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Clips from Family Guy - LASIK Instinct (S20E20)

"(meows)"
Family Guy
"Dr. Hartman, what does this mean, you know, for me?"
Family Guy
"Well, whatever your wife did for you,"
Family Guy
"you'll now have to do for yourselves."
Family Guy
"And until she gets used to her new life,"
Family Guy
"you'll need to take care of her."
Family Guy
"Feed her, bathe her, drive her places."
Family Guy
"‐They're gone, aren't they? ‐They left, yes."
Family Guy
"There they are. I thought we said 10:00 sharp,"
Family Guy
"but we must have said 10:18."
Family Guy
"(chuckles) No one's fault, but going forward,"
Family Guy
"let's make sure we respect each other's time, hmm?"
Family Guy
"‐You must be Chris. ‐I must?"
Family Guy
"You know, we have a friend in common:"
Family Guy
"Mr. Herbert."
Family Guy
"How do you know Mr. Herbert?"
Family Guy
"We're friends. Sometimes he comes to my art shows,"
Family Guy
"and we get ice cream after."
Family Guy
"Let me guess, he takes you to the park"
Family Guy
"where the swings go really high?"
Family Guy
"‐He does. ‐Uh‐huh."
Family Guy
"That'll stop. And the ice cream?"
Family Guy
"Don't get used to it."
Family Guy
"I've seen a thousand of you. I've outlasted them."
Family Guy
"I'll outlast you."
Family Guy
"Okay, uh, my dad left a note for you, Mr. Griffin."
Family Guy
""Griffins, build this tree house for my son."
Family Guy
""He will love it for a year, until my housekeeper"
Family Guy
""moves into it, even though it doesn't have electricity"
Family Guy
""or running water."
Family Guy
"She walked here from Guatemala. She'll be fine.""
Family Guy
"Let's get started, boys."
Family Guy
"Aw, man, this is gonna be more work"
Family Guy
"than when I built that Habitat for Sean Hannity."
Family Guy
"As you can see, we've made everything white,"
Family Guy
"like you requested."
Family Guy
"Here's a room to recover"
Family Guy
"from your sodium headaches,"
Family Guy
"and on the walls, I painted"
Family Guy
"some of your most famous quotes."
Family Guy
"There's the one where you compared"
Family Guy
"the homosexual lifestyle to playing in the sewer,"
Family Guy
"and there's the one where you defended Roy Moore."
Family Guy
"‐Nice. ‐Uh‐huh."
Family Guy
"And here's a room where you can blame things on an immigrant."
Family Guy
"Hey, nothing personal, I just peddle hate for money."
Family Guy
"ANNOUNCER: We now return to Blindflix,"
Family Guy
"the streaming service for blind people."
Family Guy
"I can't believe it's the year 2034,"
Family Guy
"Earth is uninhabitable, and we're hurtling through space"
Family Guy
"to find a place for humanity to start again."
Family Guy
"Thankfully, we are Chris Evans and Vanessa Hudgens,"
Family Guy
"and have sexy bodies that will make beautiful"
Family Guy
"racially nuanced babies."
Family Guy
"I love you, Chris Evans."
Family Guy
"I love you, too, Vanessa Hudgens."
Family Guy
"Kiss me."
Family Guy
"(both moaning)"
Family Guy
"Ah, this show is so sexy."
Family Guy
"How you doing, Mom?"
Family Guy
"Do you need to go poopies?"
Family Guy
"Meg, please stop asking me that."
Family Guy
"I'm sorry, I just‐‐ I hate being so dependent"
Family Guy
"on other people."
Family Guy
"I feel helpless and worthless."
Family Guy
"I get it. I feel helpless and worthless 24‐sevs."
Family Guy
"How do you deal with it?"
Family Guy
"Cutting, minor arson, and sometimes I post"
Family Guy
"empowerment videos on YouTube."
Family Guy
"Empowerment videos?"
Family Guy
"I thought YouTube went out of business."
Family Guy
"Uh, what am I thinking of?"
Family Guy
"‐Circuit City. ‐Yes."
Family Guy
"Here. The camera's on."
Family Guy
"Just getting your feelings out will make you feel better."
Family Guy
"Oh, okay. Um, hello."
Family Guy
"Uh, my name is Lois Griffin,"
Family Guy
"and I... am blind."
Family Guy
"Uh, I went to the hospital for a simple surgery"
Family Guy
"and woke up in the ICU."
Family Guy
"But the irony was I couldn't see you."
Family Guy
"I couldn't see anyone or anything."
Family Guy
"Even the people closest to me"
Family Guy
"who need to be seen the most."
Family Guy
"So now I suppose if I want to see again,"
Family Guy
"I'll have to listen more"
Family Guy
"and‐and feel more and focus on"
Family Guy
"what's on the inside and not what I can see on the outside."
Family Guy
"(sighs)"
Family Guy
"Okay, that's all for now."
Family Guy
"Mom, that was incredible."
Family Guy
"You really spoke to me."
Family Guy
"Who‐Who's that? Is that Lois?"
Family Guy
"Peter, I'm the one who's blind."
Family Guy
"Sorry, I‐I'm still getting used to things."
Family Guy
"I can't believe Doug's dad texted me"
Family Guy
"and said we had to come to Doug's T‐ball game"
Family Guy
"or he was gonna sue us."
Family Guy
"Looks like they got Big League Chew."
Family Guy
"Yeah, I saw that. I saw that they got Big League Chew."
Family Guy
"Ah, the baseball field. Good memories."
Family Guy
"Lost my v‐card here with Jennifer Jason Leigh"
Family Guy
"in that dugout right over there."
Family Guy
"That was Fast Times."
Family Guy
"Yeah, fast for her, maybe. I took a while."
Family Guy
"(whistling)"
Family Guy
"Excuse me. What happened to your big trip"
Family Guy
"to Providence?"
Family Guy
"Good morning, sports fans."
Family Guy
"You ready to witness the epitome of excellence?"
Family Guy
"Check this out."
Family Guy
"(chuckling): Oh. Ball one."
Family Guy
"(grunts)"
Family Guy
"Look, spaz, hold the bat like this,"
Family Guy
"and then step into it as you swing forward."
Family Guy
"I did it. Thanks, Mr. Griffin."
Family Guy
"‐I'm leaving. ‐Come on, Chris."
Family Guy
"Don't be mad. My plans changed."
Family Guy
"Oh, hey, Doug."
Family Guy
"CHRIS: Are you kidding me?!"
Family Guy
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