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Clips from The Office - Diversity Day (S01E01)

"that must be avenged."
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"- Ok, you're thinking of a superhero. - We all have a hero in our heart."
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"Now I need you to take these forms,"
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"this is the kind of expresses the joint experience we had today."
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"and I want you to look them over and sign them, as a kind of a group pledge."
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"I don't think I can sign this."
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"I can't leave until you do."
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"It says here that I've learned something,"
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"and I knew all this stuff already so..."
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"You know I could sign something that says that I taught something"
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"or that I helped you teach something so, Pam, where's she?"
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"- Pam could we change something on this? - Michael can I talk to you candidly?"
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"- Sure. - We both know that Iím here because of the comments that you've made."
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"Here's the thing, this office, I think it's very advanced,"
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"in terms of racial awareness."
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"And it's probably more advanced than you're used to."
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"- That's probably throwing you off. - It's not throwing me, I need your signature."
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"- Ok I know you told me that, several times. - Yes, but you're not listening to me,"
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"- yours is the only signature I need. - Oh ok."
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"Those are my instructions from the corporate offices"
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"is to put your through this seminar, for the comments that you made,"
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"and the only reason why I made copies for everyone was that you wouldnít be embarrassed."
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"Well here I am thinking that you actually cared about diversity training,"
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"and you don't."
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"- Don't worry about dating. - I won't."
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"- Ok thank you. - Yep."
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"I regret my actions, I regret offending my co-workers."
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"I pledge to bring my best spirit of honesty, empathy, respect and open-mindedness,"
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"openmindedness is that a word?"
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"Into the workplace, in this way I can truly be a hero."
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"Signed, daffy duck."
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"He's gonna lose it when he reads that."
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"Hi, is Mr. Decker around?"
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"Oh well could you just have him call me after lunch? Thank you."
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"I pledge to always keep an open mind and an open heart."
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"I do believe in that part of the pledge that I just read,"
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"but a pledge, come on, who are we? The girls scouts? No."
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"Look, the, the guy Mister brown, he got us half way there, he got us talking."
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"Well no, I got us talking. It got us nothing,"
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"he insulted us and he abandoned us."
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"You call that diversity training? I don't."
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"Were there any connections between any of us?"
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"Did anyone look each other in the eye, were there any emotion going on?"
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"No! Where was the heart, I didn't see any heart,"
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"where was my Oprah moment?"
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"Ok, get as much done as you can before lunch, because afterward,"
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"Iím gonna have you all in tears."
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"All right everybody pretty, come on, here we go, it's time. Let's do some good."
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"Hey we are not all gonna seat in circle in it so are we?"
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"- Get out! - I'm sorry."
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"No this not a joke, ok?"
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"It was offensive, and lame, so double offensive."
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"This is an environment of welcoming and you should just get the hell out of here."
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"Ok let's go, let's do it come on let's have some fun everybody."
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"Here we go, take a seat, cop a squat, and thank you for coming in."
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"Diversity... is the cornerstone of progress, as Iíve always said."
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"But don't take my word for it. Let's take a look at the tape."
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"Hi Iím Michael Scott, Iím in charge of Dundler Mifflin paper products"
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"here in Scranton, Pennsylvania."
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"But I'm also the founder of diversity tomorrow,"
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"because today is almost over."
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"Abraham Lincoln once said that if you're a racist"
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"I will attack you with the north."
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"And those are the principles that I carry with me in the workplace."
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"Ok, questions? Comments? Anybody, Jim?"
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"- Uhh, is that it? - Yes I only had an hour to put it together,"
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"- but Iím gonna add onto it later on. - It was kind of hard to hear."
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"Uh yes that probably has something to do with the camera work. Anybody else?"
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"- I have a customer meeting. - Yeah well if you leave we'll only have to..."
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"Yes, enjoy, absolutely. "Namaste"."
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"Ok, well, since I am leading this"
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"let's get down to business, and why don't I, just kind of introduce myself, ok?"
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"I am Michael, and I am part English, Irish, German, and Scottish,"
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"sort of a virtual United Nations."
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"But what some of you might not know, is that I am also part native American Indian."
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"What part, native American?"
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"- 2/15th - That fraction doesn't make any sense."
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"Well, you know what it's kinda hard for me to talk about it. It's suffering"
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"So who else? Let's get it popping, come on. Whose gone?"
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"Let's go here, Oscar, right here, you're on!"
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"Ok Michael, both my parents were born in Mexico"
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"and they moved to the united-states a year before I was born,"
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"so I grew up in the united states and my parents were Mexicans."
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"That is a great story, that's the American dream right there, right?"
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"Thank you, yeah"
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"Let me ask you is there a term besides Mexican, that you prefer?"
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"Something less offensive?"
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"- Mexican isn't offensive! - Well it has certain connotations."
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"- Like what? - Like... I don't know"
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"- What connotations Michael? - No..."
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"- It must have been something - No, remember"
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"- I'm just curious - Honesty, Empathy, Respect,"
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"Jim?"
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"Hello?"
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"I have something here, I want you to take a card"
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"put it on you fore... don't look at the card!"
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"I want you to take the card, I want you to put it on you forehead and"
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"take a card, any card"
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"and I want you to treat other people like the race"
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"that is on their forehead. So everybody has a different race"
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"nobody knows what their race is, so"
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"I want you to really go for it, cause this is real"
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"you know this isn't just an exercise this is real life and"
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"I have a dream that you all really let this spark fly"
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"get it done!"
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"Why? Because Martin Luther King is a hero of mine"
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"There's this great Chris Rock bit about how streets named after Martin Luther King,"
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"tend to be more violent."
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"I'm not gonna do it but it's"
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"oh this is a good one"
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"- Hum, hi how are you? - Fine, how are you?"
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"- Push it - Great"
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"I admire your culture success in America."
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"Thank you."
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"Come on! Olympics of sufferings right here Slavery versus Holocaust, come on!"
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"- Whom am I supposed to be? - It's called role play"
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"well, that was an invert, we didn't actually plan that"
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"Lot's of cultures eat rice, That doesn't help me"
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"- Shalom, I'd like to apply for a loan. - That's nice, Dwight."
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"OK, do me. Something stereotypical so I can get it really quick."
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