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Clips from Weeds - Machetes Up Top (S05E05)

"What?"
Weeds
"Machetes up top?"
Weeds
"Yeah, you are right. Machetes up top."
Weeds
"Wait. Wait, don't go."
Weeds
"Please, let me stay."
Weeds
"Let you stay?"
Weeds
"I don't have anywhere else to go."
Weeds
"Please."
Weeds
"I like it here."
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"My hair doesn't frizz. I'm useful."
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"I will organize everything."
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"Do not make me go back there."
Weeds
"Everyone hates me."
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"I have no friends."
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"Selfish bitch."
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"Nancy's a bitch-face."
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"Fucking bitch."
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"Oh, Nancy's a bitch-face."
Weeds
"Fucking Nancy."
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"Fucking Nancy."
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"Oh, Nancy, fuck."
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"Oh, fuck, Nancy."
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"Hey, hey. No smoke in here."
Weeds
"Tell me, what's the one thing..."
Weeds
"...you wouldn't want a person leaving this earth to not have tasted?"
Weeds
"You have allergies?"
Weeds
"Just bring it on."
Weeds
"Leave it to me."
Weeds
"Another?"
Weeds
"Sure."
Weeds
"And you know what? I'll have a whiskey too."
Weeds
"And one for you."
Weeds
"When I was 10, I jumped off the Morristown bridge."
Weeds
"It was in the newspaper."
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""Daredevil girl survives fall.""
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"It wasn't a fall."
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"It was a leap."
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"Big difference."
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"What are you doing here?"
Weeds
"Are you drunk?"
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"No, I'm not drunk."
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"I can smell the liquor."
Weeds
"Is that why you slipped my goon?"
Weeds
"So you do listen to your messages."
Weeds
"Yes, I've been drinking."
Weeds
"And smoking."
Weeds
"And I had raw fish."
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"Very high in mercury."
Weeds
"You should be taking better care of my baby."
Weeds
"What's the point?"
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"I can't live with this level of stress. It's killing my baby anyway."
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"I'm dead mom walking."
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"When am I gonna end up in a landfill?"
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"I haven't decided."
Weeds
"Decide."
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"Go ahead."
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"Do it."
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"Decide."
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"Okay."
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"Oh, fuck."
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"Oh, God."
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"Yeah."
Weeds
"Yeah. Yeah."
Weeds
"You don't dictate the terms of this arrangement."
Weeds
"Okay?"
Weeds
"Time to go."
Weeds
"Previously on Weeds:"
Weeds
"-It's a camera. -You were recording me?"
Weeds
"-Fucking with me? -I'm listening."
Weeds
"There's a tunnel."
Weeds
"You make a bust, you get Guillermo and it never comes back to me."
Weeds
"-If you're gonna kill me, please do it fast. -I will be in touch."
Weeds
"-And I love you. -I'm pregnant."
Weeds
"Just because you've been a slutty, irresponsible, slutty slut..."
Weeds
"...who had unprotected sex with a Mexican gangster..."
Weeds
"...that doesn't mean we can't be friends."
Weeds
"Take Shane up to my sister's in the Oakland Hills."
Weeds
"Jill Price-Gray with a hyphen? Bitch face?"
Weeds
"I have your wife, Celia. You send me money."
Weeds
"She's no longer my wife. We're divorced."
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"-Then I will kill her. -Do what you gotta do."
Weeds
"You want a ransom for Celia Hodes?"
Weeds
"Go fuck yourself."
Weeds
"That cunt can lick my balls."
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"-We're really not friends. -Okay, 30 thou--"
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"Get me my money."
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"-Let's go have sex. -Get out!"
Weeds
"Out of my life."
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"You are a mean person."
Weeds
"You ought to grow in a national park. The cool kids do it."
Weeds
"-Cleveland National Forest. -We're not in Ohio, little man."
Weeds
"In San Diego County."
Weeds
"And you will lie back, open your legs and show the doctor I've chosen..."
Weeds
"...that in your flat stomach there is a baby that is both male and mine."
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"I wanna go home."
Weeds
"How's the miso soup?"
Weeds
"It's delightful."
Weeds
"He's not here."
Weeds
"What do you want?"
Weeds
"Coffee."
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"-Where's Esteban? -He's busy."
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"I'm here to keep you company."
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"I don't need company."
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"He thinks you do."
Weeds
"Really?"
Weeds
"Esteban, I never really imagined I'd be saying this in real life..."
Weeds
"...but call off your goon."
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"Call me. I need to talk to you. We need to talk."
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"I have to know what's going on."
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"He hasn't made up his mind yet."
Weeds
"You look a little green."
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"Ginger settles the stomach."
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"Ginger. I'll try that."
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"Like a cartoon."
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"That's not respectful."
Weeds
"You're religious?"
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"-Selectively. -Right."
Weeds
"The "thou shalt not kill" thing probably not working out for you, huh?"
Weeds
"And I support gay marriage."
Weeds
"Well, your visit has been a sheer delight."
Weeds
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