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Clips from Weeds - Machetes Up Top (S05E05)

"-Just hiking. -Come on, you can do better than that."
Weeds
"-Bird watchers? -Butterflies."
Weeds
"-Butterflies. -Northern butterflies."
Weeds
"Oh, even better."
Weeds
"You guys got a little net in there?"
Weeds
"Let's see."
Weeds
"Hey."
Weeds
"Think I found a beautiful butterfly right here."
Weeds
"Look, we're just looking for a place to grow."
Weeds
"-We didn't have any idea-- -Oh, yeah, this is unusual."
Weeds
"Oh, indica-sativa blend. Afghani origin."
Weeds
"Original strain. Mine."
Weeds
"Went through six or seven variations before I came up with that one."
Weeds
"You know, usually in this situation...."
Weeds
"What's your name?"
Weeds
"-Silas. -Silas."
Weeds
"Well, I could shoot you right now and dump you in the creek."
Weeds
"You and your dad."
Weeds
"My dad's dead."
Weeds
"We're friends. Family friends."
Weeds
"It's a whole story."
Weeds
"Not sexual."
Weeds
"My dad's dead too."
Weeds
"Linstead, untie our compatriots."
Weeds
"Hey."
Weeds
"Thank me."
Weeds
"Thank you."
Weeds
"All right, well, these are mine now, Silas."
Weeds
"I'll treat them well. Don't worry, your work is not in vain, okay?"
Weeds
"Now both of you get the fuck out of here before I have to shoot you in the head."
Weeds
"Be free."
Weeds
"You're taking all of them?"
Weeds
"Yeah."
Weeds
"Okay. Got it."
Weeds
"Oh, who the fuck knows what would make him happy?"
Weeds
"All I know is no matter, you know, how much I sacrifice..."
Weeds
"...or how hard I work-- Can you open that? He never even sees it."
Weeds
"It's as if it all happens magically."
Weeds
"Little elves help the girls with their homework..."
Weeds
"...and drive them to Irish step-dancing class..."
Weeds
"...and fill the fridge and make the beds."
Weeds
"-When I think of what I gave up. -Yes. And no thank-you, I'm sure."
Weeds
"No, "I really, really appreciate you, Andy.""
Weeds
"No, "I'm so glad that you're here for the kids, Jill.""
Weeds
"No, of course not."
Weeds
"-You know why? -Why?"
Weeds
"They're takers. Both of them, really. They take and they bike."
Weeds
"I had a life. Okay?"
Weeds
"I had a job. I had friends."
Weeds
"-But they're all gone, right? -I--"
Weeds
"And for what, really? Why?"
Weeds
"So we could be magical elves?"
Weeds
"-Am I talking too much? -No."
Weeds
"-They don't even care that we're elves. -Because they're cute."
Weeds
"-We're cute too. -Yeah."
Weeds
"And don't take this the wrong way. I do love her. She's my sister."
Weeds
"-I know. -She's miserable."
Weeds
"-Am I talking too much? -No."
Weeds
"She's a miserable cunt."
Weeds
"And she plays the victim, but she always has time to put mascara on."
Weeds
"I'm the real victim."
Weeds
"And you're a victim too."
Weeds
"Because she doesn't appreciate you."
Weeds
"And your cuteness."
Weeds
"You have an eyelash."
Weeds
"No. No, you know what?"
Weeds
"It's just your skin."
Weeds
"No, you deserve to be appreciated."
Weeds
"And me, too, you know, because...."
Weeds
"Because it's been a long time since I was appreciated."
Weeds
"I can appreciate that."
Weeds
"Hey."
Weeds
"-Is there any food around here--? -The mall."
Weeds
"You can't miss it. Just go to the end of the driveway and you make a right."
Weeds
"Off you go."
Weeds
"Okay."
Weeds
"Hi. I don't--"
Weeds
"So in there, you'll find my life insurance policy..."
Weeds
"...a list of most of the places I've hidden money--"
Weeds
"Are you even listening to me?"
Weeds
"Life insurance, hidden cash. I heard you."
Weeds
"What do you think?"
Weeds
"I've been stashing these babies in ER waiting rooms. I expect big things."
Weeds
"Gave yourself a healthy head of black hair."
Weeds
"I think it adds a certain Atticus Finch quality."
Weeds
"I've also hidden money on the upstairs landing..."
Weeds
"...in the jukebox, back behind the records."
Weeds
"-Photoshopped hair's too much? -It's lovely, but I'd like you to focus..."
Weeds
"...on the potential sudden and unfortunate death of Nancy..."
Weeds
"-...if you don't mind. -Yes. Right. Of course."
Weeds
"-You want me to update the custody? -Yes."
Weeds
"Silas becomes Shane's legal guardian."
Weeds
"Got it."
Weeds
"Excuse me."
Weeds
"Dean Hodes' office. Please hold."
Weeds
"If something happens to me..."
Weeds
"...you'll take care of this for Silas and Shane, okay?"
Weeds
"Something happens? You going skydiving?"
Weeds
"None of your business."
Weeds
"Just make sure it's all taken care of. I'm counting on you."
Weeds
"Just out of curiosity and poor self-image, why me?"
Weeds
"Because I trust you."
Weeds
"Because you're a parent."
Weeds
"Because you're the only person I could find on such short notice."
Weeds
"I think the hair is too much."
Weeds
"No, no, no."
Weeds
"Chair up, away."
Weeds
"Put these here."
Weeds
"Up here."
Weeds
"-Why are you still here? -Oh, hi."
Weeds
"I was hoping to have all this done before you got here..."
Weeds
"...but, oh, well, here it is."
Weeds
"Good organization calms people."
Weeds
"It's a fact. Order is soothing."
Weeds
"I have organized."
Weeds
"Down on this shelf, empty magazines and grenade shells."
Weeds
"Down here, all handguns."
Weeds
"Then machetes and knives separated by blade length."
Weeds
"Some of the other stuff around here I wasn't sure about."
Weeds
"Like where do you put this?"
Weeds
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