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Clips from 10-Year-Old-Tom - Roastmaster Tom/A Daffodil for Terence (S01E01)

"- ♪ Now as our poor young lungs deflate ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ I'll admit I've gotten older ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Mellowed out, chatting up those I used to hate ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ The feeling that we're lost will always fade ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ I present no explanations ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Can't expect our tired patience ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ To satiate for long ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Therein lies a truth we can sip when we want ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Disciples of the flow, we can float anywhere ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[knocking] - Uh, principal?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"They told me you wanna see me"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and that you're-you're furious. Principal, you there?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- [laughs] Gotcha. - Wait, what?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- The principal's at lunch."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That's not funny at all, Brenda."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I gotta question your sense of humor."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- It's super funny, trust me."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Since when do you have a good personality?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I thought you were the boring lady who sits in the hall."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- When the principal is here, I'm buttoned-up Brenda."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"But once he leaves, man, I let lose."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Let's get buttoned-up Brenda back."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"This is not working. - Here's why I called you in."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay. - The principal's 20th"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"anniversary at school is coming up."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"So we're throwing him a roast. - A roast?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Where you make fun of people, but you do it in a fun way."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"And we want you to be the roast master."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Roast master? That sounds like a lot of work."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I'm-I'm gonna pass. - There's no passing."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"No, no. No passing. - Eh."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Count me out. - It's been decided."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"We already went to the print shop."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"We made a cardboard cutout."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I didn't approve that. That's not sanctioned."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- It's not up to you to approve anything."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Once you're on school grounds, pfft with your rights."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm a minor, so you can force me to be a roast master?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yes. We'll force you to sit in a room as long as we want,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and we can force you to make jokes."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I know we friends and everything"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"but this is a travesty. - I know."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I got passed over for roast master, for you."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I agree, you would have been better, but hey,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"don't let it ruin the sleepover."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Do you mind if I run some of my jokes by ya?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What you got?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I think I'm gonna open with, "Greetings."
10-Year-Old-Tom
""The principal is very excited"
10-Year-Old-Tom
""when he heard we're having a roast."
10-Year-Old-Tom
""But I think the guy was--I think"
10-Year-Old-Tom
""he might have thought we were"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"talking about roast beef.""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, no. - I gotta work on the phrasing"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"but that's the gist of the joke."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yeah, we get it. What else you got?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- The principal drives a Ford Fiesta,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"which is Spanish for "party.""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"But the last time I checked this guy's a real"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"party pooper. Am I right, people?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Man, this is gonna be terrible, man."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You gonna bomb. - You're right, actually."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"This is not funny."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- We got one night to make you funny."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, what do I do?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Come with me, Tom."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Wait, where are we going?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Shh. My dad's asleep."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I don't wanna wake him."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What is this weird room? - This is a man cave."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Are we allowed to be in here? - We not men."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"So technically we breaking and entering."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, my God, what an incredible room."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Wesley Snipes, grown lady's boobs,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"couple of weird hats. This is incredible."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"What do we do now? - Oh, man, we are about"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"to watch some roast."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, he's got a collection of roasts."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"This is perfect. Learn from the professionals."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Ryan is so unattractive."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"When he smiles at me, I take an immediate shit."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- [laughing]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Huh, kind of an off-color joke."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, Brian, look at the nose on that guy."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"If you can find it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"It looks like a pig's butthole."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- [laughing] I love this dude, man."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Is that funny or very hurtful?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- At a roast you say things that are hurtful."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"But then you laugh and say, "Just kidding. Love you buddy.""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Why not just say the last part?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, that's not a joke really."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What a dog-shit career this guy has."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I mean, if I woke up with that career"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I'd put a shotgun in my mouth and pull the trigger."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[laughing] Oh, Brian,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"you pig nose son of a bitch. Love you buddy."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Oh, you're the man. You're the man."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Ah, you see people are having a ball."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Look at that. - Right, but I can't say"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"any of these things. I'm a kid."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Like my dad says, nothing more adorable"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"than a curse word coming out of a young child's mouth."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I don't think my mom would agree,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"but you guys seem to know what you're talking about over here."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[crowd cheers, applauds] - Uh, hi, gang."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I can't believe you guys did this for me."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"It's--after 20 years, I love you people like family."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"And as the saying goes,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"you can't spell "principal" without pal."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"And that's--that's how you kids make me feel."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Not like I'm your principal or an authoritative figure,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"just feel like I'm your pal. And I--and I do appreciate it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[applause]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Wow, so emotional."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"All right, I'm your roast master."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"If you need anything, just holler."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Uh, why don't we start with Dakota."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hi."
10-Year-Old-Tom
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