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Clips from The Office - Diversity Day (S01E01)

"- Hey ya, may I help you on here? - I'm all set thank you."
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"Good, I go with the rows. That's a good idea."
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"Today is diversity day,"
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"and someone is going to come in and talk to us about diversity,"
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"something that I've been pushing,"
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"that I've been wanting to push for a long time, and corporate mandated it,"
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"I never actually talked to corporate about it,"
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"they kind of beat me with the punch,"
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"those bastards!"
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"But I was going to, and I think it's very important that we have this,"
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"I'm very very excited."
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"That's the thing, it's a very sturdy paper,"
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"and on the back it says: 100% post customer contempt."
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"What? Hello, haha, wait what?"
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"I'm sorry mister Decker, I think I'm losing you."
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"Hello? Hello? Yeah, hold on one sec, hold on one second."
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"- Do you really have to do that right now? - Yes I do."
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"I should have done this weeks ago actually."
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"Mister Decker, I'm sorry about that, would you wait one second?"
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"Yeah, just one second. Thanks."
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"Hello? That's it, perfect. So what I was saying was... hello?"
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"- Thanks Dwight. - "Retaliation". Tit for tit."
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"- That is not the expression. - Well that should be."
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"This is my bigger sale of the year."
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"They love me over there, for some reason, Iím not really sure why,"
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"but you know I make one call over there, every year, just to renew their account."
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"And that one call ends up being 25% of my commission, for the whole year."
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"So you know, I buy a mini bottle of champagne, and celebrate."
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"And this year, I'm pushing recycle paper on them, for one percent more."
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"I know, getting cocky right."
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"- Solitaire? - Yeah, free cell."
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"- A 6 on 7. - I know, I saw that."
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"- So then why didn't you do it? - I'm saving that,"
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"- cause I like it when the cards go... - Who doesn't love that?"
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"- Hey! Oscar, how you doing man? - All right."
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"A good week end going there?"
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"- It was fun. - Oh yeah bet it was fun"
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"- Oh hey! This is Oscar. - Martinez."
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"- See, I didn't even know, first thing basis. - We're all set."
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"Oh hey, diversity everybody let's do it."
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"Oscar works in here."
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"- Jim can you rapid up please? - Yeah."
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"It's diversity day Jim,"
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"wish everyday was diversity day."
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"You know what, I'm actually gonna have to call you back."
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"Thank you, sorry about that."
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"- Thank you - Get in the cars! Get in the car!"
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"- Thank you. Thank you very much."
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"Ok thanks for filling these, I promise this will be quick."
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"At diversity today our philosophy is about honesty and positive expectations,"
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"we believe that 99% of the problems in the workplace arise simply out of ignorance."
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"You know what? This is a color free zone here."
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"Stanley, I don't look at you as another race."
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"See, this is what I'm talking about, we don't have to pretend that we're colorblind."
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"- Exactly. We're not colorblinds. - That's fighting ignorance with - With intolerance."
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"No, with more ignorance. Right exactly. Instead we need to celebrate our diversity."
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"Let's celebrate."
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""Celebrate good times. Come on!" Let's celebrate diversity right?"
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"Yes, exactly. Now, here's what we're gonna do, Iíve noticed that uh..."
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"You know what, here's what we're gonna do."
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"What if we go around and everybody, everybody,"
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"say a race that you are attracted to sexually, I will go last. Go."
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"I have two. White and Indian."
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"Actually I prefer not to start that way."
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"Michael I would love to have your permission to run this session, can I have your permission?"
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"- Yes. - Thank you very much."
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"And it would also help me if you were seated."
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"Thank you. Ok."
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"Now, at the start of the session I had you write down an incident"
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"that you found offensive in the workplace."
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"- Now what I'm gonna do is choose one and we're gonna act like... - A few other ground rules?"
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"Why don't you run it by me and I run it by him?"
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"OK. Can we steer away from gay people?"
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"I'm sorry it's an orientation, it's not a race."
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"Plus a lot of other racists are also intolerant at gays so,"
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"paradox."
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"Well we only have an hour."
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"- Why don't we just refer to Mr. uh? - Mr. brown."
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"Oh all right! ok!"
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"First test, I will not call you that!"
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"Well it's my name it's not a test, ok?"
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"So. Looking few cards I've noticed that many of you wrote down the same incident,"
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"which is ironic,"
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"because it's the exact incident I was brought in here to respond to."
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"Now how many of you are familiar with the Chris Rock routine?"
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"Very good, ok."
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"How come Chris rock can do a routine,"
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"and everybody finds it hilarious, and ground breaking,"
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"and I go into the exact same routine, same comedy timing,"
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"and people file a complaint to corporate?"
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"Is it because Iím white, and Chris is black?"
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"So we're gonna reenact this with a more positive outcome."
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"I will play the Chris rock guy!"
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"I would like to see someone else pull this off."
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"Oh let's have someone who wasn't involve in the reenactment?"
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"Ok, I will play guy listening."
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"Great, guy listening."
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"- Ok anyone else remember? - I remember."
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"Great you're the Chris rock guy and you're the guy listening."
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"Kevin is a great guy,"
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"he's a great accountant, he is not much of an entertainer."
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"Basically, there are two types of black people."
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"And black people are actually more racists,"
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"because they hate the other type of black people."
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"Every time the one type wants to have a good time,"
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"then the other type comes in and makes a real mess."
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"Ok I'm sorry, I'm sorry he's ruining, he's butchering it, could you just let me..."
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"Every time, every time black people want to have a good time,"
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"some biiiip ass biiiip, I take care of my kids!"
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"... always want credit for something they're supposed to do!"
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"Stop it!"
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"What do you want? Cookie?"
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"Now this is a simple acronym, H.E.R.O."
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"At diversity today we believe it's very easy to be a hero."
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"All you need are Honesty, Empathy, Respect and Open mindedness."
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"- Excuse me? I'm sorry but that's not all it takes to be a hero. - Oh great, what is a hero to you?"
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"A hero kills people. People that wish him harm."
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"Ok."
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"A hero is part human, part supernatural,"
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"a hero is born out of a child with trauma, or out of a disaster,"
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