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Clips from Bob's Burgers - The Spider House Rules (S12E12)

"Yeah, seems like Dad's stalling."
Bob's Burgers
"He's nervous about his dad date."
Bob's Burgers
"Of course he's nervous. It's Cliff."
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"Okay, she's not in here. Fan out."
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"Gene, you go that way. Tina, you go that way."
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"I'll go this way. Watch your step."
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"And if you see her, let's have a signal."
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"Say "along came a hmm-hmm.""
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"Ding-dong? Oh, right. Spider."
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"So, are you, uh, going out tonight or what? Or no?"
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"Yeah. - I'll- - I'll probably go."
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"They're-they're out, at a place, so they're already there."
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"I can just show up late, you know? Or-or really late."
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"Yeah, I'm just gearing up to, you know, put shoes on"
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"and then I'll pick an outfit. It's part of my process."
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"Of hanging out. With-with friends."
Bob's Burgers
"Yeah, sounds like you do it a lot."
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"And I think it's fine you didn't shower."
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"What? (sniffs) Oh. Oh, boy."
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"Yeah, it doesn't matter. They're dads. They probably smell, too."
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"Maybe it'll be a nice icebreaker."
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"(sniffs) This one smells really bad."
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"(sniffs) This one's okay."
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"Maybe I can just angle my body this way all night?"
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"- You can start that now. - Mm."
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"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I'm used to it."
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"I just try not to breathe so much."
Bob's Burgers
"Ugh. So, we didn't find her. That means"
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"she's either in the living room or in Mom and Dad's room."
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"You guys got to get Mom and Dad out of there"
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"so I can look for her. Tina, you take Mom."
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"Gene, you take Dad. Get 'em into your rooms and keep 'em there."
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"Uh, okay. I can do that. No problem."
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"I'll just tell Mom we're looking for a spider?"
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"No, no. Don't tell her that. Tell her anything but that."
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"Right, right. Sorry."
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"I'll tell Dad I want to have "the talk" with him."
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"The talk about my ingrown toenail"
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"and just toe health in general."
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"Wow, you agreed to come in here and talk to me really fast."
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"Well, it's not because I don't want to go out"
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"with the other dads, because I definitely do."
Bob's Burgers
"Okay, good to know."
Bob's Burgers
"So, w-what did you want to talk about?"
Bob's Burgers
"Um, how do you feel about ingrown toenails?"
Bob's Burgers
"I mean, I have them."
Bob's Burgers
"Okay, follow-up question:"
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"- what should we talk about next? - (phone dings)"
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"(sighs) Uh, I guess I've put this off long enough."
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"They're waiting for me at the bar."
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"You sound really into it. I'm excited to grow up."
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"- I better go get dressed. - In your room? No!"
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"Uh, I mean, you want to borrow something of mine?"
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"What kind of look are you going for--"
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"Bahama Tommy or rhinestone cowboy?"
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"Oh. I-I wasn't thinking about a look."
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"I was just gonna put on shoes and maybe change my shirt."
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"Your mother said things that make me think I should change."
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"No! Don't change your shirt. Let me smell. (sniffs)"
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"Ooh, that's bold. It's like your sweat started sweating."
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"Ugh, no spider."
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"All right. Mom and Dad's room. Maybe Phoebe likes"
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"middle-aged bras and dandruff all over the place."
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"So I'm happy we moved over here to talk about stuff."
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"Leaning against the bookshelf was a weird idea,"
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"but it was good we tried."
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"Yeah, I like to try things."
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"So, uh, how, uh, was your day?"
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"Eh, it was good. Although I did have a sneeze"
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"where I farted a little, and I think a customer heard."
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"Wow, let's talk about that. What happened next?"
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"Tina, honey, didn't you have something"
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"you wanted to talk about?"
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"No, this seems much more important now."
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"So, uh, you talk. More. Please."
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"Okay. Well, I farted."
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"Uh-huh."
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"And I-I tried to cover it up with a cough,"
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"- but that made me fart again. - Then what did you do?"
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"I looked over to see if she was looking at me, and-and she was."
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"(gasps) Didn't see that coming. (weak chuckle) Keep-keep going."
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"So, I grabbed the trash can and I started dragging it around"
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"on the floor so it'd make a fart sound, so she'd think"
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"it was the trash can and not me. But it wouldn't make"
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"the right sound, so I had to fart again"
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"and then blame it on the trash can."
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"That's so smart."
Bob's Burgers
"Okay, enough about me. Your turn."
Bob's Burgers
"I don't even know if I can follow that."
Bob's Burgers
"Um, should we take a few more minutes to unpack your story?"
Bob's Burgers
"So, there you were, farting and dragging a trash can around..."
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"Ugh, I give up. Wherever you are Phoebe,"
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"I hope there are plenty of bugs for you to murder."
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"No way. Phoebe! I found you!"
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"BOB: Wait, Phoebe?"
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"- Phoebe the spider? - Oh, hi, Dad."
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"No, Phoebe from Friends. I see her everywhere."
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"- Louise. - (sighs)"
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"Okay, fine. I kind of didn't take her outside"
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"and she's been living in my room in a box."
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"Until now. Now she's living"
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"- in your bed. - Oh, my God. - LINDA: What?"
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"- What's going on? - Louise's spider is living in our headboard."
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"Who, Phoebe?"
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"Louise, Mom... is here. Hi, Mom."
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"Dad, why won't you let me brush your back?"
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"The other dads will love it."
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"Any chance you guys enjoy sleeping with spiders"
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"over your head? No? Okay. Phoebe,"
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"Charlotte's Web time. Spell something fun."
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""Terrific parents." Go."
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"Give her a second."
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"Louise, why didn't you take Phoebe outside yesterday?"
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"I tried, but it wasn't safe out there. I couldn't do it."
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"The world's too dangerous for a fresh-faced kid like Phoebe."
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"She's not ready for the bright lights."
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"She will be. One day."
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"Louise, sweetie, we're gonna have to get the spider"
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"out of there somehow. It might be nice or it might not be nice,"
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"but we got to do it. I'm sorry, baby."
Bob's Burgers
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