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Clips from Flight of the Conchords - Mugged (S01E01)

"What did Hamish do?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Is he gonna get a new tractor?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Yeah, well, he probably shouldn't."
Flight of the Conchords
"He lives in the city."
Flight of the Conchords
"No, it's not that dangerous here."
Flight of the Conchords
"- I don't need a gun. - Tell her it is a bit dangerous."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Not all Americans have guns. - Tell her Dave's got a paintball gun."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Dave has a paintball gun. - It's not a real gun, though."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Yeah, it's not real. - Just shoots paint."
Flight of the Conchords
"I'm not gonna get a gun, though. I'm not getting..."
Flight of the Conchords
"I've told you that. No."
Flight of the Conchords
"Tell her I'm thinking about getting a gun."
Flight of the Conchords
"That's Bruce Willis, though."
Flight of the Conchords
"Tell her about all the TV stations here, Bret."
Flight of the Conchords
"- He's acting. It's not real. - Bret, the TV stations."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Tell her about all the TV stations. - Jemaine wants me to tell you"
Flight of the Conchords
"there's a lot of TV stations."
Flight of the Conchords
"What'd she say?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- How many? - I don't know."
Flight of the Conchords
"There's a lot. Yeah yeah, no. More than four."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Yeah. - What'd she say?"
Flight of the Conchords
"She says "Wow." Well, I'll talk to you soon."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Say bye for... - Jemaine says "Bye" as well."
Flight of the Conchords
"She says "Bye." Do you want to talk to her?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- Nuh-uh. - No. Okay."
Flight of the Conchords
"All right, bye. Bye."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Who was that? - It's Mom. She's good."
Flight of the Conchords
"Okay, guys, band meeting."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Jemaine? - Yes."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Yes? - Yes."
Flight of the Conchords
"Bret?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Murray, I was wondering if you could call me by my rapping name?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- Your rapping name? - Rhymenoceros."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Rhinoceros? - The Rhymenoceros."
Flight of the Conchords
"Nah, well, that's not gonna fit in here."
Flight of the Conchords
"I've got "Bret." Can't you just have Bret as your rapping name?"
Flight of the Conchords
"No. It's not a rapping name."
Flight of the Conchords
"It's a good rapping name."
Flight of the Conchords
""Hello, everybody, I am Bret.""
Flight of the Conchords
"- No. - Rhymes with "wet" and..."
Flight of the Conchords
"No, "Rhymenoceros.""
Flight of the Conchords
"Look, if you're gonna have some sort of rap name,"
Flight of the Conchords
"just be careful you don't do a drive-by."
Flight of the Conchords
"- I won't. - Well, you'd better not."
Flight of the Conchords
"You know what I mean by that?"
Flight of the Conchords
"What about you, Jemaine? Have you got a rapping name?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Yeah, "Hiphopopotamus,""
Flight of the Conchords
"but you can just call me Jemaine if you want."
Flight of the Conchords
"Okay. Well, let's go again. Jemaine?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- I just said yes before. - Yep."
Flight of the Conchords
"Okay, and what is it? "Rhymenoceros.""
Flight of the Conchords
"Mm-hmm."
Flight of the Conchords
"And Murray... present."
Flight of the Conchords
""Band agenda:"
Flight of the Conchords
"Item one, haircut." Bret."
Flight of the Conchords
"- No, haven't had it done. - Well, get it cut."
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"I mean, you don't hear of professional musicians with long hair."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Well, Led Zeppelin? - I mean a man."
Flight of the Conchords
"It needs a trim."
Flight of the Conchords
"Yours is pretty long, Murray."
Flight of the Conchords
""Item 2-A, gig.""
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh, "a gig." I'm gonna get you guys another gig."
Flight of the Conchords
"What do you mean, "another gig"?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- Remember the other one? - Vaguely."
Flight of the Conchords
"Well, what about another one?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Murray, I was thinking perhaps we could do gigs at night?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- No... no, come on. - Yes, most bands..."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Most bands play at night. - Not again."
Flight of the Conchords
"- We've talked about this. - Most bands play at night."
Flight of the Conchords
"It's too dangerous out there at night."
Flight of the Conchords
"We go around walking around at night all the time."
Flight of the Conchords
"Well, you know, anything could happen. You could get run over,"
Flight of the Conchords
"pickpocketed, fall down a manhole,"
Flight of the Conchords
"bump into people,"
Flight of the Conchords
"murdered... imagine that..."
Flight of the Conchords
"or even just ridiculed."
Flight of the Conchords
"- We've never been ridiculed. - No."
Flight of the Conchords
"- You haven't? - No."
Flight of the Conchords
"Well, that's a surprise. I get ridiculed all the time."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Really? - Yup."
Flight of the Conchords
""Oh hey, ginger-balls.""
Flight of the Conchords
"You know?"
Flight of the Conchords
"That was Bret."
Flight of the Conchords
"- He called you that. - The other night."
Flight of the Conchords
"Well, it's not just you, Bret,"
Flight of the Conchords
"it's all the time, and it's not just ginger-balls, you know?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- I thought that was your nickname? - No."
Flight of the Conchords
"I get, "Oh, what are you on your way to..."
Flight of the Conchords
"a dick meeting?""
Flight of the Conchords
"All right, here you are."
Flight of the Conchords
"You should wear these T-shirts with "New York" on them."
Flight of the Conchords
"All right, just so you fit in. Here's a hat."
Flight of the Conchords
"Put this on, all right? "Hey, I'm walkin' here!""
Flight of the Conchords
"That's what they say when... people get in the way,"
Flight of the Conchords
"so there's the hats."
Flight of the Conchords
"You'll need a map."
Flight of the Conchords
"All right, take one of those each."
Flight of the Conchords
"These are just maps of New York."
Flight of the Conchords
"Keep them open. Every time you stop and get lost,"
Flight of the Conchords
"you know where you are."
Flight of the Conchords
"And these are the safety reflective belts. All right, they light up."
Flight of the Conchords
"I'm not gonna wear that."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Yeah, you should. - No, I'm not wearing it."
Flight of the Conchords
"Don't give it to me, I'm not gonna wear it."
Flight of the Conchords
"Would you rather get murdered?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Come on."
Flight of the Conchords
"...'cause he's down in the hole doing nothing."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Whoa. - All right, go."
Flight of the Conchords
"Did they get him out or?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- Yeah, they got him out. - Yeah."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Yeah, Justin found him. - You got a cigarette?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- Sorry, we don't smoke. - Oh, that's too bad."
Flight of the Conchords
"Because my man Mickey here wants a cigarette,"
Flight of the Conchords
"so now you're gonna have to give him some money."
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh... we don't have any money, man."
Flight of the Conchords
"Listen, you don't want to mess with him, because he's crazy, man,"
Flight of the Conchords
"all right? He's a psycho-killer."
Flight of the Conchords
"Qu'est-ce que c'est? Give me some money."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Well, I've got $15. - Okay, hand it over."
Flight of the Conchords
"No, but it's in the bank. We'd have to go to the bank to get it out."
Flight of the Conchords
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