?"
The Goldbergs
"(STAMMERING) His name? Uh-huh."
The Goldbergs
"His, his name was, uh..."
The Goldbergs
"Shrimpson."
The Goldbergs
"Shrimpson. It's Dutch! (CRYING)"
The Goldbergs
"I'm sorry, Lainey. Maybe you should go."
The Goldbergs
"No. No, no, no."
The Goldbergs
"You're just trying to remove me from her life"
The Goldbergs
"just like how you removed me from yours."
The Goldbergs
"What? (SCOFFS) How dare you."
The Goldbergs
"Good luck with Mr. Shrimpsteen."
The Goldbergs
"It's Shrimpson!"
The Goldbergs
"(CRYING)"
The Goldbergs
"Okay, what are you doing?"
The Goldbergs
"Saving you. From what?"
The Goldbergs
"Your mom's cooking?"
The Goldbergs
"Her sweet little notes? Her support?"
The Goldbergs
"Yeah, sure, it seems nice now,"
The Goldbergs
"but my mom loves us more than any mom loves her kids."
The Goldbergs
"I don't think the problem here is your mom."
The Goldbergs
"It's you. You don't appreciate her."
The Goldbergs
"Fine."
The Goldbergs
"But don't say I didn't warn you."
The Goldbergs
"Lainey."
The Goldbergs
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