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Clips from Seinfeld - Good News, Bad News (S01E01)

"Spelling mom with two O's."
Seinfeld
"That's very funny."
Seinfeld
"- What do you do? - Comedian."
Seinfeld
"Really? That explains it."
Seinfeld
"Sagman, Bennett, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taff."
Seinfeld
"You ready?"
Seinfeld
"We gotta run. Happy birthday."
Seinfeld
"- Bye, everyone. - Thanks for coming."
Seinfeld
"- Bye. - Bye."
Seinfeld
"I can't believe it. I got nothing."
Seinfeld
"I don't even know her name."
Seinfeld
"Sagman, Bennett, Robbins, Oppenheim and Taff."
Seinfeld
"That wasn't so bad, really."
Seinfeld
"You know..."
Seinfeld
"...you could use a little work on your manners."
Seinfeld
"Why? What did I do?"
Seinfeld
"Well, I just don't appreciate these little courtesy responses..."
Seinfeld
"...like I'm selling you aluminium siding. - I was listening."
Seinfeld
"No. You couldn't wait to get back to your little conversation."
Seinfeld
"No. You were talking about the dream you had..."
Seinfeld
"...where you had wooden teeth. - No!"
Seinfeld
"No! You had wooden teeth!"
Seinfeld
"You had wooden teeth. I didn't have them, you did."
Seinfeld
"All right, so I had wooden teeth. So what?"
Seinfeld
"So... So nothing. Nothing."
Seinfeld
"Apparently Plato..."
Seinfeld
"...who came up with the concept of the platonic relationship..."
Seinfeld
"...was pretty excited about it."
Seinfeld
"He named it after himself. He said, Yeah, I got this new thing."
Seinfeld
"Platonic."
Seinfeld
"My idea, my name. Calling it after myself."
Seinfeld
"What I do is..."
Seinfeld
"...I go out with the girls..."
Seinfeld
"...I talk with them..."
Seinfeld
"...don't do anything..."
Seinfeld
"...and go right home."
Seinfeld
"What do you think?"
Seinfeld
"I think it's going to be big."
Seinfeld
"I bet you other guys in history tried..."
Seinfeld
"...getting relationships named after them, but it didn't work."
Seinfeld
"I bet you there were guys that tried to do it. Just went:"
Seinfeld
"Hi, my name's Rico."
Seinfeld
"Would you like to go to bed immediately?"
Seinfeld
"Hey, it's a 'riconic' relationship."
Seinfeld
"- Hey. - There he is."
Seinfeld
"This is what I like. See?"
Seinfeld
"You come home, your parents are in your bed."
Seinfeld
"You know, Jerry, we don't have to do this."
Seinfeld
"What are you talking about? I love having you here."
Seinfeld
"- Tomorrow, we'll go to a hotel. - Ma, will you stop?"
Seinfeld
"No. Why should we take over your apartment?"
Seinfeld
"I don't care. I'm sleeping next door."
Seinfeld
"Your friend Kramer doesn't mind?"
Seinfeld
"No. He's making a bouillabaisse."
Seinfeld
"So, Dad, let me ask you a question."
Seinfeld
"How many people work at these big law offices?"
Seinfeld
"- Depends on the firm. - Yeah, but if you called..."
Seinfeld
"...and described someone, you think they would know who it was?"
Seinfeld
"What's the matter, you need a lawyer?"
Seinfeld
"I met someone. I know where she works, but I don't know her name."
Seinfeld
"Why don't you ask someone who was at the party?"
Seinfeld
"No. The only one I could ask is Elaine. I can't ask her."
Seinfeld
"- Why not? - Because it's complicated."
Seinfeld
"There's some tension there."
Seinfeld
"He used to go with her."
Seinfeld
"- Which one is she? - From Maryland."
Seinfeld
"She brought the chocolate-covered cherries you didn't like."
Seinfeld
"Oh, yeah. Very alert. Warm person."
Seinfeld
"Oh, yeah, she's great."
Seinfeld
"So how come nothing materialized there?"
Seinfeld
"Well, it's a tough thing to talk about."
Seinfeld
"- I don't know. - I know what it was."
Seinfeld
"You don't know what it was."
Seinfeld
"So what was it?"
Seinfeld
"Well, we fight a lot for some reason."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, well. - Oh, well."
Seinfeld
"And there was a little problem with the physical chemistry."
Seinfeld
"Well, I think she's a very attractive girl."
Seinfeld
"She is. She absolutely is."
Seinfeld
"I can see if there was a weight problem..."
Seinfeld
"No, it's not that."
Seinfeld
"It wasn't all one-sided."
Seinfeld
"You know you can't be so particular. Nobody's perfect."
Seinfeld
"- I know, I know. - You know, Jerry..."
Seinfeld
"...good thing I wasn't so particular."
Seinfeld
"Idiot."
Seinfeld
"- Who you looking for, Sophia Loren? - That's got nothing to do with it."
Seinfeld
"How about Loni Anderson?"
Seinfeld
"Where do you get Loni Anderson?"
Seinfeld
"Why, what's wrong with Loni Anderson?"
Seinfeld
"I like Elaine more than Loni Anderson."
Seinfeld
"What are you two talking about?"
Seinfeld
"Look, Elaine just wasn't the one."
Seinfeld
"And this other one's the one?"
Seinfeld
"- I don't know. Maybe. - So ask Elaine there for the number."
Seinfeld
"I can't. She'll get upset."
Seinfeld
"I never talk about other women with her..."
Seinfeld
"...especially this one tonight. - How could you still see her..."
Seinfeld
"...if you're not interested? - We're friends."
Seinfeld
"Doesn't sound like you're friends. If you were friends..."
Seinfeld
"...you'd ask her for the number."
Seinfeld
"- Do you know where this one works? - Oh, yeah."
Seinfeld
"So go up to the office."
Seinfeld
"Up to her office?"
Seinfeld
"Go to the building."
Seinfeld
"She goes out to lunch, doesn't she?"
Seinfeld
"- I guess. - So you stand in the lobby..."
Seinfeld
"...by the elevator and wait for her to come down for lunch."
Seinfeld
"You mean stake out the lobby?"
Seinfeld
"Morty, that's ridiculous. Just ask Elaine for the number."
Seinfeld
"He doesn't want to ask Elaine for the number."
Seinfeld
"So you got him standing by the elevator like a dope."
Seinfeld
"- What happens when he sees her? - He pretends he bumped into her."
Seinfeld
"You know what? This is not that bad an idea."
Seinfeld
"- What does she look like? - I don't know. It's hard to say."
Seinfeld
"What actress does she remind you of?"
Seinfeld
"Loni Anderson."
Seinfeld
"Loni Anderson?"
Seinfeld
"What, there's something wrong with Loni Anderson?"
Seinfeld
"Hey, listen, thanks again for running over here."
Seinfeld
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