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Clips from 10-Year-Old-Tom - Roastmaster Tom/A Daffodil for Terence (S01E01)

"- I mean, I'll buy it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- If anything, it's too on the nose."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Isn't there anything in there for, like, the cool guy"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"or some kind of assassin or?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Something about your face just screams,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
""I'm an idiot who lives in a village.""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, I question the casting choice"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"but let me sleep on it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"All right, so I'm playing the village idiot, Lucian."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"So why don't you just read the lines"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"before that and I'll come in?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay. [clears throat]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
""And we shall run through the daffodils forever more.""
10-Year-Old-Tom
""Enter Lucian, a real idiot. He stands there stupidly.""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Um, here are your slippers, sir."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Thanks, Ma. That was a big help."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That's it? Where are the rest of your lines?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"We're gonna do all your lines. - No, that's it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I give him the slippers and then I-I leave."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You hand off the slippers and then you leave?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Tom, I'ma be real with you. If I'm gonna get dressed up,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"bath, and drive to that school"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"to hear one line, it better be a doozy."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- No, no. No, no. Don't get the pencil out."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"No. Mr. B doesn't like rewrites."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- It's a tweak. - He said if we work off script"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"he's gonna physically harm us."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm just putting this in the script."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"It's not a rewrite, it's a tweak."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"He said he's gonna physically harm you?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- He said it more than once."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- When your line comes up, this is what I want you to say."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I actually like that. - Right?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yeah, I think Mr. B is really gonna see the humor in that."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[indistinct chatter]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, everyone."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Welcome to our table read for "A Daffodil for Terence.""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I hope you all love it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I really hope some of you get it"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"because some people can be quite thick."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Is he looking at me?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Nelson will read our stage directions"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and Blaze will be doing double duty"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"as both our lead and also the cat."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"And now, "A Daffodil for Terence.""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Curtains open on a bleak café in Denmark."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"The café is silent"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"except for the wailing moan of a depressed cat."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- [meowing sadly]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Such brave writing."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Valdemar stands defiantly above the motionless corpse."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Lucian enters and discovers the carnage."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Um...uh...who farted?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[laughter] - What?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- My script says "Who farted?" Is that the right line?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Stop laughing."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That was hysterical."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- This table read is now canceled."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"And by the way, Denise,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I was talking about you because you're thick."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You're slow."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What the hell?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, please calm down, it's just a play."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I spent 18 years on that script."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"And he adds one line and he rewrites it"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"so that it's a fart joke."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That was actually my mom's rewrite."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, so is she a village idiot too?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- No, very smart lady."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Perhaps this is a family business."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You can't make money doing that."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Let's try to encourage these kids."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"That's what I'm a principal for."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Okay, Tom? Seriously, you did great."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Thank you. It felt good."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Great? He did great? - You gotta admit that he got"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"the best reaction of the play, okay?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"So I have a great idea."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Let's recast and have Tom play the lead."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You can't be serious. - No, I'm not a lead."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I like to blend in. Don't put me up front."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Mr. B, tell Blaze he's demoted"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and he'll play the cat. That's fun."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, no, Blaze won't be happy with that."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- He'll love it. Meow. Meow."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"He can remember his lines easier."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- This is outrageous."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You have no respect for my work nor my direction."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I have a lot of respect for your craft."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"And Tom, ask your mom if she can look at the script"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and see if she can work in, like, more fart jokes."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- We're talking, like, one per page or?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Fart it up. - Oh, my God."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Fart it up."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[light jazz music playing over radio]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[tires squeal] - Good God."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh. Aren't you Tom's weird teacher?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm Mr. B and I came to apologize."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"May I come in? - Yeah, I guess."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, wow. The decor is spectacularly mundane."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Thank you."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, hey, Mr. B. Listen, uh,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"if you wanna recast, that's fine."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I don't--I don't even wanna be in the play."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tom, my hands are tied. You have to be in the play."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, okay. So why are you here?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I've given this a great deal of thought."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"What if I were to take you under my wing"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and mold you in my image?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, no. No, no."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Wouldn't you like to be"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"a short little ten-year-old Mr. B?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Not really, no. That doesn't sound too good."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- We have one week, Tom. - Whoa."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- And for that time, you will live, eat,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and breathe Mr. B. - No, I don't wanna do that."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What, is he supposed to live at your house?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- This will be a seven day acting boot camp..."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Please stop talking."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Culminating with a trip to Broadway."
10-Year-Old-Tom
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