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Clips from Weeds - Perro Insano (S05E05)

"Previously on Weeds:"
Weeds
"-Do me up. -I sold you an eight ball yesterday."
Weeds
"-I need another one. -How much you got?"
Weeds
"You asked him to kill some loco DEA agent?"
Weeds
"Gee, thanks."
Weeds
"You did me a solid."
Weeds
"Can't get weed without a court order."
Weeds
"I will help you. After I slam his dick in this drawer."
Weeds
"I can do this."
Weeds
"I can sell a lot more makeup if I give a free gift."
Weeds
"Oh, no. I can't steal their weed."
Weeds
"No, you just tell them that you got ripped off."
Weeds
"I've got a crooked dick and there's no pot?"
Weeds
"It wasn't my fault."
Weeds
"Eighths go in the compacts. Half ounces in the eye-shadow kit."
Weeds
"Everyone, let's see that plastic."
Weeds
"Did this all on my own, selling You're Pretty! cosmetics."
Weeds
"May I help you, sir?"
Weeds
"I wanna make money selling face chemicals."
Weeds
"-Think you can handle a full order? -Damn right. Fill me up."
Weeds
"After the election, we will be married and be a family."
Weeds
"-What election? -I'm running for governor."
Weeds
"-What the fuck was that? -Her name is Pilar Zuazo."
Weeds
"And she is just protecting my public image."
Weeds
"This little milk ball was a mistake."
Weeds
"I am the father of this child."
Weeds
"Not according to your dear friend Pilar."
Weeds
"Couldn't put Esteban's name on the birth certificate."
Weeds
"So you put my name on it."
Weeds
"You're a frozen margarita, Andy, and I'm a doctor."
Weeds
"Why'd you agree to go out?"
Weeds
"I'm fascinated by how all this will play out with the baby daddy."
Weeds
"-Marry me. -Let's go downstairs for a minute."
Weeds
"-What are they saying? -Get out there, find what's going on."
Weeds
"I love you and you love me. So I am here and I am not leaving."
Weeds
"Mom?"
Weeds
"Oh, my God. Oh, my fucking God. Is he all right?"
Weeds
"-Look at all my blood, Mom. -Is it just his arm?"
Weeds
"-There's blood. -I can't even feel it."
Weeds
"There's two holes. One in, one out. Through the meat. It missed the bone."
Weeds
"Is that a good thing?"
Weeds
"Put our people on the street. Bring me a name."
Weeds
"You don't shoot at a man in front of his family."
Weeds
"It sounded like a slap. He slapped me with a bullet, Mom. Isn't that weird?"
Weeds
"Shane, it's weird and it's fucked up and it's scary."
Weeds
"I wanna go to the fucking hospital right fucking now."
Weeds
"Hospitals report bullet wounds."
Weeds
"I don't care. I don't care!"
Weeds
"-Nancy, Nancy. -Hand me the vodka."
Weeds
"What are you, a doctor all of a sudden?"
Weeds
"A nurse. In the army."
Weeds
"-Like Hot Lips Houlihan? -Caliente Lips."
Weeds
"Fuck you! Fuck your mom in the ass with a screwdriver!"
Weeds
"What--? What was that?"
Weeds
"The shooter."
Weeds
"Fucking A."
Weeds
"I don't get it. I've been at this all morning."
Weeds
"I found a high-volume area, followed the script. What am I doing wrong?"
Weeds
"-This is our corner. Get your own. -Oh, cram it, Brownie."
Weeds
"-I told you, I'm a nature scout. -I know what I said."
Weeds
"No one wants your crap. Go away."
Weeds
"We're trying to send goats to African people."
Weeds
"-They already have goats. -Not these goats."
Weeds
"Pinch more of my sales, I'll flick you in the God nipple."
Weeds
"-It's called a bindi. -Everyone knows it's bindi."
Weeds
"-I love You're Pretty! Cosmetics. -Really?"
Weeds
"Do you know Celia Hodes? I just started buying from her."
Weeds
"Yes. Celia. Love that woman. This is the same stuff."
Weeds
"-Really? -Yep."
Weeds
"Perfect. Yesterday I bought two eye-shadow kits and I am already out."
Weeds
"So I'll take two more."
Weeds
"Two eye-shadow kits in one day. That is hot."
Weeds
"My husband would kill if he knew how much I spent on weed."
Weeds
"Yeah, right."
Weeds
"Wait, what--? What are you talking about?"
Weeds
"What are you talking about?"
Weeds
"What are you talking about?"
Weeds
"She thinks you're selling pot like your friend, you fucking idiot."
Weeds
"It's been a while since trauma rotation, but I'd say you got pretty lucky here."
Weeds
"If you're gonna get shot, it's good to get shot the way you got shot."
Weeds
"You didn't tell your mom about me sending you out, did you?"
Weeds
"I like the bandages. That Audra does nice work, huh?"
Weeds
"Percocet for the pain. Take it easy with these, okay?"
Weeds
"-They're not Mentos. -That's a lot."
Weeds
"I'm just gonna take two for my headache. Maybe three."
Weeds
"Did she ask about me?"
Weeds
"You take this, you watch movies, you feel better."
Weeds
"About your arm, life, everything."
Weeds
"All I'm saying is that every time I think shit can't get more fucked up..."
Weeds
"...shit gets way more fucked up."
Weeds
"I wanna go float in Lake Esteban."
Weeds
"That pool has got a tide."
Weeds
"And me floating in it."
Weeds
"Like a leaf to a filter."
Weeds
"Or a bug."
Weeds
"Please don't tell anyone I was a nurse."
Weeds
"No one gets inside. No one gets near you."
Weeds
"Do you like my watch? It's yours."
Weeds
"They will tease me."
Weeds
"Say "medic.""
Weeds
"I'm sorry."
Weeds
"Why?"
Weeds
"Because you got hurt."
Weeds
"-I'm okay. -Shane, you got shot."
Weeds
"It was bound to happen sooner or later."
Weeds
"No. It's not supposed to happen at all. It's not. "When is he gonna get shot?""
Weeds
"Not something that crosses your mind when pretending to be the tooth fairy."
Weeds
"It was this thing that happened today. Other things, other days."
Weeds
"-Things will happen tomorrow. -No, you're not getting hurt again."
Weeds
"-I promise you. -I'm fine."
Weeds
"Shane. Shane, look at me."
Weeds
"You're never getting hurt again."
Weeds
"You should be worrying about Stevie Ray."
Weeds
"He's just a baby."
Weeds
"You're still my baby."
Weeds
"Think I can have that sandwich now?"
Weeds
"Yeah."
Weeds
"Oh, please. Like I give a shit."
Weeds
"You're a hard man to find."
Weeds
"What are you doing?"
Weeds
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